Struggling with Self-Worth: Seeking a Fresh Start in Mental Health

Q: Struggling with Self-Worth: Seeking a Fresh Start in Mental Health

Hello： It sounds like recent events in your life have left you feeling sad and frustrated, with many things falling short of your expectations. <br>Are you also feeling disappointed and angry with those around you, feeling hurt by their words and reactions? Perhaps you are also e

I really want to start over?

Hello, Dr.
Yu: I feel like nothing is going well for me.
I often change jobs, and despite my efforts, I either see no results or get let go after being used.
Even my strongest skills haven't gained any recognition online despite my hard work.
I watch as everyone around me successfully builds their lives, while I feel like a worthless burden.
My family looks down on me; after interviews, they immediately say there's no hope.
Many in my family treat me like a servant, speaking to me as if I'm less than a dog.
I've lost all my confidence and don't dare to share my struggles with friends anymore, thinking it must be my fault.
I'm increasingly filled with negative thoughts, often wishing for an accident or contemplating jumping off a building to start over.
It's really frustrating; it feels like my family would be better off without me, and I feel like I'm just an extra.

Nìmíng, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/12/10

Dr. Yu Quanxun reply Psychiatry

Hello: It sounds like recent events in your life have left you feeling sad and frustrated, with many things falling short of your expectations.
Are you also feeling disappointed and angry with those around you, feeling hurt by their words and reactions? Perhaps you are also experiencing disappointment or regret about yourself? In such circumstances, do you feel isolated and helpless, worried that people may not accept this version of yourself, and wanting to abandon it? Do you feel battered and exhausted in the process of pursuing your dreams? It is already a significant step to express your feelings in this challenging situation.
Many individuals seeking mental health support are troubled by persistent negative thoughts and a long-term loss of confidence, along with occasional suicidal thoughts.
Many find that these thoughts occupy their minds, leading to a period of restlessness, during which their attention, cognitive flexibility, memory, and physical stamina seem to decline significantly, severely impacting their daily functioning.
However, after collaborating with a physician for some time, many discover that the seemingly endless dark emotions and thoughts gradually dissipate, ultimately leading to clearer skies.
Their mental faculties return to normal.
Therefore, I sincerely invite you to take another step forward and meet with a mental health specialist.
There may be many things that can change with the physician's listening ear, as you work together to understand and plan for improvement.
Our hospital also offers relevant outpatient and inpatient resources, and if you are interested, we welcome you to come.
Our hospital may be able to provide some assistance.
Yuli Hospital cares about you.

Reply Date: 2022/12/10

More Info

It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging time, and I want to emphasize that your feelings are valid. Struggling with self-worth and feeling like you are not achieving what you desire can be overwhelming, especially when compounded by negative feedback from family and the pressures of societal expectations. It’s important to recognize that you are not alone in these feelings, and many people experience similar struggles at various points in their lives.

Firstly, it’s crucial to understand that self-worth is not solely determined by external achievements or the opinions of others. It is an intrinsic value that you hold for yourself, and it can be cultivated through self-compassion and self-acceptance. The negative thoughts you are experiencing, such as feeling like a "burden" or "worthless," can often be symptoms of underlying mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety. These thoughts can distort your perception of reality, making it difficult to see your own worth and potential.

You mentioned feeling like you are constantly switching jobs and not finding success despite your efforts. This can be incredibly disheartening, but it’s important to remember that career paths are rarely linear. Many successful individuals have faced numerous setbacks before finding their niche. It may be helpful to reframe your perspective on these experiences—not as failures, but as opportunities for growth and learning. Each job, regardless of the outcome, can provide valuable skills and insights that contribute to your overall development.

Additionally, the pressure from family can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy. It’s unfortunate that their words have impacted your self-esteem so deeply. It might be beneficial to establish boundaries with family members regarding how they communicate with you. Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who uplift you can make a significant difference in your mental health. If you feel comfortable, consider discussing your feelings with a trusted friend or seeking support from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore these feelings and develop coping strategies.

You also mentioned thoughts of self-harm or wishing for an end to your struggles. It’s vital to take these feelings seriously. If you ever feel overwhelmed or in crisis, please reach out for help immediately. There are hotlines and resources available where you can talk to someone who understands and can provide support. In the U.S., the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255), and they offer confidential support 24/7.

In terms of practical steps you can take to improve your mental health and self-worth, consider the following:
1. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Acknowledge your struggles without judgment.

2. Set Small Goals: Instead of focusing on large achievements, set small, attainable goals for yourself. Celebrate each success, no matter how minor it may seem.

3. Engage in Activities You Enjoy: Find hobbies or activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts and foster a sense of accomplishment.

4. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce anxiety about the future. Techniques such as meditation or deep breathing can be beneficial.

5. Seek Professional Help: If you haven’t already, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Therapy can provide you with tools to manage your thoughts and feelings effectively.

6. Connect with Others: Building a support network can be incredibly beneficial. Engage with friends, join clubs, or participate in community activities to foster connections.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking steps towards improving your mental health is a sign of strength, not weakness. You deserve to feel valued and to find fulfillment in your life. Your journey may be difficult, but with time and support, it is possible to find a fresh start and rebuild your self-worth.

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