Struggling with Dark Thoughts: Seeking Help for Mental Health Challenges

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's very important that you talk

I am easily influenced by people and situations, and once I enter a low point, I shut myself off, with an extremely low emotional quotient (E.Q.).
I tend to overthink and often have suicidal thoughts.
However, at times, I can also be easily swayed by others' emotions and appear quite normal, which often leaves me feeling both amused and frustrated.
I have attempted to seek help from a psychiatrist but have hesitated to move forward.
Currently, I pray every day for a terminal illness, or that I could just die in my sleep, as I feel there is no future for me.
I am facing bankruptcy, and my husband is unable to improve our financial situation.
I can no longer hold on.
Sooner or later, I will definitely break down and stop caring about everything.

Chen, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2002/05/21

Dr. Tang Xinbei reply Psychiatry

Dear Ms.
Chen,
It seems that you are currently facing significant financial stress.
This pressure, combined with your tendency to view people and situations from a negative perspective, has led you to feel trapped in a low emotional state.
Such emotions can result in a pessimistic outlook on life and the future, leaving you feeling hopeless and believing that no one can help you, even leading to thoughts of self-harm.

How long have you been experiencing these emotional symptoms? If they have persisted for more than two weeks and are affecting your sleep, appetite, work, and interpersonal relationships, I recommend that you seek consultation with a psychiatrist.
A professional can provide an evaluation and necessary interventions.
If needed, you can visit hospitals affiliated with the Department of Health, particularly psychiatric specialty hospitals, including those in Bali, Taoyuan, Caotun, Chianan Psychiatric Hospital, and Yuli Hospital.
The staff at these facilities will provide you with comprehensive support.
Wishing you peace and joy!

Reply Date: 2002/05/21

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly difficult time, and I want to acknowledge the pain and distress you are experiencing. Your feelings of hopelessness, the dark thoughts, and the overwhelming emotions are serious and deserve attention. It’s important to know that you are not alone in this struggle, and there are ways to seek help and support.

Firstly, it’s crucial to understand that experiencing dark thoughts and feelings of despair can be symptoms of underlying mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety. These conditions can distort your perception of reality, making it seem as though there is no way out of your current situation. The fact that you are aware of your emotional state and are seeking help is a significant first step. It shows that you have the capacity for self-reflection, which is essential in the healing process.

You mentioned that you often feel influenced by others' emotions, which can be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, being empathetic allows you to connect with others, but on the other hand, it can lead to emotional exhaustion and confusion about your own feelings. This emotional rollercoaster can be exhausting, especially when you are already feeling low. It’s important to establish boundaries and find ways to protect your emotional well-being. This might involve limiting your exposure to negative influences or finding supportive individuals who can uplift you.

Regarding your thoughts of wanting to escape your current reality, it’s vital to address these feelings seriously. The desire to not wake up or to wish for a terminal illness is a sign of deep emotional pain. It’s essential to talk to a mental health professional about these thoughts. While you mentioned hesitance in seeking psychiatric help, I encourage you to reconsider. Mental health professionals are trained to help individuals navigate these feelings and can provide you with coping strategies and support tailored to your situation.

You also expressed concerns about financial issues and the pressure they bring. Financial stress can significantly impact mental health, leading to feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness. It’s important to remember that financial difficulties are common, and many people experience them at some point in their lives. Seeking financial advice or support can be a proactive step in alleviating some of this burden. There are often community resources available that can help you manage financial stress, such as counseling services or financial planning workshops.

In terms of self-care, finding small ways to nurture yourself can be beneficial. This might include engaging in activities that bring you joy, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or even simple things like taking a walk outside. Physical activity can be a powerful tool for improving mood and reducing anxiety. It’s also important to reach out to friends or family members who you trust and can talk to about your feelings. Sometimes, just sharing your thoughts can lighten the emotional load.

Lastly, if you ever feel that you are in immediate danger or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help immediately. You can contact a crisis hotline or go to the nearest emergency room. Your life is valuable, and there are people who care and want to help you through this.

In summary, while it may feel overwhelming right now, there are paths to healing and support available to you. Please consider reaching out to a mental health professional, exploring community resources, and practicing self-care. You deserve to feel better and to find hope in your life again.

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