Overcoming Anxiety and Shyness in New Environments: A Mental Health Perspective

Excessive shyness and anxiety in unfamiliar environments?

I often feel anxious when facing strangers or new environments, and I am very concerned about others' opinions.
When guests come to my home, I tend to shyly retreat to my room.
During my college years, I dreaded the start of new classes, fearing group activities.
Sometimes, when I had to express my thoughts within a group, I felt so anxious that I wanted to cry.
When presenting on stage, I would practice my speech thoroughly, but once I saw my classmates, I would become so nervous that my mind would go blank, and I would forget everything I intended to say.
As a result, I needed notes to assist me.
If I had to speak spontaneously, I could only manage to say two short sentences that I could remember.
In my daily life, I find it difficult to enter trendy salons or expensive stores, such as department store counters or upscale clothing shops, because I feel like the staff is judging me.
I worry that they think I can't afford to shop there.
When buying something, I also fear that the owner won't acknowledge me, that they won't hear me when I try to place an order, and I worry about ordering incorrectly.
I'm concerned that other customers will find me ridiculous.

In addition to feeling anxious in the moment, I constantly worry about future events that haven't happened yet, often anticipating negative outcomes, which leads me to avoid facing reality and not doing what I need to do.
This is very distressing for me, especially as I am about to enter the workforce, and I feel extremely scared! Am I just generally shy, or do I have some kind of mental health issue?

Ci Ci, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/05/05

Dr. Zhang Gengjia reply Psychiatry

Dear Sir/Madam,
The issue you mentioned seems, on the surface, to be a lack of self-confidence.
However, living in this world often brings about a persistent pressure that echoes a voice deep within, saying, "Not enough, not enough; you haven't done enough." I hope this voice can guide you to overcome the weaknesses and downfalls of being human.
To respond more powerfully to this voice, one must continuously transcend and progress.
The value of a person is not measured by how much money they can earn or how famous they can become, but rather by their contributions to society and the nation.
A janitor is not inferior to a president.
If one is fortunate enough to engage in a noble profession, they should strive even harder.
However, to balance other ideals in life, there is a responsibility to become a better person.
Trust and doubt are not necessarily at opposite extremes; often, they exist along a thin dividing line.
A person who constantly reflects on their position and doubts themselves can channel that energy in the right direction to achieve continuous improvement.
The distinction between inferiority and transcendence often lies in a single thought.
Wishing you peace, joy, and well-being.
Our clinic has outpatient registration hours from Monday to Friday, both in the morning and afternoon, until 11:30 AM and 4:30 PM, respectively.
For consultation, please call 06-2795019 ext 1106 or 1107.
We welcome your visit and wish you mental and physical well-being.
Sincerely,
Dr.
Cheng Kung-Chia
General Psychiatry

Reply Date: 2016/05/05

More Info

It's completely understandable to feel anxious and shy in new environments, especially when facing unfamiliar people or situations. Many individuals experience similar feelings, particularly during significant life transitions, such as starting college or entering the workforce. Your concerns about how others perceive you, the fear of making mistakes, and the tendency to avoid social situations are common manifestations of social anxiety.

Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is characterized by an intense fear of social situations where one may be judged or scrutinized by others. This can lead to avoidance behaviors, such as hiding from guests at home or feeling overwhelmed in group activities. It's important to recognize that while shyness is a normal personality trait, when it begins to interfere with daily functioning and causes significant distress, it may be indicative of a more serious issue, such as social anxiety disorder.

Your experiences of feeling nervous before presentations, forgetting what you wanted to say, and needing notes to help you speak in front of others are all signs of anxiety. The fear of being judged by peers or feeling out of place in social settings can exacerbate these feelings. It's also common to worry about future events and to anticipate negative outcomes, which can lead to avoidance and a cycle of anxiety.

Here are some strategies that may help you manage your anxiety and shyness:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This is a highly effective treatment for social anxiety. CBT helps you identify and challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs about yourself and social situations. A therapist can guide you through exposure exercises, gradually helping you face your fears in a controlled and supportive environment.

2. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anxiety symptoms. These techniques encourage you to focus on the present moment and can help calm your mind before social interactions.

3. Gradual Exposure: Start small by exposing yourself to social situations that cause you anxiety. For example, practice speaking to a cashier or making small talk with a classmate. Gradually increase the complexity of these interactions as you become more comfortable.

4. Positive Self-Talk: Challenge negative thoughts about yourself and replace them with positive affirmations. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and that it's okay to feel nervous. Focus on your strengths and past successes.

5. Join Support Groups: Connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide a sense of community and understanding. Support groups can offer a safe space to share your feelings and learn from others.

6. Seek Professional Help: If your anxiety is significantly impacting your daily life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. They can provide a proper diagnosis and develop a personalized treatment plan that may include therapy or medication.

7. Set Realistic Goals: Instead of aiming for perfection, set achievable goals for yourself in social situations. Celebrate small victories, such as initiating a conversation or participating in a group discussion.

8. Educate Yourself: Understanding anxiety and its effects can empower you to take control of your feelings. Reading books or attending workshops on social skills and anxiety management can be beneficial.

It's essential to remember that you're not alone in this struggle, and many people experience similar feelings of anxiety and shyness. Taking proactive steps to address these feelings can lead to significant improvements in your quality of life. If you find that your anxiety persists or worsens, don't hesitate to reach out for professional support. You deserve to feel confident and comfortable in social situations, and with the right tools and support, you can achieve that.

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We recommend that you visit the outpatient department at http://www.bali.doh.gov.tw/hours/94-11OPD.asp.