Family Dynamics and Mental Health Struggles

Hello, I would like to inquire about my mental health issues?

I have family members: my father, mother, younger brother, younger sister, and I am the eldest son.
I have always felt that my dad favors my sister and my mom favors my brother, but my parents insist that they treat us all equally.
However, what I see and hear tells a different story.
The only person I felt truly cared for me was my grandmother, but she has already passed away.
When I was in elementary school, I once swallowed correction fluid capsules in an attempt to commit suicide.
I will never forget the time when I did something wrong; my mother held my brother protectively and glared at me like I was an enemy because I wanted to help my brother clean his ears.
I was once slapped by my father simply because he was in a bad mood while I was eating fries next to him.
I have been scolded and hit since I was young, but my brother and sister have not experienced the same.
Just thinking about the past brings tears to my eyes, no matter when.
I feel like I cannot sense, see, or touch what is supposed to be familial love and sibling bonds, and I am not sure when this feeling started.
I do not like drinking, but sometimes I wish to drink until I am drunk and unconscious when I feel empty, though it does not happen often—about 2 to 4 times a year.

Victor, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/08/01

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

Past life experiences have caused you considerable emotional distress.
It is advisable to seek evaluation at a mental health facility to assess for depression or anxiety disorders.
You may also consider individual psychotherapy to address these unpleasant experiences from the past.
Wishing you health and happiness.
Wu Enliang

Reply Date: 2017/08/01

More Info

Understanding family dynamics and their impact on mental health is crucial, especially when one has experienced feelings of neglect, favoritism, or emotional trauma within the family unit. Your situation reflects a complex interplay of familial relationships, emotional distress, and past trauma, which can significantly affect your mental well-being.

From your description, it seems that you have felt a lack of emotional support and validation from your parents, particularly in comparison to your siblings. This perception of favoritism can lead to feelings of inadequacy, resentment, and isolation. It's not uncommon for individuals in similar situations to feel that their emotional needs are overlooked, leading to a sense of abandonment and a longing for connection that feels unfulfilled.

The experiences you shared about your childhood, including instances of physical punishment and emotional neglect, are particularly concerning. Such experiences can contribute to long-lasting psychological effects, including low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. The fact that you have previously attempted self-harm indicates a serious level of distress that should not be taken lightly. It is essential to recognize that these feelings are valid and that seeking help is a courageous step toward healing.

Your feelings of emptiness and the desire to escape through alcohol, even if infrequently, suggest that you may be struggling with coping mechanisms that are not healthy. While it is understandable to seek relief from emotional pain, turning to substances can lead to further complications and does not address the underlying issues. It is crucial to find healthier ways to cope with your emotions, such as engaging in physical activity, creative expression, or mindfulness practices.

Given the complexity of your feelings and experiences, I strongly encourage you to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and experiences. They can help you develop coping strategies, work through past traumas, and improve your emotional regulation. Therapy can also assist you in understanding family dynamics and how they have shaped your perceptions and behaviors.

Additionally, consider exploring support groups where you can connect with others who have faced similar challenges. Sharing your experiences in a supportive environment can help you feel less alone and provide you with new perspectives on your situation.

It's important to remember that healing is a process, and it is okay to take small steps toward improving your mental health. Acknowledging your feelings, seeking support, and being open to change are all vital components of this journey. You deserve to feel valued and understood, both within your family and in your own life. By taking proactive steps to address your mental health, you can work toward building a more fulfilling and emotionally healthy future.

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