Am I Straight or Gay? Sexual Orientation Confusion - Psychiatry

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Am I heterosexual or homosexual?


I like girls and want to date them, but I also have sexual desires for boys.
Am I gay or straight? I'm really confused.

Wang Enquan, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2017/12/09

Dr. Song Chengxian reply Psychiatry


Hello: You are currently in puberty, which is a stage of development where psychological and sexual exploration begins.
If you have uncertainties regarding your sexual orientation, it is advisable to seek professional resources for guidance.
Through appropriate discussions and a better understanding, you can gain more insight into yourself.

Reply Date: 2017/12/09

More Info


Understanding your sexual orientation can be a complex and sometimes confusing journey, especially when you find yourself attracted to multiple genders. Based on your description, it seems you are experiencing feelings for both women and men, which may suggest that you could identify as bisexual. However, it's essential to recognize that sexual orientation is not always a strict label and can exist on a spectrum.

Sexual orientation typically refers to the pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction one feels toward others. The most common categories include heterosexual (attracted to the opposite gender), homosexual (attracted to the same gender), and bisexual (attracted to both genders). It's important to note that these categories are not exhaustive, and many people find that their attractions can change over time or that they may not fit neatly into one category.

From what you've shared, your attraction to women indicates a desire for a romantic relationship with them, while your sexual desire for men suggests that you also experience some level of attraction to them. This dual attraction can be confusing, especially if societal norms or personal beliefs lead you to feel that you should only identify with one label. It's crucial to understand that having feelings for more than one gender is entirely normal and valid.

Many individuals go through periods of questioning their sexual orientation, especially during adolescence and early adulthood when they are exploring their identities. This exploration can be influenced by various factors, including personal experiences, cultural background, and social environment. It's also common to feel pressure from societal expectations or family beliefs, which can complicate your understanding of your feelings.

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or anxious about your sexual orientation, it may be helpful to talk to someone who can provide support, such as a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional. Engaging with a therapist who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues can offer a safe space to explore your feelings without judgment. They can help you navigate your emotions and provide guidance as you work toward self-acceptance.

It's also beneficial to educate yourself about the diverse spectrum of sexual orientations and identities. Understanding that many people experience similar feelings can help alleviate some of the confusion and isolation you may feel. Online communities, support groups, and literature focused on LGBTQ+ experiences can provide valuable insights and reassurance.

Ultimately, the most important aspect of this journey is to be patient with yourself. It's okay to take your time to understand your feelings and attractions. You don't have to rush to label yourself; instead, allow yourself the freedom to explore your identity as it unfolds. Remember that your feelings are valid, and there is no right or wrong way to experience attraction.

In conclusion, whether you identify as straight, gay, bisexual, or something else entirely, what matters most is that you feel comfortable and authentic in your identity. Embrace your feelings, seek support when needed, and remember that your journey of self-discovery is uniquely yours.

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