Struggling with Emotional Control: A High School Student's Journey

Q: Struggling with Emotional Control: A High School Student's Journey

Hello： Regarding your title： "Inability to Control Emotions," I want to commend you for bravely recognizing that you have emotional issues as a high school freshman. <br>Struggling with anger and sadness is quite common at your age, as you are going through a natural physiologica

Inability to control emotions?

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way.
It sounds like you're experiencing significant emotional challenges, including anger and sadness, which have been difficult for you to manage.
You mentioned that you often feel angry over small issues but are afraid to express that anger, fearing that others might find you difficult to deal with.
Even when you try to hide your feelings, people can still see your frustration through your facial expressions.
Regarding your sadness, it seems to be more severe.
You often find yourself thinking negatively and crying, sometimes without any clear reason.
You enjoy math class because it allows you to focus and feel accomplished when solving problems, but recently, you've struggled to concentrate.
You mentioned that painful memories and sad thoughts intrude, making it hard to stay engaged in class.
When you encounter difficulties, such as not understanding a concept or struggling with a problem, you feel intense anger and frustration, leading to destructive behaviors like breaking your phone or snapping a ruler.
You also feel different from others.
Although teachers have praised your handwriting and writing skills, you don't understand why they consider your work good, and you worry about being perceived as showing off.
Family meals are uncomfortable for you because they often lead to comparisons with your cousin, which makes you feel inadequate.

In school, you participate in the drama club, which you enjoy, but at home, when you feel like crying, your family thinks you're just acting.
You find solace in imagining yourself as the lead character in romantic stories, which helps you cope at night, but when the stories involve separation, it causes you even more pain, leading to sleepless nights and continued sadness.
You've been searching online for information on overcoming low self-esteem and managing emotions, but despite your awareness of the issues, you still feel trapped in despair and pain.
You express that you don't have suicidal thoughts or self-harming urges, but you feel overwhelmed by sadness and find it hard to focus on your studies as a high school student.

Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/11/16

Dr. Chen Wenke reply Psychiatry

Hello: Regarding your title: "Inability to Control Emotions," I want to commend you for bravely recognizing that you have emotional issues as a high school freshman.
Struggling with anger and sadness is quite common at your age, as you are going through a natural physiological transition.
This often improves after puberty; however, it may be beneficial to learn how to effectively manage your emotional challenges.
You can utilize the counseling resources available at your school.
It's important to understand that having emotional issues is not necessarily abnormal, so don’t be afraid to seek help.
As for the sadness, it seems to be more serious, as you often find yourself thinking negatively and crying frequently.
This description may suggest depressive traits, but we typically assess how often these feelings occur and their impact on your life.
If these feelings are affecting your daily life, academic performance, and relationships, it might be worthwhile to have a conversation with a professional psychiatrist.
I really enjoy math class because I love the feeling of concentration while solving problems and the satisfaction of finding the answers.
However, I have recently been unable to focus during math class.
When my emotions are low, it also affects my interests and concentration.
I feel trapped in despair and pain, unable to escape my sadness.
Based on your detailed description, it seems you are quite sensitive by nature and may be overly concerned about how others perceive you.
This can lead you to forget or overlook the fact that you are truly wonderful.
If possible, I encourage you to find some time to talk with a psychologist or psychiatrist, as it may be helpful for you.
I wish you well and encourage you to cultivate some positive thinking habits.

Dr.
Chen Wenkai

Reply Date: 2016/11/16

More Info

It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time with your emotions, and I want to acknowledge how difficult this can be for you. As a high school student, navigating the complexities of adolescence can be overwhelming, especially when compounded by feelings of anger, sadness, and self-doubt. It’s important to understand that you are not alone in this experience, and there are ways to manage and cope with these emotions.

From what you’ve described, it seems that you are experiencing intense emotional fluctuations, which can manifest as anger and sadness. These feelings can be triggered by various factors, including academic pressures, social comparisons, and personal expectations. It’s common for students to feel overwhelmed, especially when they perceive themselves as not meeting certain standards, whether set by themselves or by others.

Understanding Your Emotions
1. Anger Management: It’s clear that you feel anger when things don’t go as planned or when you perceive a failure. This is a natural response, but it’s crucial to find healthy outlets for that anger. Instead of suppressing it, consider expressing it in constructive ways. This could include physical activities like sports, writing in a journal, or talking to someone you trust. It’s also helpful to practice mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, which can help you regain control when you feel anger rising.

2. Coping with Sadness: The sadness you experience, especially when it feels overwhelming and comes without a clear reason, can be particularly distressing. This might be linked to underlying issues such as anxiety or depression. It’s important to recognize that crying is a natural emotional release, but if it’s interfering with your daily life and studies, it might be beneficial to seek professional help. A counselor or therapist can provide you with strategies to process these emotions and help you understand the root causes of your sadness.

3. Self-Perception and Comparison: You mentioned feeling different from others and struggling with self-esteem, especially when compared to your cousin. It’s essential to remember that everyone has their unique strengths and weaknesses. Instead of focusing on comparisons, try to celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Engaging in activities that you enjoy, such as drama, can also boost your self-esteem and provide a sense of accomplishment.

4. Academic Pressure: The pressure to perform well academically can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and frustration. It’s great that you enjoy math, but if you find yourself getting distracted or upset during class, consider speaking to your teacher about your struggles. They may offer additional support or resources to help you focus better.

Seeking Help
Given the intensity of your feelings and the impact they have on your daily life, it may be beneficial to talk to a mental health professional. They can help you explore your emotions in a safe environment and provide you with coping strategies tailored to your needs. If you feel uncomfortable discussing this with your family, consider reaching out to a school counselor or a trusted teacher who can guide you in finding the right support.

Conclusion
Remember, it’s okay to seek help, and doing so is a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve to feel better and to have the tools to manage your emotions effectively. High school can be a challenging time, but with the right support and coping strategies, you can navigate these difficulties and emerge stronger. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help; you are not alone in this journey.

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