and Managing Toddler Biting Behavior: Tips for Parents

Toddlers have a habit of biting?

My son is currently 2 years and 2 months old, and his language and physical development are both normal.
His teachers say he is very smart and learns quickly, and he has a sociable personality.
Since he was about 18 months old, he has frequently bitten other children at school.
Sometimes this occurs when he is trying to take a toy or during pushing, but other times he will bite simply because a classmate walks past him.
When he bites, he does so with considerable force and sometimes pulls, which can cause other children to get skin abrasions.

At home, this behavior happens less frequently, but it does occur occasionally.
He tends to bite when he is overly excited, when he is upset and crying without effect, or when we are blocking him from doing something (Example 1).
Sometimes he bites for no apparent reason (Example 2).
He also occasionally bites items like water bottle straws, towels, or dolls, especially after bath time.
It seems he has developed a habit of "biting" as a way to express his emotions (whether happy or angry), out of boredom, or as a way to initiate play.

His teachers have tried massaging his mouth, encouraging him to engage in physical activities to expend energy, keeping a closer watch on him, and repeatedly telling him that he cannot bite others because it hurts them.
They have suggested that if someone takes a toy, he can say, "Teacher, please help," but despite these efforts over the past six months, there has been no improvement.

At home, when he bites, I have tried counseling him, using a gentle reprimand, and employing a cold treatment approach.
Once, I was so frustrated that I bit him back, but nothing has worked.
His teachers are quite troubled by this behavior and are unsure how to address it.

Example 1: He woke up in the middle of the night feeling too hot and wanted to sleep on the other side of the bed, but I blocked him and told him he might fall.
He wanted to sleep but got angry, and when crying didn’t help, he attempted to bite my hand that was blocking him.

Example 2: While playing the small piano with him, he was neither upset nor overly excited, yet suddenly he tried to bite my hand that was playing the piano.

Ms. Wu, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2023/05/09

Dr. Li Guanying reply Psychiatry

From your letter, it is clear that you are experiencing discomfort and distress due to the pressure of having a young child who has a habit of biting.
However, the aspect of child development requires a personal evaluation.
Please bring your child to see a doctor and discuss this matter thoroughly with them.
Our clinic is open for consultations from Monday to Friday, both in the morning and afternoon.
We recommend that you consider bringing your child in for a doctor to personally assess the symptoms and collaboratively discuss the best course of action for you.
Wishing you good health and well-being.

Reply Date: 2023/05/09

More Info

Understanding and managing toddler biting behavior can be quite challenging for parents, especially when it seems to be a habitual response to various emotions or situations. Your son, at 2 years and 2 months, is at a developmental stage where he is exploring his environment and testing boundaries, which can sometimes manifest as biting. Here are some insights and strategies to help address this behavior.

Understanding the Behavior
1. Developmental Stage: Toddlers are naturally curious and often lack the verbal skills to express their feelings. Biting can be a way for them to communicate frustration, excitement, or even a desire for attention. It’s important to recognize that this behavior is not uncommon at this age.

2. Emotional Expression: As you noted, your son bites when he is excited, angry, or even bored. This suggests that he may be using biting as a way to express a range of emotions. It’s crucial to help him find alternative ways to express these feelings.

3. Attention-Seeking: Sometimes, toddlers bite to get a reaction from adults or peers. If biting leads to a significant response, even if it’s negative, it may reinforce the behavior.

4. Sensory Exploration: Biting objects like straws, towels, or toys can also be a sensory exploration activity. Toddlers often explore the world through their mouths, and this can sometimes extend to biting people.

Strategies for Parents
1. Model Appropriate Behavior: Demonstrate how to express feelings verbally. For instance, when your son is upset, encourage him to use words like "mad" or "sad" instead of resorting to biting. You can say, “I see you’re upset. Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
2. Provide Alternatives: Offer appropriate items for him to bite, such as teething toys or soft objects. This can help satisfy his need to chew without harming others.

3. Positive Reinforcement: Praise your son when he uses words or other methods to express himself instead of biting. Reinforcement can encourage him to repeat the desired behavior.

4. Set Clear Boundaries: Consistently communicate that biting is not acceptable. Use simple language to explain that biting hurts others and that he can express his feelings in other ways. For example, you can say, “No biting. We use our words.”
5. Redirect Attention: If you notice your son becoming overly excited or frustrated, try to redirect his attention to a different activity before he resorts to biting. Engaging him in a calming activity can help diffuse the situation.

6. Teach Empathy: Help him understand the impact of his actions on others. You can say, “Look, your friend is crying because you bit him. Let’s help him feel better.” This can foster empathy and understanding.

7. Communicate with Caregivers: Since this behavior is also occurring at school, maintain open communication with his teachers. Collaborate on strategies that can be consistently applied both at home and in the classroom.

8. Seek Professional Guidance: If the biting persists despite your efforts, consider consulting a pediatrician or child psychologist. They can provide tailored strategies and assess if there are underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Conclusion
Biting in toddlers can be a complex behavior rooted in various developmental factors. By understanding the reasons behind your son’s biting and implementing consistent strategies, you can help him learn more appropriate ways to express his emotions. Remember, patience and consistency are key. It may take time, but with your support and guidance, he can learn to navigate his feelings without resorting to biting.

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