Struggling with Insomnia: Coping with Stress and Mental Health Challenges - Psychiatry

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Insomnia


I can't sleep.
Last July, my husband was hospitalized and spent a month and three days in the intensive care unit before being transferred to a regular ward.
During that time, I couldn't eat or sleep; I just cried every day, only managing to sleep about four hours a night.
I had to take my eldest child to and from school, care for my younger child, and visit the hospital daily.
It wasn't until a month and a half later that he was discharged.
Even now, I still only sleep four hours a night, and I can't seem to sleep longer or better.
I feel so exhausted.

Xuan, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/04/08

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry


Hello, high levels of stress can lead to physical and mental imbalances, especially when a spouse is seriously ill and one suddenly has to shoulder the entire family's responsibilities.
Most wives would react similarly to your situation.
Often, even after a stressful event has ended, its impact on our mental and physical well-being can linger, much like ripples in a pond after a stone is thrown.
The grief from the loss of a loved one can last for several months, which is a good example.

I am not sure about your husband's current recovery status, but I recommend accepting the present circumstances.
Try not to compare or reminisce about the good old days, as this can make it easier for your emotions to stabilize.
Given the current limitations, prioritize urgent and important matters first, and for less critical issues, consider lowering your standards a bit to avoid exhausting yourself.

Insufficient sleep can also affect your mental recovery.
I suggest seeking medical advice for short-term medication to help quickly adjust your mental and physical state.
It seems you have been trying to cope for a while now, so it might be best to let a professional assist you.

Wishing you all the best,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2016/04/08

More Info


It sounds like you have been through an incredibly challenging and stressful time, especially with your husband’s hospitalization and the responsibilities of caring for your children during that period. The symptoms you are experiencing—insomnia, lack of appetite, and overwhelming fatigue—are common responses to prolonged stress and emotional distress.
When we face significant life events, such as a loved one being seriously ill, our bodies can react in various ways. Stress can lead to a range of physical and psychological symptoms, including insomnia. The body’s stress response can disrupt sleep patterns, making it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep. This is often compounded by anxiety about the situation, which can create a cycle of worry and sleeplessness.

Your description of only being able to sleep for about four hours a night, despite wanting to sleep more, indicates that your body is likely in a heightened state of alertness due to stress. This can be a result of the body’s fight-or-flight response being activated, which is common in situations of acute stress. Additionally, the emotional toll of crying and worrying can further exhaust you, making it even harder to find restful sleep.

Here are some strategies that may help you cope with your insomnia and the stress you are experiencing:
1. Establish a Sleep Routine: Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. This can help regulate your body’s internal clock.

2. Create a Relaxing Bedtime Environment: Make your bedroom a calming space. This includes keeping the room dark, quiet, and cool. Consider using earplugs or a white noise machine if noise is a problem.

3. Limit Stimulants: Avoid caffeine and nicotine, especially in the hours leading up to bedtime. These substances can interfere with your ability to fall asleep.

4. Practice Relaxation Techniques: Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or gentle yoga can help calm your mind and prepare your body for sleep. Even a few minutes of mindfulness can make a difference.

5. Talk About Your Feelings: Sharing your feelings with a trusted friend or family member can provide emotional relief. Sometimes, just expressing what you’re going through can lighten the burden.

6. Seek Professional Help: If your insomnia persists, it may be beneficial to consult a healthcare professional. They can help assess your situation and may recommend therapy or medication to help manage your symptoms.

7. Physical Activity: Regular physical activity can help reduce stress and improve sleep quality. Even a short walk during the day can be beneficial.

8. Nutrition: Eating a balanced diet can also impact your mood and energy levels. Try to incorporate nutritious foods that can help stabilize your mood and energy.

9. Limit Screen Time Before Bed: The blue light emitted by phones, tablets, and computers can interfere with your ability to fall asleep. Try to limit screen time at least an hour before bed.

10. Be Kind to Yourself: Understand that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Allow yourself to grieve and process your emotions. Healing takes time, and it’s important to be patient with yourself.

In conclusion, the combination of stress from your husband’s illness and the responsibilities of parenting can understandably lead to insomnia and fatigue. It’s crucial to address both the emotional and physical aspects of your well-being. Seeking support from professionals, whether through therapy or medical advice, can provide you with the tools you need to cope with this challenging time. Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are resources available to help you navigate through your struggles.

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