Nighttime Crying in Toddlers: Causes and Solutions

Q: Nighttime Crying in Toddlers: Causes and Solutions

Hello, mother of twins： If we try to see things from the perspective of your older child, who is two years and two months old and has just started preschool three months ago, the addition of a younger sister means there is now competition for parental attention. <br>The time pare

The baby has been crying and fussing suddenly at night for over a month?

Since Da Bao (2 years and 2 months old) started kindergarten three months ago, he has been experiencing episodes of sudden crying and distress, particularly since the first night his younger sister returned home.
Previously, Da Bao would occasionally exhibit such behavior.
On that day, my husband and I had a disagreement that affected Da Bao, and my husband spoke to him in a stern tone.
I believe Da Bao may have been startled awake by the volume of our argument.
When he wakes up in the middle of the night, he often says, "You go out," which is something I said during our argument.
He tends to cry and fuss until he eventually falls back asleep.
However, when I try to comfort him, he often cries even louder, and sometimes he insists that either I or my husband leave the room to stop his crying.
Additionally, if things do not go his way, he will say, "You go out." When I ask him why he says that, he responds, "Because I'm angry!" This raises concerns about how to guide him through these situations, helping him to avoid waking up in the middle of the night and not constantly asking people to leave the room.
What strategies can I use to address this behavior?

Shuang Bao Ma, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/12/27

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

Hello, mother of twins: If we try to see things from the perspective of your older child, who is two years and two months old and has just started preschool three months ago, the addition of a younger sister means there is now competition for parental attention.
The time parents spend with him has significantly decreased compared to before, which can understandably lead to some adjustment issues.
Witnessing parental conflicts can be frightening for a child, and experiencing nightmares or talking in his sleep may indeed be emotional outlets for him.

Since the child is still very young, his understanding of environmental changes is limited, and reasoning may not be effective.
The priority now is to improve the family atmosphere and create a warm and safe environment.
It is essential to avoid arguing in front of the child and for adults to manage their emotions for the sake of the family and the children.

Over time, later experiences can overshadow earlier ones, so parents should model calm and stable emotions and provide ample attention to the child.
Creating enjoyable parent-child interaction time consistently will usually lead to gradual improvement in the child's behavioral issues.
Raising children is challenging, especially when caring for two, so please remember to take care of yourself first.
Best wishes to you.

Reply Date: 2016/12/27

More Info

Understanding nighttime crying in toddlers can be quite challenging for parents, especially when it seems to be triggered by emotional events or changes in the household. In your case, it appears that your toddler's nighttime crying may be linked to a combination of factors, including emotional stress from witnessing parental conflict and possibly a reaction to the arrival of a new sibling.

Causes of Nighttime Crying in Toddlers
1. Emotional Sensitivity: Toddlers are highly sensitive to their environment and the emotions of their caregivers. If there was a disagreement between you and your partner, your child may have felt anxious or scared, leading to nighttime crying. Children at this age often do not have the vocabulary to express their feelings, so they may resort to crying as a way to communicate their distress.

2. Changes in Routine: The transition to having a new sibling can be significant for a toddler. They may feel a sense of loss or jealousy, which can manifest as crying or behavioral changes, especially at night when they are more vulnerable.

3. Nightmares or Night Terrors: While less common in toddlers than in older children, nightmares or night terrors can occur. Night terrors typically happen during deep sleep and can result in intense crying and confusion, while nightmares are more likely to occur during REM sleep and can be remembered by the child.

4. Separation Anxiety: At this age, children often experience separation anxiety, which can be exacerbated by changes in their environment or routine. If your child feels insecure, they may cry out for reassurance during the night.

Solutions and Strategies
1. Create a Calm Environment: Establish a calming bedtime routine that helps your child feel secure. This could include reading a story, singing a lullaby, or engaging in quiet play. Consistency is key, as it helps your child know what to expect.

2. Address Emotional Needs: After a conflict, it may be helpful to reassure your child that everything is okay. Use simple language to explain that sometimes adults have disagreements but that they love each other and your child. This can help alleviate any fears your child may have about the stability of their environment.

3. Encourage Expression: Help your child express their feelings verbally. Encourage them to talk about their emotions and validate their feelings. For example, if they say, "I’m angry," you can respond with, "It’s okay to feel angry. Can you tell me why?" This can help them learn to articulate their feelings instead of resorting to crying.

4. Reassure During Nighttime Distress: If your child wakes up crying, approach them calmly and reassure them. Instead of leaving the room, try to comfort them without picking them up, as this can sometimes escalate their distress. You might say, "I’m here, you’re safe," in a soothing voice.

5. Set Boundaries: If your child insists on you or your partner leaving the room, gently explain that you will stay nearby but that they need to try to sleep. You can offer a transitional object, like a stuffed animal, to provide comfort.

6. Monitor for Patterns: Keep track of when the crying occurs. If it seems to correlate with specific events or changes, you can address those directly. For example, if it happens after a particularly stressful day, consider ways to reduce stress in the household.

7. Consult a Professional: If the crying persists or worsens, it may be beneficial to consult a pediatrician or child psychologist. They can provide additional insights and strategies tailored to your child's specific needs.

Conclusion
Nighttime crying in toddlers can stem from various emotional and environmental factors. By creating a secure environment, addressing emotional needs, and encouraging expression, you can help your child navigate their feelings and reduce nighttime distress. Remember, patience and consistency are essential as your child adjusts to changes and learns to cope with their emotions. If challenges continue, seeking professional guidance can provide additional support for both you and your child.

Similar Q&A

Understanding Nighttime Crying in Toddlers: Causes and Solutions

Hello, my two-year-old daughter has been waking up crying every night for the past week after sleeping for only a few hours (two to four). She says things like "I can't pick it up" and "this, this," and no matter how I try to comfort her, it doesn't ...

Dr. Zhao Yongkang reply Pediatrics
Nina: Hello, the symptoms described are more indicative of night terrors, which is a type of sleep disorder often related to psychological stress. If the child has normal activity levels during the day and does not exhibit any other discomfort (such as nasal congestion or diarrhe...

Understanding Sleepwalking and Night Crying in Children: Causes and Solutions

Hello, doctor! My son is currently six and a half years old. He has not attended preschool for four months due to treatment for sinusitis. He has a long-standing issue with not wanting to sleep and having difficulty falling asleep. For the past nine days, every night after fallin...

Dr. Li Junren reply Psychiatry
The phenomenon you described is known as somnambulism, which typically begins to appear between the ages of 6 and 8, peaks around 12 years old, and generally decreases or disappears by around 15. Somnambulism occurs during specific periods of the sleep cycle, and during these epi...

Understanding and Managing Excessive Crying in Newborns: Tips for Parents

Hello, doctor. My baby was just born not long ago, and is under one month old. For some unknown reason, he cries frequently, almost every half hour. His diaper has been changed, and he has been fed. Each feeding lasts about an hour, but he only consumes around 30 to 40 ml. Even a...

Dr. Xiao Kaiwen reply Pediatrics
Common reasons for a baby under one month old to cry continuously include: 1. Hunger, wet diaper, or needing comfort; 2. Fever; 3. Oral ulcers or severe thrush; 4. Foreign objects in the eyes, ears, or nose; 5. Inguinal hernia; 6. Severe diaper rash; 7. Vaccine side effects; 8. I...

Why Do Children Cry and Struggle to Sleep at Night?

Why do children cry and have trouble sleeping, especially at night when they have gas?

Dr. Ma Yiqun reply Pediatrics
Hello, the reasons for a baby crying and not sleeping at night can vary widely. It may be due to longer daytime naps, gas, infant colic, or signs of other serious illnesses. If you have already reduced daytime sleep but the nighttime crying persists, it is advisable to consult a ...