Your Mental Health: Signs of Depression and Anxiety

Q: Your Mental Health: Signs of Depression and Anxiety

Hello： Past events can sometimes resurface in our minds and affect our mood. <br>However, what is important is the present and the future. <br>It is advisable to focus on cultivating your current life, developing personal interests and hobbies, and striving for daily growth. <br>

I want to know what is wrong with me?

There have been many events in my life.
My father was quite strict when I was young, which could be considered a form of corporal punishment.
However, that has changed now.
In elementary school, I was bullied by boys in my class; in middle school, I faced the same bullying from the same group of boys; and in high school, the girls in my class kept their distance from me.
However, as graduation approached, the severity of these issues lessened.
I have also attempted wrist cutting, but I lacked the courage to cut an artery, leaving only scars.

In high school, I had a crush on a boy from middle school and asked friends for his contact information.
When I finally met him, he wanted to take advantage of me.
Although he did not succeed that day, I felt dirty because I was still young and did not dare to tell my parents, only confiding in friends.
Their response was, "You didn't want to resist, did you?"
Later, I started meeting boys online or going out with people I liked, but most of these encounters led to sexual relations.
Initially, the boys would also ask me out, and we would engage in sexual activities, which continued into college.
I had a few serious relationships during this time, but none lasted more than a year.
I took emergency contraceptive pills seven times.

At 19, I went out with a boy, and when I visited his place, I was very clear that I did not want to engage in sexual activity.
He threatened me, and despite my pleas and tears, he still took advantage of me.
During college, I spoke with many school counselors for two to three years.

Eventually, I met a boy I trusted completely.
He knows everything about me and still accepts me.
I became very dependent on him and moved to work near his home.
However, the psychological shadows still linger.
Sometimes, when I shower and wash sensitive areas, I feel very anxious.
I know I need to be independent, but when I am alone, I suddenly feel overwhelmed, want to scream, cry, or even think about dying.
I understand I should find things to do or go out, but I still feel empty.

My boyfriend cannot always be by my side, so I try to be independent.
I don’t want him to know how I feel because I don’t want him to worry or think that I am unhappy with him, which might lead to a breakup.
I cannot imagine being without him; losing him would cause me to have a mental breakdown.
I am really trying hard, but does this mean I have depression or anxiety?

You, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/10/30

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello: Past events can sometimes resurface in our minds and affect our mood.
However, what is important is the present and the future.
It is advisable to focus on cultivating your current life, developing personal interests and hobbies, and striving for daily growth.
When past memories arise and influence your mood, remind yourself that they are in the past; what matters is your current life, allowing negative thoughts to drift away naturally.
It is recommended to create positive life experiences to dilute unpleasant memories from the past.
Activities such as exercising, reading, listening to music, creating, and having heartfelt conversations with friends or family can be helpful.
If the situation persists without improvement or becomes increasingly distressing, it is advisable to seek medical assistance.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2016/10/30

More Info

It sounds like you have been through a lot of emotional turmoil and distress, and it's commendable that you are seeking to understand your mental health better. Based on your description, you are experiencing a range of symptoms that could be indicative of both depression and anxiety. Let’s break down some of the signs and symptoms you mentioned, and how they relate to these mental health conditions.

Signs of Depression
1. Emotional Pain and Distress: You mentioned feelings of emptiness, irritability, and a desire to cry. These are common symptoms of depression. Individuals with depression often feel a pervasive sense of sadness or hopelessness that can be overwhelming.

2. Self-Harm Thoughts: The fact that you have engaged in self-harm, even if it was not severe, is a significant indicator that you are struggling with your mental health. Self-harm is often a way to cope with emotional pain, and it can be a cry for help.

3. Negative Self-Perception: You expressed feelings of being "dirty" after unwanted experiences and a sense of worthlessness. These thoughts are often associated with depression, where individuals may have a distorted view of themselves and their value.

4. Social Withdrawal: You mentioned feeling distant from peers and experiencing bullying in school. Social isolation can exacerbate feelings of depression, as it reduces support systems and increases feelings of loneliness.

5. Physical Symptoms: You noted feelings of irritability and restlessness, especially when alone. Depression can manifest physically, leading to changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, and a general lack of energy.

Signs of Anxiety
1. Panic and Fear: Your feelings of wanting to "grab" something or feeling overwhelmed can be signs of anxiety. Anxiety often presents with physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, sweating, and a sense of impending doom.

2. Fear of Judgment: The fear of how others perceive you, especially in social situations, can indicate social anxiety. This can lead to avoidance of social interactions, which can further isolate you.

3. Overthinking: You mentioned feeling empty and having racing thoughts, which are common in anxiety disorders. This can lead to difficulty concentrating and a sense of being overwhelmed by daily tasks.

The Intersection of Depression and Anxiety
It’s important to note that depression and anxiety often coexist. Many individuals experience symptoms of both conditions, which can complicate diagnosis and treatment. The feelings of emptiness and the desire to cry can be linked to depression, while the panic and fear of social situations can be tied to anxiety.

Seeking Help
Given the complexity of your experiences, it is crucial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide a thorough assessment and help you understand whether you are experiencing depression, anxiety, or both. They can also guide you through treatment options, which may include therapy, medication, or a combination of both.

1. Therapy: Engaging in therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help you address negative thought patterns and develop coping strategies. It can also provide a safe space to explore your feelings and experiences.

2. Medication: In some cases, medication may be necessary to help manage symptoms. Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications can be effective in stabilizing mood and reducing anxiety.

3. Support Systems: Building a support network of friends, family, or support groups can be beneficial. Sharing your experiences with trusted individuals can alleviate feelings of isolation and provide emotional support.

Conclusion
Your feelings and experiences are valid, and it’s important to acknowledge the impact they have on your life. Seeking help is a courageous step, and it can lead to a better understanding of your mental health. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are resources and people who can support you through your struggles. Take care of yourself, and prioritize your mental well-being.

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