Why Does My Penis Not Get Hard After Sex? the Changes - Urology

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Erectile dysfunction (ED) after sexual activity is a common concern among men, and it can stem from a variety of factors, both physical and psychological. Based on your description, it seems that you experience difficulty maintaining an erection after having sex with your girlfriend, while still being able to achieve an erection when stimulated by pornography or when your girlfriend is present. This phenomenon can be attributed to several interrelated factors.


Psychological Factors
1. Performance Anxiety: One of the most significant contributors to erectile dysfunction is anxiety related to sexual performance. If you are worried about not being able to maintain an erection, this anxiety can create a cycle where the fear of failure leads to actual failure. This is especially true if you have experienced difficulties in the past, as the memory of those experiences can heighten your anxiety.

2. Expectations and Pressure: The pressure to perform can be overwhelming, especially if you feel that your partner has certain expectations. This pressure can lead to a decrease in sexual arousal and, consequently, difficulty in maintaining an erection.

3. Psychological Conditioning: Your brain may have developed a conditioned response to certain stimuli. For instance, if you have previously found that watching pornography leads to arousal, your brain may rely on that stimulus rather than the physical presence of your partner. This can create a disconnect between physical intimacy and arousal.


Physical Factors
1. Fatigue: Sexual activity can be physically demanding. After ejaculation, many men experience a refractory period during which it is difficult to achieve another erection. This is a normal physiological response and can vary in duration from a few minutes to several hours, depending on the individual.

2. Hormonal Changes: After sexual activity, there can be fluctuations in hormone levels, particularly testosterone and prolactin. Elevated prolactin levels post-ejaculation can lead to temporary erectile difficulties.

3. Health Conditions: Underlying health issues such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, or hormonal imbalances can also contribute to erectile dysfunction. If you have any pre-existing conditions, it may be worth discussing these with a healthcare provider.


Behavioral Factors
1. Use of Lubricants: You mentioned using body wash or shampoo as lubricants. These products are not designed for sexual activity and can lead to irritation or discomfort, which may affect your ability to maintain an erection. It is advisable to use products specifically designed for sexual activity.

2. Stimulation Techniques: The way you engage in sexual activity can also impact your ability to maintain an erection. If you find that certain positions or techniques are less stimulating, it may be beneficial to explore different methods of intimacy with your partner.


Recommendations
1. Communication: Openly discussing your feelings and experiences with your girlfriend can help alleviate some of the pressure you may be feeling. Understanding that both of you are in this together can create a more relaxed atmosphere.

2. Focus on Foreplay: Engaging in extended foreplay can enhance arousal and help maintain an erection. This can also shift the focus away from penetration and performance, allowing for a more enjoyable experience.

3. Consult a Professional: If these issues persist, it may be beneficial to consult a healthcare provider or a therapist specializing in sexual health. They can help identify any underlying issues and provide tailored advice or treatment options.

4. Practice Relaxation Techniques: Techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, or deep-breathing exercises can help reduce anxiety and improve your overall sexual experience.

In conclusion, the interplay of psychological, physical, and behavioral factors can significantly impact erectile function. Understanding these factors and addressing them through communication, exploration, and professional guidance can lead to improved sexual experiences and overall satisfaction.