Why Is My Boyfriend So Hard to Wake Up? Sleep Issues

My boyfriend is hard to wake up when he's sleeping?

Hello, doctor.
My boyfriend is a 23-year-old hairstylist from Hong Kong.
He has a heavy workload and faces significant pressure from clients and peers.
Additionally, he commutes by subway, which leaves him completely exhausted by the time he gets home.
However, his lifestyle habits are not great; he tends to stay up late playing video games until 2 or 3 AM after dinner.
Strangely, despite being extremely tired from work all day, he finds it difficult to fall asleep.
Once he does manage to sleep, he struggles to wake up.
Due to the distance between us, I can't physically wake him up or use other methods; I can only continuously call him on Skype, Line, and various messaging apps, turning the volume up to the maximum in hopes of waking him.
He also sets traditional alarms and phone alarms, but they still don't work.
Even if he goes to bed early and falls asleep easily, he still has trouble waking up the next morning.
There was a time I called him from midnight until 5 PM the next day, and he still wouldn't wake up until his family finally did.
This situation is very concerning, and he has been late to work multiple times, receiving warnings from his boss.
I'm really worried that if this continues, it will significantly affect his life and work.
So, I would like to ask the doctor if there are any ways to improve this situation.
Why is he having such difficulty falling asleep and waking up? Should he see a doctor or seek other help?

LindaLin, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/06/03

Dr. Zhong Mingxun reply Psychiatry

Your boyfriend has unhealthy lifestyle habits that prevent his body from getting the adequate rest it needs.
As a result, he finds it difficult to wake up, despite being exhausted from working all day.
He struggles to fall asleep, likely due to engaging in stimulating activities like playing video games late at night after dinner, which keeps him in an excited state and makes it hard to sleep.
He should consider incorporating relaxing activities before bedtime to help him unwind and facilitate easier sleep.
Additionally, it’s important to understand his gaming habits and how they may fulfill certain emotional needs in his life.
Ultimately, the fundamental solution is to adjust his lifestyle and establish a regular routine.
If improvements are not seen, seeking medical assistance is advisable.

Reply Date: 2016/06/03

More Info

Your boyfriend's difficulty waking up, despite being exhausted from work, can be attributed to several factors related to his lifestyle and sleep patterns. Let's break down the potential causes and solutions.

Understanding Sleep Patterns
1. Sleep Quality vs. Sleep Quantity: It's essential to differentiate between the amount of sleep he gets and the quality of that sleep. Even if he sleeps for a long time, if the sleep is fragmented or not restorative, he may still feel tired upon waking. Factors such as stress, anxiety, and poor sleep hygiene can significantly affect sleep quality.

2. Circadian Rhythm Disruption: His habit of staying up late playing video games can disrupt his circadian rhythm, which is the body's natural sleep-wake cycle. This disruption can lead to difficulty falling asleep and waking up at the desired time. The blue light emitted by screens can also interfere with melatonin production, making it harder to fall asleep.

3. Sleep Disorders: Conditions like hypersomnia (excessive sleepiness) or sleep apnea could be contributing to his inability to wake up. Sleep apnea, in particular, can cause fragmented sleep due to breathing interruptions, leading to excessive daytime sleepiness.

Potential Solutions
1. Establish a Consistent Sleep Schedule: Encourage him to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends. This consistency helps regulate his body's internal clock.

2. Create a Relaxing Bedtime Routine: Suggest activities that promote relaxation before bed, such as reading, meditation, or gentle stretching. Avoid stimulating activities like gaming or watching intense shows right before sleep.

3. Limit Screen Time Before Bed: Encourage him to reduce screen time at least an hour before bed. Using blue light filters on devices or wearing blue light-blocking glasses can also help.

4. Evaluate Sleep Environment: Ensure that his sleeping environment is conducive to rest. This includes a comfortable mattress, a dark and quiet room, and a cool temperature.

5. Consider Professional Help: If these lifestyle changes do not yield improvements, it may be beneficial for him to consult a healthcare professional. A sleep study could help identify any underlying sleep disorders. Additionally, a mental health professional might assist with stress management techniques, which could improve his overall sleep quality.

6. Limit Caffeine and Heavy Meals: Encourage him to avoid caffeine and heavy meals in the hours leading up to bedtime, as these can disrupt sleep.

Emotional and Psychological Factors
It's also worth considering the emotional and psychological aspects of his situation. The pressures from work and life transitions can lead to anxiety and stress, which can further complicate sleep issues. Encouraging open communication about his feelings and possibly seeking counseling could be beneficial.

Conclusion
In summary, your boyfriend's difficulty waking up could stem from a combination of poor sleep hygiene, lifestyle choices, and possibly underlying sleep disorders. By implementing a consistent sleep schedule, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and seeking professional help if necessary, he can improve his sleep quality and overall well-being. Your support and understanding during this process will be invaluable as he works towards better sleep habits.

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