Mental Health: Navigating Feelings of Worthlessness and Despair

I'm not sure what's wrong?

Hello Doctor: Since middle school, I have often imagined why someone like me, who feels incapable of anything, should continue to live.
I constantly feel that I do not belong in this world and that I only cause trouble for others.
As a result, I started self-harming in middle school, and recently I attempted suicide, but unfortunately, it was unsuccessful.
I pretend to be happy or funny in front of others, but deep down, I know I am always unhappy.
My communication has decreased, my expressions have become less frequent, and I have lost interest in many things.
I often wake up very early, which has led to dissatisfaction from others.
My appetite varies; sometimes I eat a lot, and other times I eat nothing at all.
Now, I feel indifferent about everything.
Recently, I was compelled to see a psychiatrist due to taking a break from school, and I am currently taking medications including Rifampicin, Lurasidone, and Olanzapine.
After finally discussing my feelings with my family, they said that it is normal and that everyone has thought about such things (I did not tell them about my suicide attempt, only that I had considered various methods).
I would like to know, do all people think about these issues, or is this just a personality trait of mine, and am I not actually ill?

123, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/03/01

Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry

Hello.
The text expresses long-term negative emotional behaviors and the hope to cherish oneself.
You have received treatment in the field of mental health (psychiatry).
Please continue with your medical follow-ups and consult with your physician to discuss whether this is a personality trait or a disorder.
Cooperate with the treatment for an early improvement of your issues.

Reply Date: 2018/03/01

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, and I want to acknowledge the pain and confusion you are experiencing. Your feelings of worthlessness and despair are serious and deserve attention and care. It’s important to understand that you are not alone in feeling this way, and many people struggle with similar thoughts and emotions.

From your description, it seems that you have been grappling with feelings of inadequacy and a sense of not belonging since middle school. These feelings can often lead to a cycle of negative thoughts and behaviors, including self-harm and suicidal ideation. The fact that you have attempted suicide, even if unsuccessful, is a significant indicator that you are in a state of crisis and need support.

It's crucial to recognize that thoughts of self-harm or suicide are not merely a phase or a personality trait; they are serious mental health concerns. Many people do experience thoughts of self-harm or suicide at some point in their lives, but this does not mean that it is a normal or healthy response to emotional pain. It is a signal that something deeper is going on that needs to be addressed.

You mentioned that you have been prescribed medications such as Rifuxin, Lurasidone, and Olanzapine. These medications can be helpful in managing symptoms of depression and anxiety, but they often take time to work effectively. It’s essential to maintain open communication with your psychiatrist about how you are feeling on these medications, as adjustments may be necessary to find the right balance for you.

Additionally, it’s concerning that your family dismissed your feelings as "normal." While it’s true that many people experience difficult emotions, the severity and persistence of your feelings suggest that you may be dealing with a mental health condition, such as depression or anxiety disorder. It’s important to seek validation and support from professionals who understand the complexities of mental health rather than relying solely on family members who may not fully grasp the situation.

Engaging in therapy can be incredibly beneficial. A mental health professional can help you explore the underlying issues contributing to your feelings of worthlessness and despair. Therapy provides a safe space to express your thoughts and feelings without judgment and can equip you with coping strategies to manage your emotions more effectively.

In addition to therapy, consider incorporating self-care practices into your daily routine. This could include physical activities, mindfulness exercises, journaling, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. While it may feel challenging to find motivation, even small steps can lead to significant improvements in your mental health over time.

Lastly, if you ever feel overwhelmed or have thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out for immediate help. Crisis hotlines and mental health professionals are available to provide support and guidance during difficult moments. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and you deserve to feel better.

In conclusion, your feelings are valid, and it’s essential to take them seriously. You are not alone in this struggle, and with the right support and treatment, it is possible to navigate through these feelings of worthlessness and despair. Please continue to seek help and surround yourself with supportive individuals who understand your journey.

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