Emotional Instability: Coping with Anxiety and Depression - Psychiatry

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Emotional instability + irritability + sudden onset of depression + persistent feelings of boredom?


I previously experienced a sudden emotional blockage, feeling as if my feelings were abruptly withdrawn.
I lost interest in everything around me and felt unhappy, leading to self-doubt and questioning my love for my partner.
Afterward, I consulted a doctor, and during our conversation, the doctor speculated that a news story I encountered had triggered intense feelings of grief that I had previously tried to suppress.
When I attempted to push these emotions back down, I inadvertently suppressed many other feelings as well.

During a follow-up visit, the doctor mentioned that during that period, it was as if I had lost the ability to assess my own capabilities.
I felt anxious and doubtful about how to face certain situations.
After some time, I realized that I was very afraid of my partner riding a motorcycle, worried about him coming home late, fearing he would lose contact with me for too long, and being terrified of accidents or him suddenly leaving me.
During this time, I also questioned myself again, wondering if I had lost my feelings for him.
However, I am certain that I love him deeply and enjoy being with him; I cannot imagine losing him or being apart from him.

I often find myself falling into the same emotional patterns, needing to provide evidence to myself of my love for him (I am very sure that I love him, willing to give everything for him, and want to share my life with him).
My friends say that I truly love him, but I can't help overthinking.
I struggle to control myself, and whenever I encounter hints or uncertainties, I start to cycle through the possible reasons for my feelings.

I suspect that I lack passion for life and find existence boring (without any suicidal thoughts).
I often feel lost about what to do each day and am dissatisfied with my life, not liking myself very much.
I experience sudden bouts of depression and mood swings, feeling irritable about many things.
I don't know how to improve myself or stop overthinking, and I am unsure how to gain control over my emotions.

Niming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/12/08

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello: Generally speaking, one must first be able to love oneself in order to truly love others.
Therefore, when feeling depressed or pessimistic, it may be helpful to check if you have forgotten to take care of your own emotions.
It is often more difficult to command ourselves not to overthink; conversely, allowing ourselves to focus on other interesting, important, or growth-promoting matters can be easier.
If you continue to feel troubled, it is advisable to discuss it with your physician during your follow-up appointment.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2016/12/08

More Info


Understanding emotional instability, particularly in the context of anxiety and depression, can be quite complex. The feelings you describe—sudden emotional blockages, loss of interest in activities, self-doubt, and anxiety about your partner's safety—are common experiences for many individuals struggling with emotional regulation. It’s important to recognize that these feelings can stem from various sources, including past traumas, current stressors, and even biological predispositions.

Firstly, it’s crucial to differentiate between temporary emotional fluctuations and more persistent mental health conditions like depression or anxiety disorders. Emotional instability can manifest as mood swings, where one moment you may feel joy or love, and the next, you may feel overwhelmed by sadness or fear. This can often lead to a cycle of negative thoughts, where you question your feelings towards loved ones, as you mentioned regarding your partner.
The experience of feeling disconnected from your emotions, or feeling as if you are suppressing them, can be particularly distressing. This suppression often occurs as a defense mechanism; when faced with overwhelming emotions, such as grief or anxiety, individuals may unconsciously push these feelings down to avoid dealing with them. However, this can lead to a buildup of unresolved emotions, which may eventually surface in unexpected ways, such as anxiety about your partner’s safety or feelings of inadequacy.

Your concerns about your partner’s well-being and your love for them are indicative of anxiety, particularly if these thoughts are intrusive and persistent. It’s common for individuals with anxiety to fixate on potential dangers or negative outcomes, leading to a cycle of worry that can be exhausting. This is often exacerbated by a lack of control over external circumstances, which can further fuel feelings of helplessness and despair.

To cope with these feelings, it’s essential to develop strategies that promote emotional awareness and regulation. Here are several approaches that may help:
1. Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay present and reduce anxiety about the future. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or grounding exercises can help you reconnect with your emotions and reduce feelings of panic.

2. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This therapeutic approach focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns. Working with a therapist trained in CBT can help you reframe your thoughts about your relationship and your self-worth, allowing you to develop a healthier perspective.

3. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can provide an outlet for your emotions and help you process them. It can also serve as a tool for self-reflection, allowing you to track patterns in your emotional responses.

4. Physical Activity: Engaging in regular physical exercise can significantly impact your mood and overall mental health. Exercise releases endorphins, which can help alleviate feelings of depression and anxiety.

5. Social Support: Reaching out to friends or support groups can provide a sense of community and understanding. Sharing your experiences with others who have similar feelings can help normalize your emotions and reduce feelings of isolation.

6. Professional Help: If you find that your emotional instability is significantly impacting your daily life, seeking help from a mental health professional is crucial. They can provide tailored strategies and support to help you navigate your feelings and improve your emotional well-being.

In conclusion, understanding and coping with emotional instability requires a multifaceted approach. By recognizing the patterns in your emotions and implementing strategies to manage them, you can work towards a more balanced emotional state. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and take the time you need to understand your feelings better. Your mental health is a priority, and taking steps towards improvement is a sign of strength.

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