Overcoming Anxiety and Isolation: A Journey Through Mental Health Struggles

Q: Overcoming Anxiety and Isolation: A Journey Through Mental Health Struggles

Hello, Miss： It appears that you are experiencing significant symptoms of anxiety and difficulties in interpersonal relationships. <br>The background you mentioned in your letter suggests that you may not have had a sufficiently secure attachment during childhood, which has led t

Constant feelings of anxiety/obsessive thoughts/sleep disturbances?

Since childhood, my home has been filled with chaos and conflict (a typical violent family), with very few peaceful days.
After the second year of junior high, I became the only child at home (my older brother passed away).
I have always been introverted and accustomed to solitude.
During my school years, making friends often ended poorly, resulting in either exclusion or a toxic loss of contact (due to my personality and issues with social interactions).
After entering the workforce, I mostly chose to be alone.
Although I have always enjoyed solitude and preferred not to socialize, after working abroad for a few years (where I faced exclusion and attacks due to work), I became increasingly reclusive.
Eventually, I reached a point where I doubted my own personality, contemplated suicide, and transformed from lacking confidence to completely denying my own existence.

Now, although I am married, my husband is often away for work.
Being alone has become terrifying and anxiety-inducing; I frequently feel an overwhelming sense of guilt, as if I owe the world an apology.
My emotions are unstable, and I experience compulsive self-blame, which even affects my daily routine.
It is difficult to suppress the thoughts of being "hated," "disliked," or "abandoned." I often feel inexplicably anxious and find myself obsessively thinking, "What if I have no family in the future? How will I live alone?" or "If I no longer have my mother and husband (the two family members I contact most), who will I turn to for help or just to talk?" Living with this unfounded anxiety, I genuinely don’t know what to do.

I often need to live alone, but I still keep in touch with my husband and mother.
However, that "compulsive unease" prevents me from living peacefully.
I frequently struggle to sleep at night, and despite convincing myself not to overthink, the anxiety keeps me awake, leaving me exhausted.
Even when I occasionally find friends to spend time with, I feel distant from them and unable to trust outsiders.
They all have many family members, and often I feel discarded.
Yet, the anxiety of "not having relatives" remains unresolved, and I feel constantly forced to be reminded of the need to live alone, which is driving me nearly insane (my husband and mother are only five years apart, and my mother often reminds me about having children).

I often feel inexplicably anxious or find myself crying without reason.
What should I do? Am I normal? How can I eliminate this anxiety? What is wrong with me? How can I come to terms with this and no longer be held hostage by my emotions? I have always feared crowds and feel that I am unlikable.
Everyone is busy and their cold responses hurt me; I don’t want to be so sensitive, but I don’t know how to change, so I avoid maintaining contact with others, resulting in almost no real friends.
This persistent anxiety makes it difficult for me to interact with others, which is very distressing.
I don’t understand why I can’t be like everyone else.
Am I really sick? The anxiety that keeps me awake at night has left me exhausted, and I feel completely drained during the day.

Wenwen, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/05/01

Dr. Wang Zhenyang reply Psychiatry

Hello, Miss: It appears that you are experiencing significant symptoms of anxiety and difficulties in interpersonal relationships.
The background you mentioned in your letter suggests that you may not have had a sufficiently secure attachment during childhood, which has led to challenges in your relationships and difficulty being alone.
I recommend seeking assistance from a psychiatrist or a mental health professional; both medication and psychotherapy could be beneficial for you.
Sincerely, Dr.
Wang Zhenyang, Community Psychiatry, Taoyuan Psychiatric Hospital, Ministry of Health and Welfare, No.
71 Longshou Street, Taoyuan District, Taoyuan City, TEL: 03-3698553 ext 2027, FAX: 03-3699498.

Reply Date: 2019/05/01

More Info

Your situation reflects a complex interplay of anxiety, isolation, and the emotional aftermath of a challenging upbringing. It’s important to recognize that your feelings are valid and that many people experience similar struggles, especially when faced with a history of trauma and loss. Here’s a comprehensive approach to understanding and addressing your mental health concerns.

Understanding Your Anxiety and Isolation
1. Background and Trauma: Growing up in a violent household can have lasting effects on your mental health. The loss of a sibling and the subsequent isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and anxiety. It’s common for individuals from such backgrounds to develop coping mechanisms that may include withdrawal from social interactions, leading to further isolation.

2. Personality and Social Interactions: Your self-described introversion and difficulty in forming lasting friendships can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. The fear of rejection or being disliked can create a cycle of avoidance, where you choose solitude over the potential discomfort of social interactions.

3. Cognitive Patterns: The intrusive thoughts about abandonment and the fear of being alone are indicative of anxiety disorders. These thoughts can become overwhelming, leading to compulsive behaviors and emotional distress. It’s crucial to understand that these thoughts do not reflect reality; they are products of anxiety.

Strategies for Overcoming Anxiety and Isolation
1. Therapeutic Support: Seeking professional help is a vital step. A therapist can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping strategies. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for anxiety, as it helps reframe negative thought patterns and encourages healthier behaviors.

2. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Incorporating mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help ground you in the present moment and reduce anxiety. These techniques can also improve your sleep quality, which is essential for mental well-being.

3. Gradual Exposure to Social Situations: Start small by engaging in low-pressure social interactions. This could be as simple as chatting with a neighbor or participating in a community event. Gradually increasing your exposure to social situations can help reduce anxiety over time.

4. Building a Support Network: While it may feel challenging, try to reconnect with friends or family members. Expressing your feelings to someone you trust can alleviate feelings of isolation. Consider joining support groups where you can meet others who share similar experiences.

5. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic outlet. It allows you to process your emotions and can provide clarity on your experiences. Journaling can also help identify triggers for your anxiety.

6. Physical Activity: Regular exercise is known to reduce anxiety and improve mood. Find an activity you enjoy, whether it’s walking, yoga, or dancing. Physical activity releases endorphins, which can enhance your overall sense of well-being.

7. Limit Negative Inputs: Be mindful of the media you consume and the conversations you engage in. Surround yourself with positive influences and limit exposure to negativity, which can exacerbate feelings of anxiety.

8. Self-Compassion: Practice being kind to yourself. Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel anxious and that you are not alone in your struggles. Self-compassion can help mitigate feelings of guilt and shame associated with your anxiety.

Conclusion
Your journey through anxiety and isolation is undoubtedly challenging, but it’s important to remember that recovery is possible. By taking proactive steps and seeking support, you can begin to navigate your feelings and build a more fulfilling life. It’s essential to be patient with yourself; healing takes time, and every small step counts. If you ever feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. You deserve to live a life free from the burdens of anxiety and isolation.

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