Hello: I am questioning whether I am gay?
Hello, doctor.
I would like to ask if I might be questioning my sexual orientation.
I find that I feel aroused when I see men, but I also feel aroused when I see women.
I'm unsure if I might be bisexual.
If that is the case, how can I adjust my sexual orientation? I am more certain that I am attracted to women, and I have had experiences with both men and women.
How can I change my sexual orientation?
Aaron, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2008/11/12
Dr. Xu Weikai reply Urology
Aaron: Hello, issues in this area generally require long-term assessment and follow-up.
It is best to consult a professional psychiatrist for evaluation in this regard.
Note: This matter falls under mental health (psychiatry).
If there are any unclear points, feel free to ask again, and we can further discuss and research together.
Taitung Hospital, Department of Health, Executive Yuan, Concerned about your Urology Department, Director, Hsu Wei-Kai, Response.
Reply Date: 2008/11/12
More Info
Exploring your sexual orientation can be a complex and sometimes confusing journey, and it's important to approach it with an open mind and a sense of self-acceptance. From what you've described, it seems you experience attraction to both males and females, which could indicate that you might be bisexual. However, understanding your sexual orientation is a personal process that can take time, and it’s perfectly normal to have questions and uncertainties along the way.
Firstly, it’s essential to clarify the definitions of sexual orientation. Sexual orientation refers to the pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction one feels towards others. The most common categories include heterosexual (attraction to the opposite sex), homosexual (attraction to the same sex), and bisexual (attraction to both sexes). There are also other identities within the spectrum, such as pansexual (attraction to individuals regardless of gender) and queer, which can encompass a variety of experiences.
From your description, it seems you have had experiences with both genders and feel excitement when seeing both male and female bodies. This suggests that you may indeed have bisexual tendencies. It’s important to note that sexual orientation is not something that can be "corrected" or changed; it is a part of who you are. Trying to change your sexual orientation can lead to significant emotional distress and is not supported by the medical community. Instead, the focus should be on understanding and accepting your feelings.
If you find that you are more attracted to women but still experience attraction to men, it’s okay to identify as bisexual or even as a heterosexual person who has had same-sex experiences. Many people find that their attractions can be fluid and change over time, and that’s completely normal. The key is to be true to yourself and to embrace your feelings without judgment.
If you are struggling with self-acceptance or feel pressured by societal norms or expectations, it might be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional who specializes in LGBTQ+ issues. They can provide a safe space for you to explore your feelings, help you understand your identity, and work through any internal conflicts you may have.
Additionally, connecting with LGBTQ+ communities, whether online or in-person, can provide you with support and understanding from others who have gone through similar experiences. Hearing their stories and sharing your own can be incredibly validating and can help you feel less isolated in your journey.
In conclusion, there is no need to "fix" your sexual orientation. Instead, focus on understanding and accepting who you are. Allow yourself the time and space to explore your feelings without pressure. Remember, your worth is not defined by your sexual orientation, and embracing your identity is a vital step towards self-acceptance and happiness.
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