Overcoming Disturbing Thoughts: A Guide for Mental Health Support

Daydreaming

Hello, doctor.
Please help me.
I used to be a girl who loved to fantasize and believed in deities and spirits.
I enjoyed imagining myself as a hero with superpowers, and those were mostly positive fantasies.
However, over the past year, I don't know why I've started to fantasize about my family encountering misfortune, being haunted by spirits, and even imagining myself harming my family.
I'm really afraid that one day I might sleepwalk and actually hurt my parents.
I don't want my fantasies to come true; I really don't want to think this way.
But every time, I find myself unable to control these thoughts.
My family has always treated me well, and I don't understand why I have these irrational ideas.
Regarding deities, I used to respect them greatly.
I would pray to them both at home and outside, hoping for their protection over my family.
Yet in recent years, I've fantasized about desecrating idols (both my own and others') and imagined that the deities would abandon me, leading to my family being attacked by spirits, or that the deities would no longer pay attention to me, and I would sleepwalk and harm my parents.
I believe that as long as the deities are with me, I won't act out.
I don't know why I have these thoughts.
My family and the deities are the most important things in my life, yet now I'm thinking about these chaotic things, and I'm really scared that my fantasies might happen.
I haven't told anyone about this.
Every day is painful for me, and I feel like I will eventually suffer from a mental breakdown.
I've cried several times, but the fantasies persist.
This has been troubling me for nearly a year and a half.
You might think I'm foolish and unworthy of help, but please don't ignore my problem.
I'm begging you.
I know these fantasies are really bad, but I can't seem to stop them.
I'm afraid to bring this up with my family or friends because I worry it would make them sad.
I also don't have enough money to see a doctor.

Ms. Li, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/06/02

Dr. Zhong Mingxun reply Psychiatry

In the past year, I have started to fantasize about my family encountering misfortune, being haunted by ghosts, and even imagining myself harming my family.
These thoughts represent your inner anxiety and fear, but they do not mean that you will actually harm your family, as your sense of reality remains intact, allowing you to distinguish between fantasy and reality.
Talking to someone you trust can help you express your emotions.
For a more fundamental approach, it is best to seek psychological therapy.
You might also consider practicing self-awareness to discover what in your life triggers feelings of fear and anger.
If possible, I recommend keeping a journal to document your feelings and the situations you encounter.
When you look back after some time, you may discover aspects of yourself that you had not previously recognized.

Reply Date: 2016/06/02

More Info

It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, and I want to assure you that your feelings and experiences are valid. The intrusive thoughts and disturbing fantasies you are experiencing can be distressing, especially when they conflict with your values and the love you have for your family. It's important to understand that you are not alone in this; many people experience similar thoughts, and there are ways to cope with them.

Firstly, it’s crucial to recognize that having unwanted thoughts does not mean you will act on them. Many individuals experience what are known as intrusive thoughts, which can be distressing and seem out of character. These thoughts can range from fears of harming loved ones to worries about losing control. The key is understanding that these thoughts are not a reflection of your true desires or intentions. They are often a product of anxiety, stress, or even changes in your mental state.

You mentioned that you used to have positive fantasies and beliefs, which indicates that you have a strong foundation of hope and positivity. The shift towards negative thoughts could be linked to various factors, including stress, anxiety, or even changes in your life circumstances. It’s essential to explore these feelings further, as they may be tied to underlying issues that need addressing.

Here are some strategies that may help you manage these intrusive thoughts:
1. Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay present and reduce anxiety. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or grounding exercises can help you focus on the here and now, rather than getting lost in distressing thoughts. When you notice an intrusive thought, try to acknowledge it without judgment and gently redirect your focus to your breath or your surroundings.

2. Cognitive Behavioral Techniques: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a well-established method for managing intrusive thoughts. It involves identifying negative thought patterns and challenging them. For example, if you have a thought about harming your family, you can counter it by reminding yourself of your love for them and the fact that these thoughts do not reflect your true self.

3. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts can be a therapeutic way to process what you’re feeling. You can express your fears and anxieties on paper, which may help you gain clarity and reduce their power over you. It can also be a safe space to explore your feelings about your family and your beliefs.

4. Limit Exposure to Triggers: If certain situations or media (like horror movies or distressing news) trigger these thoughts, it might be helpful to limit your exposure to them. Instead, engage in activities that promote positivity and joy.

5. Seek Support: While you mentioned concerns about discussing this with family or friends, finding someone to talk to can be incredibly beneficial. This could be a trusted friend, a support group, or even an online community where you can share your experiences anonymously. If financial constraints are a concern, many communities offer low-cost or sliding-scale mental health services.

6. Professional Help: If your thoughts continue to distress you, seeking help from a mental health professional is highly recommended. They can provide you with tailored strategies and support. Many therapists offer sliding scale fees based on income, and some community organizations provide free or low-cost services.

7. Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Understand that experiencing these thoughts does not define who you are. It’s okay to seek help and to express your feelings. Remember that you are deserving of support and understanding.

In conclusion, while it may feel overwhelming right now, there are ways to manage these intrusive thoughts. You have already taken a significant step by reaching out for help, and I encourage you to continue seeking support. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are people and resources available to help you navigate through these challenging times.

Similar Q&A

Understanding Disturbing Thoughts: Coping with Mental Health Struggles

Hello Doctor, I previously inquired about the subsequent developments for someone with PTSD. Due to certain circumstances, my father is no longer coming back, so I temporarily no longer have that concern. A few months have passed since then, and everything seemed normal, but rece...

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry
Hello, when faced with uncontrollable thoughts that keep arising, our first reaction is often to reject them. In fact, while these thoughts may be uncomfortable, it is our interpretation of these thoughts and the subsequent feelings of aversion that increase our suffering. Since ...

Understanding Intrusive Thoughts: Seeking Help for Mental Health Concerns

Hello, I have been experiencing frequent thoughts of cursing and harming my family. I have tried many methods to distract myself, but nothing seems to work. I am very afraid that these thoughts might eventually lead to actions. Do I have a mental health issue, and what can I do t...

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry
Hello: Due to the limited information provided, it is difficult to assess the situation. However, it is not uncommon for individuals to experience some negative thoughts. If attempts to redirect these thoughts are unsuccessful and they cause physical and mental distress, it would...

Understanding Intrusive Thoughts: Coping with Mental Health Challenges

Hello Doctor, my husband has been experiencing these issues for a long time, but he only opened up to me about his emotional struggles after we got married. Recently, he had another episode, which he described as the most severe one yet. He often hears disturbing thoughts in his ...

Dr. Lin Niqi reply Psychiatry
Hello, you mentioned that your husband's mental condition has significantly affected his daily life, which necessitates medical treatment. As for the cause, diagnosis, and treatment methods, these can only be confirmed through a consultation with the patient. Therefore, plea...

Struggling with Uncontrollable Thoughts: Seeking Help for Mental Health Issues

Hello, doctor. For the past two years, I have been experiencing urges to secretly observe my male friends' genitals, and sometimes I even touch them while they are asleep. I frequently have sexual fantasies about this. I am unsure how to handle these thoughts; I can't c...

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry
Hello: It is recommended to shift your focus to other interests or activities. When these thoughts arise again, try not to panic or be overly concerned; simply refrain from acting on them, as thoughts in your mind cannot harm your friends. Reading, exercising, listening to music,...