Overcoming Self-Doubt: Finding Confidence Amidst Depression

Q: Overcoming Self-Doubt: Finding Confidence Amidst Depression

Hello： The expression of confidence is related to one's self-perception and inner sense of security. <br>When alone, if one can affirm oneself, treat oneself kindly, and enjoy one's own company, it becomes easier to not overly concern oneself with others' evaluations, naturally e

Depressive mood..?

I have always lacked self-confidence, and I can even say that I feel inferior.
I am very afraid of being disliked or criticized by others.
I admit that I care too much about what others think.
When I see people whispering, I feel like they are talking bad about me, but it seems that they are not, which makes me suffer a lot.
I pretend to be confident while constantly suppressing my feelings.
I am afraid to let others know because I worry they will think I am strange.
Recently, I have been crying every day and feeling very down.
When I suddenly break down, I cry non-stop and feel like I might have depression.
I really think I am inadequate; I am neither the prettiest nor the best in my studies, and I feel like I can't do anything well.

Moreover, a well-known talent agency recently wanted to sign me.
I was very excited and wanted to sign with them to become a star, which has always been my dream.
However, I hesitated because I feel so inadequate, and if I signed, I would definitely face criticism, which I cannot handle because I have low stress tolerance.
My parents are very disappointed in me; they think I should seize such a good opportunity.
I also hate myself for this; it’s all because of my inferiority complex that is causing these issues.

There are times when I don't feel like crying, but I wish I could cry continuously, as if I want to cry for the sake of crying.
I don't understand why; it seems like I am seeking comfort, hoping that others will see me cry and feel sympathy for me.
Is this abnormal? Doctor, do I have some strange problem? I don’t want to give up on myself every day, but I keep having these thoughts.
I have tried to improve, but it seems that effort alone is not enough.
Doctor, what can I do to stop feeling so insecure and inferior? Many people appear ordinary but are full of confidence and live happily every day.
I really hope I can live confidently too.

Wei, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/10/29

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello: The expression of confidence is related to one's self-perception and inner sense of security.
When alone, if one can affirm oneself, treat oneself kindly, and enjoy one's own company, it becomes easier to not overly concern oneself with others' evaluations, naturally exhibiting a confident attitude.
In the current social structure, no one can achieve a perfect score; there will inevitably be some negative feedback.
As long as the positive affirmations outweigh the criticisms, that is already a good performance.
Appropriate adjustments to standards should help one relax; if one constantly demands perfection in everything, fatigue will set in quickly.
It is advisable to pay more attention to one's strengths and positive traits, as well as the beautiful people, events, and things surrounding oneself, while also accepting other less-than-perfect aspects.
The events experienced daily can serve as nourishment for personal growth.
Reflecting on the experiences gained and the cognitive growth achieved can contribute to increasing confidence each day.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2016/10/29

More Info

Overcoming self-doubt and finding confidence amidst feelings of depression can be a challenging journey, but it is essential to recognize that you are not alone in this struggle. Many individuals experience similar feelings of inadequacy, fear of judgment, and the weight of societal expectations. The first step in addressing these feelings is to acknowledge them and understand that they are valid.
Self-doubt often stems from a combination of internal and external factors. Internally, it can be fueled by negative self-talk and unrealistic standards we set for ourselves. Externally, societal pressures and the opinions of others can exacerbate these feelings. It’s crucial to remember that no one is perfect, and everyone has their own insecurities. The perception that others are judging you may not reflect reality; often, people are too preoccupied with their own lives to focus on you.

One effective strategy for overcoming self-doubt is to practice self-compassion. This involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend. When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, try to reframe those thoughts. Instead of saying, “I’m not good enough,” consider saying, “I am doing my best, and that is enough.” This shift in mindset can help alleviate feelings of inadequacy.

Additionally, it may be beneficial to challenge the beliefs that contribute to your self-doubt. For instance, if you fear criticism from others, ask yourself whether this fear is based on evidence or assumptions. Often, we create narratives in our minds that are not grounded in reality. Engaging in cognitive-behavioral techniques can help you identify and reframe these negative thought patterns.

Another important aspect of building confidence is to focus on your strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Keeping a journal where you document your achievements and positive experiences can serve as a reminder of your capabilities. This practice can help shift your focus from what you perceive as failures to what you have done well.

Social support is also vital in overcoming self-doubt. Surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you. Sharing your feelings with trusted friends or family members can provide relief and perspective. They can help remind you of your worth and offer constructive feedback that can counteract negative self-perceptions.

If you find that your feelings of self-doubt and sadness are persistent and overwhelming, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide you with tools and strategies to cope with these feelings effectively. Therapy can offer a safe space to explore your emotions and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Moreover, engaging in activities that promote mental well-being, such as mindfulness, meditation, or physical exercise, can significantly improve your mood and self-esteem. These practices can help you stay grounded and reduce anxiety, allowing you to approach challenges with a clearer mind.

In conclusion, overcoming self-doubt and building confidence is a gradual process that requires patience and self-compassion. By challenging negative thoughts, focusing on your strengths, seeking support, and possibly engaging in professional help, you can work towards a more confident and fulfilling life. Remember, it’s okay to feel vulnerable, and seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve to feel confident and happy in your own skin, and with time and effort, you can achieve that.

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