Constantly Imagining Others' Sexual Actions: Should I Seek Help?

Constantly imagining the sexual actions of others?

This issue has troubled me for several years, and I haven't dared to ask anyone about it.
I don't know what to do! Am I sick? When I'm walking down the street, I inexplicably have sexual fantasies about strangers, couples, friends, and even family members.
Even when I'm riding my scooter and stop at a red light, I have the same thoughts when I see couples! Additionally, while riding my scooter, I often think about the possibility of crashing or falling.
Should I see a doctor?

S, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/10/08

Dr. Ding Shuyan reply Psychiatry

Hello, our minds often generate thoughts spontaneously.
This is a characteristic of the mind; it doesn't only activate when we consciously try to think, but rather, the brain operates in the background at all times and will produce thoughts during idle moments.
It's normal for sexual content to appear in our minds, as it is part of our animal nature.
The key factor is how we respond to these involuntary thoughts, which can influence their subsequent development.
Most people may find this normal or even pleasurable, while some may experience guilt or disgust and wish to eliminate these thoughts quickly.
Conversely, some automatic thoughts can be frightening or embarrassing, such as imagining a car accident; fundamentally, they are similar to obsessive thinking.
Generally speaking, thoughts in our minds are like clouds in the sky, coming and going without leaving a trace.
Even if we try hard to focus on a particular topic, we will quickly shift to other thoughts.
The distress caused by obsessive thinking in conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or depression arises from our fear or aversion to those thoughts.
As a result, we lose our equanimity and give excessive attention to these thoughts, which amplifies their power, making them more likely to surface from the background to the forefront of our minds.
This creates a vicious cycle, making us feel even more frightened, as if they are inescapable and continuously recurring.
The solution is to do the opposite: ignore them and redirect our attention.
This will weaken the power of these thoughts, and their frequency will gradually decrease.
This process takes time, but it is achievable.
Additionally, since these thoughts do not truly exist in the external world, ignoring them will not harm our real lives.
If this approach is still ineffective, seeking help from a doctor is also an option.
Wishing you all the best,
Dr.
Ding Shuo-Yan

Reply Date: 2016/10/08

More Info

It's understandable to feel confused and concerned about your thoughts and fantasies, especially when they involve sexual actions of others. The experiences you describe—having persistent sexual fantasies about strangers, friends, or family members—can be distressing and may lead you to question your mental health. It's important to recognize that having sexual thoughts or fantasies is a common human experience; however, when these thoughts become intrusive or cause significant distress, it may be beneficial to seek professional help.

Firstly, let's clarify what you're experiencing. Intrusive thoughts, particularly those of a sexual nature, can occur for various reasons. They may stem from curiosity, anxiety, or even a form of hyperawareness about sexuality. In some cases, these thoughts can be linked to underlying psychological conditions such as obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), where individuals experience unwanted and repetitive thoughts that can lead to anxiety. It's also possible that these fantasies are a way for your mind to explore sexuality in a safe, albeit sometimes uncomfortable, manner.

Your mention of imagining accidents or potential harm while riding a motorcycle suggests that you may also be experiencing anxiety about safety and control. This combination of intrusive sexual thoughts and worries about accidents could indicate a broader pattern of anxiety that might benefit from professional evaluation.

Seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with a safe space to discuss your thoughts and feelings without judgment. A therapist can help you understand the nature of your fantasies, explore any underlying issues, and develop coping strategies to manage intrusive thoughts. They can also help you differentiate between normal sexual curiosity and thoughts that may indicate a deeper concern.

It's important to remember that seeking help does not mean you are "sick" or "abnormal." Many people experience intrusive thoughts, and mental health professionals are trained to assist individuals in navigating these experiences. They can provide you with tools to manage anxiety and help you understand your thoughts in a healthier context.

In addition to professional help, consider engaging in self-care practices that promote mental well-being. This can include mindfulness exercises, journaling your thoughts, or engaging in activities that you enjoy and that help distract you from intrusive thoughts. Physical activity, such as exercise, can also be beneficial for reducing anxiety and improving mood.

In summary, if your fantasies and thoughts are causing you distress or interfering with your daily life, it would be wise to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide you with the support and guidance you need to understand and manage your experiences. Remember, you are not alone in this, and reaching out for help is a positive step toward finding clarity and peace of mind.

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