Sexual Orientation: Am I Gay, Bisexual, or Just Confused? - Psychiatry

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Sexual orientation


Hello, doctor: I also like girls, but sometimes I find myself attracted to handsome guys as well.
However, I hope my sexual orientation is considered normal.
Is it possible that I could be gay or bisexual? Are there any methods to "correct" my sexual orientation?

Xiao Xin, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2008/07/24

Dr. Li Zhengfeng reply Psychiatry


Hello: First, thank you for your letter.
Based on what you mentioned, you may be experiencing gender identity disorder.
The primary treatment for gender identity disorder is psychotherapy.
I recommend that you consult a psychiatrist or psychologist for psychological treatment.
I wish you a swift resolution to your concerns.
Thank you.

Reply Date: 2008/07/24

More Info


Understanding one’s sexual orientation can be a complex and sometimes confusing journey. It’s important to recognize that sexual orientation exists on a spectrum, and many people experience attractions to multiple genders. Based on your description, it seems you may be grappling with feelings of attraction towards both males and females, which could indicate that you might identify as bisexual. However, it’s also entirely normal to have fluctuating feelings and attractions as you explore your identity.

Firstly, it’s crucial to understand that there is no "normal" when it comes to sexual orientation. Each person's experience is unique, and what matters most is how you feel about your attractions and relationships. The idea of "normal" is often shaped by societal norms and expectations, which can vary widely across cultures and communities. Therefore, it’s essential to embrace your feelings without labeling them as right or wrong.

In your case, you mentioned that you are attracted to both men and women, which aligns with the definition of bisexuality. However, it’s also common for individuals to experience varying degrees of attraction over time. Some may feel more attracted to one gender at certain points in their lives and then find their attractions shift later on. This fluidity is a natural part of human sexuality.

Regarding your question about "correcting" your sexual orientation, it’s important to clarify that sexual orientation is not something that can or should be changed. Efforts to change one’s sexual orientation, often referred to as "conversion therapy," have been widely discredited and condemned by major medical and psychological organizations, including the American Psychological Association and the World Health Organization. These practices can lead to significant psychological harm and do not result in lasting changes to sexual orientation.

Instead of seeking to change your feelings, consider focusing on self-acceptance and understanding. Engaging in self-exploration can be beneficial. This might involve reflecting on your feelings, seeking out supportive communities, or speaking with a mental health professional who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues. Therapy can provide a safe space to discuss your feelings and help you navigate any confusion or anxiety you may have about your sexual orientation.

Additionally, it might be helpful to educate yourself about sexual orientation and the experiences of others who have gone through similar journeys. Reading books, attending workshops, or joining LGBTQ+ support groups can provide valuable insights and foster a sense of community.

Lastly, remember that it’s okay to take your time in understanding your sexual orientation. Many people go through periods of questioning and exploration, and that’s perfectly normal. Allow yourself the grace to explore your feelings without pressure to label yourself immediately. Your identity is yours to define, and it’s okay to embrace the complexity of your feelings as you navigate this aspect of your life.

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