Dealing with Harassment from a Mentally Ill Acquaintance: A Guide

Being harassed is very distressing?

I would like to ask, my friend suddenly received harassing messages from someone they knew a long time ago, with whom they had no further contact.
The content of the messages mostly consisted of delusions, asking my friend to cooperate or to express the sender's feelings.
The frequency of these messages was quite high and lasted for a short period, but my friend did not respond.
Later, it was discovered that the sender was hospitalized due to mental health issues and believed that he needed my friend's "help" to be discharged.
However, my friend was very scared and did not want to respond or meet him.
The sender then switched to making phone calls to harass my friend, but currently, there has been no successful communication between them.
What should be done to resolve this situation? It has already caused distress to my friend and their family, affecting their sleep and daily life.
Although the sender is receiving treatment and has family support, my friend feels unfairly dragged into this situation and is very troubled.
Explaining the situation to the sender's family might hurt their feelings, but my friend is also overwhelmed by the harassment, especially since the sender likely knows where my friend lives, leading to fears of unpredictable developments.
Should my friend communicate with the sender's family? Would it be advisable for my friend and their family to see a psychologist for assistance?

Niming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/03/07

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, I suggest maintaining a stance of not responding to the individual's messages and blocking their calls.
Over time, this should reduce the frequency of contact.
If there is no improvement, you may consider reaching out to the individual's family to discuss the situation regarding their frequent calls or messages.
Generally, the family will express apologies and may discourage the individual's behavior.
Since the individual still lives with their family, they will also provide support during hospitalization, indicating that the family is actively fulfilling their role and responsibilities.
Regarding our risk, it is important to be aware of potential delusional behavior.
In rare cases, if we are perceived as the aggressor, there is a possibility of violent retaliation from the individual, which should be addressed by their family.
If that is not feasible, seeking assistance from the local health department or community health center can be helpful, as they typically intervene in such matters.
Avoidance is not a solution; the individual needs to undergo treatment to improve their condition, which will benefit both parties.
From my personal experience, individuals with mental illness are not inherently more dangerous than the general population.
Due to their illness or medication side effects, they often have less nuanced reactions and more straightforward thoughts, so I advise not to be overly anxious.
Wishing you all the best,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2016/03/07

More Info

Dealing with harassment from someone who is mentally ill can be a challenging and distressing situation. It’s important to approach this issue with sensitivity and care, both for your friend and the individual who is experiencing mental health issues. Here are some steps your friend can take to manage this situation effectively:
1. Establish Boundaries: Your friend should clearly define their boundaries regarding communication with the individual. It’s important to communicate that they do not wish to engage with the person, either through direct communication or indirectly by not responding to messages or calls. Setting these boundaries can help reduce the anxiety associated with the harassment.

2. Document Everything: Encourage your friend to keep a record of all communications received from the individual. This documentation can be useful if the situation escalates and they need to involve authorities or seek legal advice. Keeping track of dates, times, and the content of messages can provide a clearer picture of the harassment.

3. Seek Support: It’s crucial for your friend to talk to someone about their feelings and experiences. This could be a trusted family member, friend, or a mental health professional. Sharing their concerns can help alleviate some of the emotional burden and provide them with strategies to cope.

4. Communicate with the Individual’s Family: If your friend feels comfortable, they might consider reaching out to the family of the individual who is harassing them. This can be a delicate situation, as your friend may not want to hurt the feelings of the individual or their family. However, it is important to communicate the impact that the harassment is having on their life. The family may not be aware of the extent of the situation and could potentially intervene to help manage their loved one’s behavior.

5. Involve Authorities if Necessary: If the harassment continues or escalates, it may be necessary to involve local authorities. This could mean filing a report with the police or seeking a restraining order. Your friend should prioritize their safety and well-being, and if they feel threatened, it’s important to take appropriate action.

6. Consider Professional Help: It may be beneficial for your friend and their family to seek counseling or therapy. A mental health professional can provide them with coping strategies to deal with the stress and anxiety caused by the situation. They can also help your friend process their feelings and develop a plan to manage the harassment.

7. Practice Self-Care: Encourage your friend to engage in self-care activities that promote relaxation and well-being. This could include exercise, meditation, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends and family. Taking care of their mental health is essential during this stressful time.

8. Educate Themselves About Mental Illness: Understanding the nature of mental illness can help your friend approach the situation with empathy. It’s important to recognize that the individual may not fully understand the impact of their actions due to their mental health condition. This knowledge can help your friend navigate the situation with compassion while still protecting their own well-being.

In conclusion, your friend is not alone in feeling overwhelmed by this situation. It’s essential for them to prioritize their safety and mental health while also considering the complexities of the individual’s mental illness. By setting boundaries, seeking support, and potentially involving the individual’s family, your friend can take steps to manage the harassment effectively. If the situation escalates, involving authorities may be necessary to ensure their safety. Ultimately, seeking professional help for themselves can provide your friend with the tools they need to cope with this challenging experience.

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