Am I Showing Signs of Anorexia? My Weight Concerns - Psychiatry

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Based on your description, it seems you are experiencing a complex relationship with food and body image, which can be indicative of disordered eating patterns. Your height of 171 cm and weight of 49.2 kg give you a Body Mass Index (BMI) of approximately 16.8, which is classified as underweight. While you mentioned that you have always been on the lighter side and have struggled to gain weight, the recent fluctuations in your weight, particularly the drop to 45 kg and the subsequent rise to 49 kg, alongside your concerns about caloric intake, suggest that you may be grappling with anxiety related to your body image and eating habits.

Anorexia nervosa is characterized by an intense fear of gaining weight, a distorted body image, and restrictive eating behaviors. While you have not engaged in purging behaviors, your preoccupation with weight and feelings of guilt after eating certain foods can be concerning. The fact that you are experiencing emotional instability and have had a significant drop in weight, leading to amenorrhea (the absence of menstruation), further complicates your situation. These symptoms can be associated with various eating disorders, including anorexia and other forms of disordered eating.

It's important to note that disordered eating can manifest in many forms, and not all individuals with disordered eating meet the full criteria for anorexia nervosa. Your feelings of guilt and failure after eating more than you believe you should, along with your heightened awareness of caloric intake, indicate a potential struggle with food-related anxiety. This can lead to a cycle of restriction and bingeing, where the fear of weight gain drives you to limit your intake, but the emotional distress leads to increased cravings and consumption.

Given your history of being underweight and the recent changes in your eating patterns and emotional state, it is crucial to seek professional help. A registered dietitian or a mental health professional specializing in eating disorders can provide you with the support and guidance you need. They can help you develop a healthier relationship with food, address any underlying emotional issues, and create a balanced eating plan that meets your nutritional needs without causing anxiety.

In addition to professional support, consider the following strategies to help manage your concerns:
1. Mindful Eating: Practice being present during meals. Focus on the taste, texture, and enjoyment of food rather than the caloric content. This can help reduce anxiety around eating.

2. Balanced Nutrition: Aim for a balanced diet that includes a variety of food groups. This can help ensure you are getting the necessary nutrients without fixating on specific calories.

3. Emotional Support: Engage with friends or family members who can provide emotional support. Sharing your feelings can help alleviate some of the burdens you are carrying.

4. Physical Activity: While exercise can be beneficial, ensure that it is not driven by a desire to control weight. Engage in activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good, rather than those that feel obligatory.

5. Journaling: Keeping a food and mood journal can help you identify patterns in your eating habits and emotional states. This can be a useful tool to discuss with a therapist or dietitian.

6. Professional Guidance: As mentioned, seeking help from a healthcare provider who specializes in eating disorders can provide you with tailored strategies and support.

In conclusion, while you may not exhibit all the classic signs of anorexia nervosa, your concerns about weight, food intake, and emotional well-being suggest that you could benefit from professional support. Addressing these issues early on can help you develop a healthier relationship with food and your body, ultimately leading to improved physical and mental health.