Exploring Medication and Meditation for Severe Depression: A Personal Journey

Medication issues, meditation, major depressive disorder?

I am currently 21 years old.
Three years ago, I fell ill and endured two months of suffering with my family.
Fortunately, my father took me to see a doctor, and I have been accompanied by Smilon for three years.
On August 5, I sought out a renowned teacher in Taiwan for meditation focused on childhood trauma regression.
The teacher guided me to observe my third-grade classroom, where I saw my younger self and my teacher, Ms.
Guan.
The scene was neutral and motionless, devoid of any emotion.

Then, an unprecedented sensory experience occurred.
She urged me to imagine being that child, to truly embody that child! My body’s memory was profound and suddenly, I felt the emotions of my childhood.
Unlike over a decade ago, my body now experienced a full-body electric sensation, as if I had traveled to another time and space, almost unable to return to reality, feeling as if my body had just been submerged by a tsunami.

When I opened my eyes, I saw the professor's expression of fear, but I instantly felt relaxed.
However, my body still felt pain, overwhelmed by shock, with heightened sensitivity in my senses and organ discomfort.
At that moment, I didn’t think much of it, but after returning home, my body felt unusually strange, which startled me! I began to feel angry towards the professor and the teacher.
The following week felt like an eternity, and I felt worse than death, haunted by two vivid images.

I consulted Professor Zhang again, and she helped me with positive recollections, but unfortunately, it didn’t go as planned.
Subsequently, I often had terrifying dreams at night or felt restless.
Recently, after taking medication, my dreams have been joyful, playing sports with former classmates, no longer holding grudges, and seeing life more positively.
I have consulted various specialists at major hospitals, and I have been diagnosed with severe depression.

One day in the past two months, I tried to go without medication after meditation, and I was confronted with two vivid images, with heightened sensitivity in my senses.
I saw blurry images of people and events from my past that others could not see, constantly on high alert, startled by the slightest movement, experiencing dizziness, headaches, and sporadic muscle and nerve pain throughout my body.
My senses, especially sight and hearing, were particularly acute, with rapid heartbeat, nasal congestion, difficulty breathing, bloating, nausea, loss of appetite, and indigestion.
I often foamed at the mouth, experienced chest pain, headaches, restlessness, despair, sadness, crying, anger, fleeting happiness, paranoia, and daytime insomnia due to electric sensations throughout my body when trying to sleep.
During the day, my hands and feet would involuntarily tremble slightly, and I struggled with concentration, unable to sleep through the night because of electric sensations, and even my dreams were filled with past people and events.
My medication regimen includes:
- Breakfast: Sulpiride 50mg (Smilon) *1, Rivotril 0.5mg *1
- Dinner: Sulpiride 50mg (Smilon) *1, Rivotril 0.5mg
- Before bed: Zolpidem 10mg (Ambien) *1 or Dormicum 7.5mg *1 (only one of these is taken)
- Mirtazapine 30mg *1
Despite taking these medications for over a year, I still feel restless during the day.
I have questions about the medications: Does Sulpiride 50mg (Smilon) increase or decrease dopamine? My doctor said it increases dopamine, but I'm not so sure.
Between Zolpidem 10mg (Stilnox) and Dormicum 7.5mg, which one has a stronger effect? What are their durations and half-lives? Is there a difference between Mirtazapine and Smilon or Lexapro? Could I develop a tolerance? Should I consult my doctor about taking 15mg versus 30mg?
I would like to ask the doctor what exactly is my condition.
I am pleading for help and support; I am at my limit and feel so exhausted.

Shengming Douzhi, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/10/21

Dr. Zhong Mingxun reply Psychiatry

Simpatic M (Sibutramine) 50 mg is a medication that reduces dopamine levels.
Regarding any questions about the medication, I recommend discussing them with your prescribing physician, as my suggestions may not be suitable for your specific condition.
However, your dreams may reflect your inner anxieties.
A single session of meditation or therapy might only bring to light memories that have been buried in the past and may not necessarily have a therapeutic effect.
If needed, I suggest considering ongoing psychological therapy.

Reply Date: 2016/10/21

More Info

Your journey through severe depression is both challenging and complex, and it's commendable that you are actively seeking help and exploring different avenues for healing, including medication and meditation. Understanding the interplay between these two approaches can be crucial in your recovery process.

Medication for Severe Depression
From your description, it appears that you have been prescribed several medications, including Sulpiride (Smilon), Rivotril (Clonazepam), Zolpidem, Dormicun, and Mirtazapine. Each of these medications serves different purposes:
1. Sulpiride is an atypical antipsychotic that can increase dopamine levels in certain areas of the brain, which may help alleviate depressive symptoms. However, its effects can vary from person to person, and it's essential to monitor how you feel while on this medication.

2. Rivotril (Clonazepam) is a benzodiazepine that is often used for anxiety and can help with sleep issues. However, it is typically not recommended for long-term use due to the risk of dependence.

3. Zolpidem and Dormicun are sleep aids that can help with insomnia, a common issue in depression. They work quickly but should be used cautiously to avoid dependency.

4. Mirtazapine is an antidepressant that can help improve mood and appetite, but it may also cause weight gain and sedation.

It's crucial to have open discussions with your prescribing physician about how these medications affect you, especially regarding side effects and overall effectiveness. If you feel that a particular medication is not working or is causing adverse effects, do not hesitate to bring this up with your doctor. Adjustments to your treatment plan may be necessary.

The Role of Meditation
Meditation, particularly guided imagery and mindfulness practices, can be beneficial for mental health. Your experience with meditation, where you revisited childhood memories, may have brought up intense emotions and physical sensations. This is not uncommon, as meditation can sometimes unearth deep-seated feelings that have been suppressed.
While meditation can provide moments of clarity and peace, it can also lead to discomfort as unresolved issues surface. It's essential to approach meditation with a supportive framework, possibly under the guidance of a trained therapist who can help you process these experiences.

Combining Medication and Meditation
The combination of medication and meditation can be powerful. Medication can stabilize your mood and reduce symptoms, making it easier to engage in meditation practices. On the other hand, meditation can enhance your overall well-being, reduce anxiety, and improve your ability to cope with stressors.

1. Start Slowly: If you are new to meditation, begin with short sessions and gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable. Focus on your breath or use guided meditations to help you stay grounded.

2. Mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. This can be as simple as paying attention to your surroundings, engaging fully in activities, or practicing gratitude.

3. Therapeutic Support: Consider seeking therapy that incorporates mindfulness-based approaches, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), which can provide you with tools to manage your thoughts and emotions effectively.

Seeking Support
Your feelings of despair and exhaustion are valid, and it's essential to reach out for support. Whether it's family, friends, or mental health professionals, having a support system can make a significant difference in your recovery journey.
Remember, recovery from severe depression is often not linear; there will be ups and downs. Celebrate small victories, and be gentle with yourself during challenging times.
In conclusion, exploring both medication and meditation can provide a comprehensive approach to managing severe depression. Keep communicating with your healthcare providers, and don't hesitate to seek additional support as you navigate this journey. Your well-being is paramount, and taking proactive steps toward healing is a significant achievement in itself.

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