Transforming Yourself: Overcoming Mental Health Struggles and Isolation

Change oneself

Since childhood, I have often been ostracized due to obesity, and because overweight individuals tend to sweat and have body odor, I have been reluctant to get close to others.
Additionally, I have halitosis, which has led to very few social interactions and friendships.
Now that I have graduated from college, I have been staying at home, and I find it difficult to communicate even with my family.
I often struggle to understand what they are trying to express, or they have trouble understanding me.
My social anxiety, combined with a language barrier, has made job hunting challenging.
Frequently, I find myself overthinking in the dark before sleep, feeling exhausted by life and contemplating how to free myself from this burden.
I once attempted self-harm, but I lacked the courage to continue due to the pain.
When I try to talk to my family, they often tell me not to overthink and just go to sleep.
This might be because I usually present a cheerful demeanor in front of them, leading them to believe I am joking.
Now, my family is putting pressure on me to find a job, which has intensified my feelings of exhaustion and despair.
I am unsure how to change my personality, and I fear that one day I might truly lose hope.

K, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2016/03/17

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry

As people grow up, they become more accepting of each other's differences and diversity, which means that negative experiences from childhood are less likely to occur in adulthood.
Change in individuals is a result of the long-term accumulation of experiences and growth.
It is important to convince oneself to take the first step, to begin learning and growing, which will gradually lead to change.
During this process of stepping out, one may encounter setbacks, but as long as one does not give up, these setbacks are merely part of the growth journey.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2016/03/17

More Info

It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, and it's important to acknowledge the feelings of isolation, anxiety, and frustration that you are experiencing. Your journey from childhood to adulthood has been marked by significant struggles, including bullying, social anxiety, and communication barriers, which can understandably lead to feelings of hopelessness and despair. However, it's crucial to recognize that change is possible, and there are steps you can take to improve your mental health and overall well-being.

First and foremost, it’s essential to seek professional help. A mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist, can provide you with the support and guidance you need. They can help you explore the underlying issues contributing to your feelings of isolation and anxiety, and they can work with you to develop coping strategies. Therapy can be a safe space for you to express your feelings and thoughts without judgment, and it can help you learn new ways to communicate and interact with others.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one effective approach that can help you challenge negative thought patterns and beliefs about yourself. For instance, if you often think, "I am unlovable" or "I will never find a job," CBT can help you reframe these thoughts into more positive and realistic ones. This shift in thinking can lead to changes in your feelings and behaviors, making it easier for you to engage with others and pursue opportunities.

In addition to therapy, consider joining support groups or community activities where you can meet people with similar experiences. This can help reduce feelings of isolation and provide you with a sense of belonging. Engaging in social activities, even if they feel uncomfortable at first, can gradually help you build confidence in your social skills. Start small—perhaps by participating in a hobby or interest group where the focus is on the activity rather than socializing.

Another important aspect of your journey is self-care. Prioritize activities that promote your physical and mental health, such as regular exercise, a balanced diet, and sufficient sleep. Physical activity, in particular, has been shown to have a positive impact on mental health by reducing anxiety and depression. Even simple activities like walking or stretching can make a difference.

Mindfulness and relaxation techniques can also be beneficial. Practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help you manage anxiety and improve your emotional regulation. These techniques can help you stay grounded in the present moment, reducing the tendency to ruminate on negative thoughts.

It's also important to communicate openly with your family about your struggles. While they may not fully understand what you're going through, expressing your feelings can help them provide the support you need. You might consider sharing specific examples of how their comments affect you and what kind of support would be more helpful.

Lastly, be patient with yourself. Change takes time, and it's normal to have setbacks along the way. Celebrate small victories, whether it's having a conversation with a family member or stepping outside your comfort zone. Each step you take toward overcoming your challenges is a step toward a healthier and more fulfilling life.

In summary, while your current situation may feel overwhelming, there is hope for transformation. By seeking professional help, engaging in social activities, practicing self-care, and communicating with your family, you can begin to break free from the cycle of isolation and despair. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and there are resources and people who can support you along the way.

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