Dealing with Reluctant Family Members Seeking Medical Help - Psychiatry

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Family members are unwilling to seek medical care?


My mother has been experiencing throat issues for the past three months.
She clears her throat approximately every minute, sometimes coughs, and even wakes up coughing during the night.
However, she is quite averse to seeing a doctor and insists that if she doesn't get checked, she won't be sick.
She prefers to take over-the-counter medication to suppress her symptoms.
I have tried to communicate with her about seeing a doctor just for a diagnosis, but she accuses me of wishing illness upon her and claims that she knows her own body best.
Since our rooms are adjacent and the soundproofing is poor, I can hear her coughing or clearing her throat throughout the day, which makes me anxious and worried.
I often struggle with insomnia because of this, but my mother is very stubborn and refuses to listen to advice.
I feel utterly helpless.

Nìmíng, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/10/29

Dr. Xiao Minghong reply Psychiatry


Hello Sir: In our country, we place great importance on patient rights and emphasize patient autonomy.
Therefore, under normal circumstances, it is not possible to force a patient to seek medical care.
It is best to encourage the individual to willingly seek treatment.
However, since you are her son, she may be less inclined to listen to your advice.
In this case, you might consider enlisting the help of trusted relatives, friends, or neighbors to persuade her, or invite her to go to the hospital for an examination together.
Sometimes, hospitals participate in outreach activities such as free clinics, where the consultation may not necessarily take place in the hospital.
If the patient still firmly refuses to seek medical care, you could kindly explain that you would like to take her to participate in community activities and then bring her to the location of the free clinic.
Wishing you all the best.

Sincerely,
Dr.
Hsiang Ming-Hung

Reply Date: 2020/10/29

More Info


Dealing with a reluctant family member who is hesitant to seek medical help can be a challenging and emotionally taxing situation. In your case, your mother’s persistent throat issues, coupled with her aversion to medical professionals, create a complex dynamic that requires sensitivity and understanding. Here are some strategies that may help you encourage her to seek the medical attention she needs while respecting her autonomy.


Understanding Her Perspective
First, it’s essential to understand why your mother may be resistant to seeing a doctor. Many individuals have a deep-seated fear of medical environments, often stemming from past experiences or a general distrust of healthcare providers. This fear can manifest as a belief that if they do not seek medical attention, they will not be diagnosed with a condition, thus avoiding the anxiety associated with potential illness. Acknowledging her feelings and fears can help build trust and open a dialogue.


Open Communication
Engage in open and non-confrontational communication. Instead of insisting that she sees a doctor, try to express your concerns in a way that emphasizes your care for her well-being. You might say something like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been coughing a lot, and I’m worried about you. It would help me feel better if we could just get it checked out, even if it’s just to rule out anything serious.” This approach frames the visit as a way to alleviate your worries rather than as an admission of illness on her part.


Suggest a Compromise
If she remains resistant, consider proposing a compromise. For example, suggest a telehealth appointment where she can speak with a doctor from the comfort of her home. This option may feel less intimidating and can provide her with the reassurance that she is not being forced into a clinical setting. Additionally, you can offer to accompany her to the appointment, which may help her feel more supported.


Educate and Inform
Sometimes, fear stems from a lack of information. Providing her with educational materials about her symptoms and the importance of early diagnosis can help demystify the process. You might share articles or videos that explain common throat issues and their treatments, emphasizing that many conditions are easily treatable when caught early.


Addressing the Symptoms
While you work on encouraging her to seek medical help, it’s also important to address her symptoms. Encourage her to try home remedies that may alleviate her discomfort, such as warm saltwater gargles, honey, or herbal teas. However, make it clear that these are temporary measures and not substitutes for professional medical advice.


Involve Other Family Members
If possible, involve other family members in the conversation. Sometimes, hearing concerns from multiple loved ones can help reinforce the message that seeking help is a collective concern rather than a personal attack. However, ensure that this is done in a supportive manner and not as an intervention that could make her feel cornered.


Professional Help
If her symptoms persist and her reluctance continues to be a barrier, consider seeking the advice of a mental health professional. Sometimes, underlying anxiety or depression can contribute to a person's reluctance to seek medical help. A therapist can provide her with coping strategies and help her address her fears in a safe environment.


Conclusion
Ultimately, it’s important to respect your mother’s autonomy while expressing your concerns. While you cannot force her to seek medical help, you can provide support, information, and encouragement. Remember to take care of your own mental health as well, as worrying about a loved one can take a toll on your well-being. Seeking support for yourself, whether through friends, family, or professional counseling, can help you navigate this challenging situation.

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