Struggling with Uncontrollable Thoughts: Seeking Help for Mental Health Issues - Psychiatry

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I have been troubled by something for a long time?


Hello, doctor.
For the past two years, I have been experiencing urges to secretly observe my male friends' genitals, and sometimes I even touch them while they are asleep.
I frequently have sexual fantasies about this.
I am unsure how to handle these thoughts; I can't control them, but I don't want to act on them and hurt my friends.
Recently, these feelings have led me to have suicidal thoughts, although I am too afraid to act on them.
Is this considered a mental illness? What should I do?

XX, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/11/20

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello: It is recommended to shift your focus to other interests or activities.
When these thoughts arise again, try not to panic or be overly concerned; simply refrain from acting on them, as thoughts in your mind cannot harm your friends.
Reading, exercising, listening to music, and engaging in creative activities are all effective ways to redirect your attention.
However, if you continue to feel troubled or experience persistent low mood, it is advisable to seek medical assistance.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2016/11/20

More Info


It's important to acknowledge that you're facing a very challenging situation, and seeking help is a crucial first step. The thoughts and urges you're experiencing can be distressing and may indicate underlying mental health issues that need to be addressed. It's commendable that you recognize the potential harm these thoughts could cause to your friends and that you want to avoid acting on them.

From a psychological perspective, the intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors you're describing could be related to a variety of mental health conditions, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), paraphilic disorders, or other anxiety-related disorders. These conditions can manifest as unwanted thoughts that are difficult to control, leading to significant distress and impairment in daily functioning. The fact that you're experiencing suicidal thoughts is particularly concerning and indicates that you may be in a crisis situation that requires immediate attention.

Here are some steps you can take to address your situation:
1. Seek Professional Help: It's crucial to consult with a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. They can provide a thorough assessment of your symptoms and help determine an appropriate diagnosis. Therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), has been shown to be effective for managing intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. A therapist can work with you to develop coping strategies and techniques to manage these thoughts.

2. Avoid Isolation: It's common to feel ashamed or embarrassed about intrusive thoughts, but isolating yourself can worsen your mental health. Reach out to trusted friends or family members who can provide support. Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can help alleviate some of the burden you're carrying.

3. Develop Coping Strategies: While waiting for professional help, you can start practicing some coping strategies. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises or meditation, can help reduce anxiety and create a sense of calm. Journaling your thoughts can also be a helpful way to process your feelings and gain insight into your triggers.

4. Limit Exposure to Triggers: If certain situations or stimuli trigger your intrusive thoughts, try to limit your exposure to them as much as possible. This might mean avoiding certain environments or situations that exacerbate your urges.

5. Emergency Support: If you ever feel that your suicidal thoughts are becoming overwhelming or if you feel you might act on them, it's essential to seek immediate help. Contact a crisis hotline, go to the nearest emergency room, or reach out to a trusted individual who can assist you in getting the help you need.

6. Educate Yourself: Understanding more about mental health conditions can help demystify your experiences. There are many resources available, including books and reputable websites, that can provide information on managing intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors.

Remember, you are not alone in this struggle, and help is available. Taking the step to seek professional guidance is vital for your well-being. Your mental health is important, and with the right support and treatment, you can learn to manage these thoughts and lead a fulfilling life.

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