Addressing Emotional and Behavioral Issues in Young Children: A Guide for Parents - Psychiatry

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Emotional and behavioral problems in young children?


Hello Doctor: My daughter is almost five years old.
She usually lives with her mother and grandmother, while I (the father) can only come home on weekends due to work.
She has always been an introverted and cheerful child, generally shy around strangers, and tends to take time to warm up to new people.
However, she plays happily with familiar individuals.
Although she can get angry, it usually manifests as minor tantrums that can be resolved through good communication.
Recently, over the past month, she has started exhibiting noticeable emotional issues.
Whenever things don't go her way, she has meltdowns, screaming and crying, and even displays aggressive behaviors (such as hitting or biting).
These episodes last about 1 to 2 hours.
We have tried communicating with her and even attempted discipline, but the same issues keep recurring and seem to be worsening.
Currently, this situation is significantly affecting our daily life and work.
I have communicated with her preschool teacher, who mentioned that she behaves normally at school, is well-behaved, and listens well.
What should we do about this situation, Doctor? Thank you.

Mr. W, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/02/07

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello Mr.
W: You might want to ask other caregivers and family members if they have any thoughts, as they spend more time with the child and may help identify potential factors.
The fact that the school situation is normal indicates that the emotional condition has not fully impacted the child, which is a positive sign.
If the child's appetite and sleep are also normal, the impact may not be too severe.
If the cause cannot be identified, it is recommended to increase enjoyable parent-child interaction time.
When the child exhibits problematic behavior, respond with a warm yet firm attitude, allowing the child some time to calm down.
Adults should not react to the child's emotions but instead teach and reinforce appropriate behaviors.
If the situation does not improve, it is advisable to seek medical attention for further evaluation and recommendations.

Reply Date: 2017/02/07

More Info


Addressing emotional and behavioral issues in young children can be a challenging task for parents, especially when the child exhibits sudden changes in behavior. In your case, your daughter, who has been generally well-adjusted and sociable, is now experiencing significant emotional outbursts and aggressive behaviors. This situation can be distressing for both you and your family, and it is important to approach it with care and understanding.

First, it’s essential to recognize that emotional and behavioral changes in children can stem from various factors, including developmental milestones, environmental changes, or even stressors that may not be immediately apparent. Given that your daughter has been living with her mother and grandmother while you are away for work, she may be experiencing feelings of separation anxiety or insecurity, particularly if she is not used to your absence. Children at this age often struggle to articulate their feelings, which can lead to frustration and, consequently, aggressive behaviors.

Here are some strategies that may help you address your daughter’s emotional and behavioral issues:
1. Open Communication: Encourage your daughter to express her feelings. Create a safe space where she feels comfortable sharing her thoughts and emotions. Use simple language and ask open-ended questions to help her articulate what she is feeling. For example, instead of asking, "Are you sad?" you might ask, "What made you feel upset today?"
2. Model Emotional Regulation: Children learn by observing their parents. Demonstrate healthy ways to cope with emotions. When you experience frustration or anger, verbalize your feelings and show how you manage them. For instance, you might say, "I feel frustrated right now, so I’m going to take a deep breath to calm down."
3. Establish Routines: Children thrive on routine and predictability. Establishing a consistent daily schedule can provide a sense of security for your daughter. Include time for play, relaxation, and family activities, which can help her feel more grounded.

4. Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledge and praise your daughter when she expresses her emotions appropriately or manages to calm down after an outburst. Positive reinforcement can encourage her to repeat those behaviors in the future.

5. Seek Professional Help: If the aggressive behaviors persist or worsen, consider consulting a child psychologist or a pediatric mental health professional. They can provide a thorough assessment and offer tailored strategies to help your daughter cope with her emotions. Therapy can also help her develop better coping mechanisms and improve her emotional regulation skills.

6. Collaborate with Educators: Since her teacher reports that she behaves well at school, it may be beneficial to collaborate with her educators. They can provide insights into her behavior in a structured environment and may have additional strategies that work well in the classroom setting.

7. Limit Exposure to Stressors: Evaluate her environment for potential stressors. This could include exposure to conflict, changes in routine, or even media consumption. Reducing exposure to stressful situations can help her feel more secure.

8. Teach Coping Strategies: Introduce simple coping strategies such as deep breathing, counting to ten, or using a "calm-down corner" where she can go to relax when she feels overwhelmed. These tools can empower her to manage her emotions more effectively.

9. Quality Time: Make an effort to spend quality time with your daughter when you are home. Engaging in activities she enjoys can strengthen your bond and provide her with the emotional support she needs.

10. Be Patient: Change takes time, and it’s important to be patient with your daughter as she navigates her emotions. Consistency in your approach will help her feel secure and supported.

In conclusion, addressing emotional and behavioral issues in young children requires a multifaceted approach that includes open communication, modeling appropriate behaviors, establishing routines, and seeking professional guidance when necessary. By providing a supportive environment and teaching your daughter effective coping strategies, you can help her navigate her emotions and reduce the frequency and intensity of her outbursts. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and seeking help is a sign of strength.

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