Self-Harm and Suicidal Thoughts in Teens: A Call for Help

Being told that I have a problem (adolescent)?

Hello, Dr.
Song.
I have been experiencing suicidal thoughts and self-harming tendencies for about six months to over a year.
These suicidal thoughts began after my grandmother passed away when I was in fifth grade, and they have only worsened over the years.
I want to seek outpatient treatment, but various factors, including scheduling conflicts, make it difficult.
I dread going to school every day.
I am not bullied, and my academic performance is decent, but I dislike the educational approach at school and often feel like no one understands what I am saying.
I value freedom and happiness, but I often feel empty and exhausted from living this way.
My mood can swing from extreme happiness to complete breakdowns where I cry uncontrollably.
Sometimes, comments from my mother make me feel worthless and inadequate, leading me to break down and self-harm as a form of punishment and to calm myself.
It is effective, but my classmates have noticed, and they think I should see a doctor.
I also have some gastrointestinal issues and a long-standing breathing problem where I sometimes struggle to breathe.
I often eat until I feel nauseous or skip meals altogether, and I have some bronchial and asthma issues.
I also use coffee to feel happy and alert, but I tend to engage in extreme or excessive behaviors in almost everything I do.
Based on the above situation, it’s okay if you don’t believe me; I just want to confirm whether I should see a doctor and consider medication.
Thank you.

zheng, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/01/05

Dr. Song Chengxian reply Psychiatry

Hello, it seems that you are quite aware that your mental and physical condition is not ideal.
The ongoing self-harm behaviors and suicidal thoughts indicate that you are not happy.
I recommend that you seek help from a mental health specialist or psychiatrist, who can assist you in improving your current situation.
Sincerely, Dr.
Song.

Reply Date: 2016/01/05

More Info

Dear Student,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experiences. It takes a lot of courage to express what you are going through, and I want to assure you that your feelings are valid and important. Based on what you've described, it seems that you are facing significant emotional distress, which includes persistent suicidal thoughts and self-harm tendencies. These are serious issues that require professional help.

Firstly, it's crucial to understand that the feelings of emptiness, extreme emotional fluctuations, and self-harm behaviors you are experiencing are not uncommon among teenagers, especially those who have faced loss or trauma, such as the passing of a loved one. The grief you have felt since your grandmother's death can manifest in various ways, including feelings of worthlessness and despair. It’s important to recognize that these feelings can intensify over time, as you have noted, and they can lead to harmful coping mechanisms like self-harm.

Self-harm is often a way for individuals to cope with overwhelming emotions. It can provide a temporary sense of relief or control, but it does not address the underlying issues causing the pain. Instead, it can lead to a cycle of shame and further emotional distress. The fact that you have been using self-harm as a way to punish or calm yourself indicates that you are in a lot of pain, and this is a signal that you need support.

Your mention of feeling misunderstood and disconnected from your peers and the educational environment is also significant. Many adolescents struggle with feelings of isolation, especially when they feel that their thoughts and emotions are not being acknowledged or understood. This can exacerbate feelings of depression and anxiety, leading to a sense of hopelessness.

Given your situation, I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide you with the tools and strategies to cope with your feelings in a healthier way. Therapy can help you process your grief, understand your emotions, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. It’s also important to address any physical health issues you mentioned, such as gastrointestinal problems and asthma, as these can impact your overall well-being.

If you are concerned about finding time to see a doctor, consider reaching out to a school counselor or a trusted adult who can help facilitate this process. Many schools have resources available for students struggling with mental health issues, and they can assist you in finding the right support. Additionally, if you feel comfortable, you might want to talk to your friends about your feelings; they may be able to provide support and encouragement in seeking help.

Lastly, please remember that you are not alone in this. Many people care about you and want to help. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s a sign of strength to reach out when you need it. Your life is valuable, and there are people and resources available to help you through this difficult time.

Take care of yourself, and I hope you find the support you need.

Best wishes,
Doctor Q&A Teams

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