Thoughts of wanting to harm or kill someone?
I appear to be a successful person in the eyes of others—good job, stable family environment, and good relationships—but my mental state seems off.
I often feel an impulse to harm others when faced with minor setbacks, and I find myself imagining scenarios where I attack someone.
The more I think about it, the faster my heart races and the more agitated I become.
Although I ultimately manage to hold back, there have been times when I felt I was on the verge of acting on these impulses.
I can't bear to think about what I might do if I actually followed through.
Additionally, I frequently find myself deliberately recalling unpleasant memories from the past, which makes me uncomfortable.
Even though I know these memories are painful, I can't help but revisit those situations, leading to feelings of disgust, sadness, and anger.
In my daily life, I also tend to dwell on minor unpleasant events, allowing them to bother me for an entire day, replaying the negativity in my mind.
Could you please tell me if there is something wrong with me? I dislike being this neurotic!
panda, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/02/25
Dr. Li Zhengfeng reply Psychiatry
Hello: Modern individuals inevitably face stress.
It is recommended that you seek some healthy ways to relieve stress.
When stress arises, you can practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing.
In your daily life, cultivate appropriate leisure activities, participate in legitimate clubs or religious activities, and avoid negative thinking.
This way, you can improve your quality of life.
Wishing you a happier life.
Reply Date: 2016/02/25
More Info
It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of emotional distress and impulsive thoughts that are causing you concern. While you may appear to have a successful life on the outside, with a good job, family, and social connections, the internal struggles you describe can be quite overwhelming. Let's break down some of the issues you mentioned and explore potential underlying causes and coping strategies.
Firstly, the impulsive thoughts of violence that you experience, especially when provoked by minor frustrations, can be indicative of underlying emotional dysregulation. This means that your emotional responses may be heightened, leading to intense feelings of anger or frustration that can manifest as violent fantasies. It's important to recognize that having these thoughts does not mean you will act on them, but they can be distressing and may indicate a need for support. This kind of emotional response can sometimes be linked to anxiety disorders, mood disorders, or even unresolved trauma.
Additionally, the tendency to ruminate on past negative experiences is another common symptom of emotional distress. Ruminating involves repeatedly thinking about distressing events, which can exacerbate feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety. This cycle of negative thinking can create a feedback loop, where the more you think about these unpleasant memories, the worse you feel, leading to further rumination. This behavior can be associated with conditions such as depression or anxiety disorders.
Your description of feeling "neurotic" or overly sensitive to minor inconveniences suggests that you may be experiencing heightened anxiety or stress. It's not uncommon for individuals who are high achievers to feel pressure to maintain their success, which can lead to increased stress and anxiety when faced with challenges. This pressure can make it difficult to cope with everyday frustrations, leading to an exaggerated emotional response.
To address these issues, it may be beneficial to consider the following strategies:
1. Seek Professional Help: Consulting with a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with the support and guidance needed to understand and manage your emotions. Therapy can help you explore the root causes of your feelings and develop coping strategies to deal with impulsive thoughts and emotional distress.
2. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. These techniques can also help reduce anxiety and improve emotional regulation.
3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This therapeutic approach focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns. CBT can be particularly effective for addressing rumination and impulsive thoughts, helping you develop healthier thinking habits.
4. Engage in Physical Activity: Regular exercise has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Physical activity can also serve as a healthy outlet for pent-up emotions, helping to alleviate stress.
5. Establish Healthy Boundaries: If certain situations or people trigger your emotional distress, it may be helpful to set boundaries to protect your mental well-being. This could involve limiting exposure to stressors or finding ways to communicate your needs effectively.
6. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process emotions. It can help you gain perspective on your experiences and identify patterns in your thinking.
7. Connect with Supportive People: Surrounding yourself with understanding friends or family members can provide a valuable support system. Sharing your feelings with trusted individuals can help alleviate some of the emotional burden.
In conclusion, while it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed by impulsive thoughts and emotional distress, it’s crucial to recognize that you are not alone in this experience. Seeking help and implementing coping strategies can lead to improved emotional health and a better quality of life. Remember, acknowledging your feelings is the first step towards healing and finding balance.
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