Mental Health: Coping with Persistent Negative Thoughts - Psychiatry

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Symptoms of mental illness?


Hello, doctor.
I believe that my upbringing and environment are not problematic, but I have had thoughts of wanting to disappear from this world since childhood (around kindergarten).
I think my disappearance could make my family and friends happier, but I have never dared to attempt suicide or self-harm, fearing that it would be difficult to explain if discovered.
Recently, I have had thoughts while walking on the street, wishing a car would hit me or hoping for anything that could lead to my quick death.
I feel useless and may have some perfectionist tendencies, feeling that I can't do anything as well as others.
If I think I might embarrass myself, the urge to die becomes very strong.
I tend to be very pessimistic about things, believing that someone as inadequate as I am cannot be accepted by anyone.
Therefore, if I have minimal interaction with friends, I constantly criticize myself and conclude that "they must have seen how annoying I am and are distancing themselves from me." I also strongly resist forming relationships with others, as it puts a lot of pressure on me.
In new environments, I have no idea how to interact with people and often feel awkward and unsure of what to say, so I usually prefer not to engage with others.
However, if friends ignore me, I become very anxious and uneasy.
I feel tired every day and do not sleep well, even though I get at least eight hours of sleep without staying up late.
Occasionally, I experience slow thinking or zoning out, and I struggle with concentration.
I cannot calm myself to study for exams, and because I feel like I am not doing anything, I think of myself as worthless.
I have never shared these negative thoughts with anyone, fearing that it would burden others.
I also feel that I have a strong defensive mindset.
I once visited a school counselor but found it difficult to express these thoughts, so I did not return.
I would like to ask you, doctor, since my weight, diet, and sleep are normal (as they have always been), I have been questioning whether I have a mental illness.
Will visiting any clinic or hospital yield the same results? If diagnosed and medication is needed, will it affect my ability to study and prepare for exams, which requires a lot of mental effort? Thank you, doctor, for reading and responding.

abc, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/10/19

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry


Hello: It seems that you have been troubled by negative emotions for a long time.
If it's inconvenient to seek counseling at school, you can reach out to the Zhang Teachers' Mailbox (phone) in various locations.
You don't have to meet in person, and they will be happy to provide counseling services.
If necessary, they can also assist in referring you to a hospital for treatment, and your situation should improve soon.

Reply Date: 2016/10/19

More Info


It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of distress and persistent negative thoughts, which can be incredibly challenging to cope with. Your feelings of wanting to disappear, the belief that your absence would make others happier, and the thoughts of self-harm are serious indicators of emotional pain that should not be overlooked. It's important to understand that these feelings are not uncommon, but they do require attention and care.

First and foremost, it’s crucial to acknowledge that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You mentioned that you have had thoughts of self-harm and feelings of worthlessness, which can be symptoms of depression or anxiety disorders. These conditions can distort your perception of yourself and your interactions with others, leading to a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings. It’s understandable that you feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to express these feelings, especially if you fear being a burden to others.

You also mentioned a tendency towards perfectionism, which can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy. Perfectionism often leads to setting unattainable standards for oneself, and when those standards are not met, it can result in feelings of failure and self-loathing. This can create a vicious cycle where you avoid tasks or social interactions out of fear of not meeting expectations, which in turn reinforces feelings of isolation and worthlessness.

In terms of coping strategies, there are several approaches you might consider:
1. Therapeutic Support: It’s commendable that you reached out to a school counselor, even if it didn’t feel productive. Finding a therapist who you feel comfortable with can make a significant difference. It may take time to find the right fit, but a good therapist can help you explore your feelings in a safe environment. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for addressing negative thought patterns and can help you develop healthier coping mechanisms.

2. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a powerful way to process what you’re experiencing. It allows you to externalize your emotions and can provide clarity. You might find it helpful to write about your day, your feelings, and any negative thoughts that arise, along with counterarguments to those thoughts.

3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as mindfulness meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help ground you in the present moment and reduce anxiety. These techniques can also improve your focus and concentration, which may help with your studies.

4. Physical Activity: Regular exercise has been shown to have a positive impact on mental health. It can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, improve mood, and enhance overall well-being. Even a daily walk can make a difference.

5. Social Connections: While it may feel daunting, try to gradually engage with friends or family. Start with small interactions, like sending a text or making a phone call. Building connections can help alleviate feelings of isolation and provide support.

6. Professional Evaluation: If you are concerned about your mental health, it is advisable to seek a comprehensive evaluation from a mental health professional. They can provide a diagnosis and discuss treatment options, which may include therapy, medication, or a combination of both. If medication is prescribed, it’s important to discuss any concerns you have about its impact on your cognitive functions, especially with your upcoming exams.

7. Self-Compassion: Practice being kind to yourself. Recognize that it’s okay to struggle and that you are not alone in your feelings. Self-compassion can help mitigate the harsh self-criticism that often accompanies negative thoughts.

In conclusion, your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and it’s essential to take steps to care for it. You deserve support and understanding as you navigate these feelings. Remember, reaching out for help is a vital step towards healing, and there are resources available to assist you on this journey. Please consider speaking with a mental health professional who can guide you through this challenging time.

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