Emotional Turmoil: What Mental Health Issues Am I Facing?

What illness do I have...?

In the past, family issues led to my emotional instability.
I didn't understand what it meant to express emotions, so I often resorted to self-harm.
Whenever I felt stressed, I would secretly use a pen or sharp objects like knives to injure myself, which I considered a way to relieve my emotions.
Starting two years ago, I was advised not to harm myself, so I endured for six months, during which I developed depression.
Around mid-October, I had an emotional outburst at school and attempted suicide by swallowing pills.
I was taken by ambulance to China Medical University for emergency intubation.

After that, I rarely engaged in self-harm for an entire year.
However, in mid-October last year, I had an argument with my family over their insistence that I not stay up late and complete my homework.
I tried to communicate, but they spoke loudly and were very aggressive, completely unable to understand or believe what I was saying, which led to another emotional explosion.
This time, I picked up a fruit knife.
Due to the inability to communicate, I felt an impulsive urge to harm them, but my nature prevents me from hurting others.
Instead, I inflicted a deep cut over an inch long on my own hand, resulting in significant bleeding, and I was taken to the hospital for emergency treatment.
I later realized that whenever I experience stress or my emotions reach a certain point, I explode, crying and laughing uncontrollably, hitting my body and face, and even banging my head against the wall, all of which I cannot control.
The persistent feeling of depression has diminished, but there are still times when I cannot manage my emotions.
What illness could this be?
Note: Others see me as more introverted, while my close friends view me as a cheerful person.
However, they are not interested in knowing my other side because they find it boring.

Sheng, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/02/06

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry

Hello.
The text reveals long-term negative emotions and self-harming behaviors.
I hope you can cherish yourself.
The initial assessment suggests that there may be issues with emotional regulation (EQ).
I recommend gathering educational resources on emotional management to learn some techniques.
You may also consider consulting a mental health professional.
If that is not convenient, please reach out to Teacher Chang (1980) or the Lifeline (1995) hotline.
They can provide counseling, guidance, and referral services to help you address your concerns.

Reply Date: 2018/02/06

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a complex interplay of emotional distress, self-harm tendencies, and difficulties in managing your feelings, which may be indicative of underlying mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or even borderline personality disorder. Your history of self-harm and the intense emotional reactions you describe suggest that you may be struggling with emotional regulation, which is a common challenge for individuals who have experienced trauma or significant stress in their lives.

Self-harm, as you mentioned, can often serve as a coping mechanism for overwhelming emotions. It is a way to externalize internal pain, providing a temporary sense of relief or control. However, this behavior can lead to a cycle of shame and further emotional distress, making it crucial to find healthier coping strategies. The fact that you have sought help in the past and have been encouraged to avoid self-harm is a positive step, but it seems that the underlying issues remain unresolved.

Your emotional outbursts, such as the incidents of wanting to harm yourself or others during conflicts, indicate a heightened state of emotional reactivity. This can be linked to a variety of factors, including unresolved trauma, chronic stress, or even a mood disorder. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are valid and that you are not alone in experiencing them. Many individuals face similar struggles, and there are effective treatments available.

One potential avenue for support is therapy, particularly approaches that focus on emotional regulation and coping strategies. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is one such method that has been shown to be effective for individuals who experience intense emotions and engage in self-harming behaviors. DBT teaches skills for managing emotions, improving interpersonal effectiveness, and reducing self-destructive behaviors. It may also be beneficial to explore cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which can help you identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to your emotional turmoil.

In addition to therapy, building a support network can be incredibly beneficial. This could include friends, family members, or support groups where you can share your experiences and feelings in a safe environment. It’s essential to have people who understand your struggles and can provide encouragement and support when you are feeling overwhelmed.

Practicing self-care is also crucial. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as exercise, mindfulness, or creative outlets, can help you manage stress and improve your mood. Journaling can be a helpful tool for processing emotions and reflecting on your experiences, even if it feels challenging at times.

Lastly, if you are considering medication, it is important to consult with a psychiatrist or a healthcare provider who can assess your situation and discuss potential options. Medication can be a valuable part of treatment for mood disorders and can help stabilize your emotions.

In summary, it’s clear that you are facing significant challenges related to emotional regulation and mental health. Seeking professional help from a therapist or psychiatrist can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate these difficulties. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking steps toward healing is a sign of strength. You deserve to feel better and to find healthier ways to cope with the pressures and emotions you are experiencing.

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