How to Handle Your Child Being Bitten by a Classmate - Psychiatry

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Toddler biting?


Hello, I have a question: My daughter has been in kindergarten for six months, and this year a new student joined who has been exhibiting biting behavior for less than two months.
Within a week, this child bit my daughter twice in a row, and only my daughter, not anyone else.
What should I do?

bacj, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/05/20

Dr. Song Chengxian reply Psychiatry


Hello: Kindergartens have the responsibility to ensure the safety of every child and should report any issues to the teachers for them to address problematic behavior.
If the kindergarten is unable to protect the children's safety, should one consider choosing a better environment? Dr.
Song

Reply Date: 2016/05/20

More Info


When dealing with a situation where your child is being bitten by a classmate, it is essential to approach the matter with a combination of understanding, communication, and proactive measures. Here are some steps you can take to handle this situation effectively:
1. Stay Calm and Assess the Situation: First and foremost, it’s important to remain calm. Children can pick up on their parents' emotions, and showing distress may exacerbate the situation. Take a moment to assess the circumstances surrounding the bites. Was there a specific trigger? Understanding the context can help you address the issue more effectively.

2. Communicate with Your Child: Talk to your daughter about what happened. Encourage her to express her feelings and thoughts regarding the biting incidents. It’s crucial for her to feel heard and understood. Ask her how she felt during and after the incidents, and reassure her that it’s not her fault. This can help her process her emotions and feel more secure.

3. Inform the Teacher or Caregiver: It is vital to communicate with your child’s teacher or caregiver about the biting incidents. They have a responsibility to ensure the safety and well-being of all children in their care. Provide them with specific details about the incidents, including when and where they occurred. This will enable them to monitor the situation more closely and intervene if necessary.

4. Encourage Positive Social Interactions: Help your daughter develop positive social skills. Role-playing different scenarios can be beneficial. Teach her how to express her feelings verbally and how to assertively tell the other child that biting is not acceptable. Encouraging her to use her words instead of physical reactions can empower her and reduce the likelihood of future incidents.

5. Monitor the New Classmate: The new classmate may be struggling with their own issues, such as anxiety or difficulty adjusting to a new environment. It’s important to understand that biting can sometimes be a sign of distress or a lack of social skills. The teacher should be made aware of this behavior so they can provide appropriate support to the child as well.

6. Consider Alternative Solutions: If the biting continues despite intervention from the school, you may need to consider alternative solutions. This could include discussing with the school about potential changes in classroom arrangements or even exploring other preschool options if you feel that your daughter’s safety is at risk.

7. Reinforce Positive Behavior: Whenever your daughter handles a situation well, such as using her words to express herself or walking away from a conflict, reinforce this behavior with praise. Positive reinforcement can encourage her to continue using these strategies in the future.

8. Seek Professional Help if Necessary: If the situation does not improve or if your daughter shows signs of anxiety or distress as a result of the biting incidents, it may be beneficial to seek advice from a child psychologist or counselor. They can provide strategies and support for both your child and your family.

In conclusion, handling a situation where your child is being bitten by a classmate requires a thoughtful approach that includes communication, collaboration with educators, and support for your child’s emotional well-being. By taking these steps, you can help ensure that your daughter feels safe and supported in her learning environment.

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