Suppressed for a long time, emotions erupted?
I have been uninterested in everything for nearly two months.
I am studying for a master's degree at a certain school...
During these two months, my weight has fluctuated, and I have gradually been eating less or not having regular meals.
Every day, I wear a frown, and I am considering dropping out, but the people around me want me to continue.
I have heard enough of their opinions and don’t want to hear any more.
I am gradually losing interest in going to school, and now, whether I am going to school or coming back, I feel a tightness in my chest and have difficulty breathing, often sighing.
I am also becoming increasingly withdrawn and yesterday, I suddenly had an emotional outburst...
I didn’t want to go to school in the morning, but my mom forced me to go.
As a result, I went to buy a utility knife, feeling that having it nearby would provide me with some comfort.
In middle school, I used to self-harm and would often cut my fingers with a utility knife to feel pain, but I stopped after graduating.
When I got home yesterday, my mom kept nagging me about school, and I suddenly lost control of my actions and body, as if a long-suppressed emotion erupted.
I started banging on the table with my hands, shouting and crying.
I hit my hands until they were red and swollen, but I kept banging on the table, breathing rapidly, feeling tightness in my chest and unable to breathe, feeling very sad, as if I had gone crazy.
My body was shaking and trembling, unable to calm down...
What should I do? Right now, I don’t want to go to school or see anyone from school.
I don’t want to talk; I just want to sleep and rest.
Every day, I wear a frown...
I can’t even smile...
Is it because I tend to suppress my emotions? I had similar episodes a few years ago, and this is not the first time it has happened!
1023, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/04/28
Dr. Su Zongwei reply Psychiatry
It may be an emotional issue; please visit a psychiatric outpatient clinic for further evaluation.
Reply Date: 2016/04/28
More Info
It sounds like you are experiencing a very challenging time with your mental health, and I want to acknowledge the distress and overwhelming emotions you are feeling. Your situation is not uncommon among students, especially those in high-pressure environments like graduate school. The feelings of disinterest, fluctuations in weight, difficulty in maintaining a regular eating schedule, and the physical symptoms such as chest tightness and shortness of breath are all significant indicators that you may be struggling with anxiety and depression.
Firstly, it’s important to understand that mental health issues can manifest in various ways, and your experiences are valid. The fact that you are feeling overwhelmed and have had emotional outbursts, such as crying and feeling the need to self-harm, suggests that you are under a considerable amount of stress. It’s not unusual for students to feel pressure from academic expectations, and this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness, especially if you feel like you are not meeting those expectations.
The urge to self-harm, even if it has not been present for a while, is a serious concern. It is often a way to cope with emotional pain or to exert some control over feelings that seem overwhelming. However, it is crucial to find healthier coping mechanisms. Engaging in self-harm can lead to a cycle of negative emotions and does not address the underlying issues you are facing.
Given your symptoms, it would be beneficial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide you with the support and tools you need to navigate these feelings. Therapy can be a safe space to explore your emotions, understand the triggers for your distress, and develop coping strategies. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for anxiety and depression, as it helps individuals reframe negative thought patterns and develop healthier responses to stress.
In addition to therapy, consider reaching out to trusted friends or family members about what you are going through. It can be incredibly helpful to have a support system in place, even if it feels difficult to talk about your feelings. Sometimes, just knowing that someone is there to listen can alleviate some of the burden.
You mentioned feeling pressured by those around you to continue your studies, but it’s essential to prioritize your mental health. If you feel that taking a break from school could help you regain your footing, it’s worth considering. Academic institutions often have resources for students struggling with mental health, including counseling services and academic accommodations.
In the meantime, try to incorporate small self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include regular physical activity, which has been shown to improve mood, practicing mindfulness or meditation to help manage anxiety, and ensuring you are getting enough rest. Even small changes, like setting a regular sleep schedule or engaging in activities you once enjoyed, can make a difference.
Lastly, if you ever feel like you are in crisis or have thoughts of self-harm, please seek immediate help. Many resources are available, including hotlines and emergency services, that can provide support in urgent situations.
In summary, you are not alone in this struggle, and there is help available. Taking the first step to reach out for support can be daunting, but it is a crucial part of the healing process. Prioritize your mental health, and remember that it’s okay to ask for help.
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