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Hello, doctor.
I apologize for reaching out late at night, but I am troubled and unable to sleep.
I am a mental health patient with a handbook and a major card.
Recently, due to various issues, I have been feeling quite disturbed! Additionally, due to frustrations and other factors, I have resorted to masturbation to cope with my emotions and desires.
I have been doing this for three consecutive days.
In my life, I have faced the same problems and have fallen for the second time! Those who know about it have been watching me with cold eyes and pointing fingers.
Moreover, I have never had a girlfriend since the sixth grade.
Now I am 43 years old! It seems impossible for me to get married in this lifetime! I really want to leave my hometown and develop elsewhere.
Unfortunately, my hometown is so small, and my education and skills are not impressive! I am 43, and because I was a child actor, I have spent little time with my family, including my younger brother.
I still see my younger brother as a child; after all, he is cuter that way, and I tend to care for him more.
My brother is 38 years old.
Since childhood, my mental state has remained stuck in the past, and I am still quite immature! I often call my brother by his childhood nickname.
This is also a regret from my childhood when I was away filming with my family! I have been preparing for the national civil service exam for many years! Recently, I can no longer tolerate the constant testing; the pressure and the feeling of being stuck are unbearable! Moreover, this is just the beginning! In recent years, due to regular medication and other factors, I have become much more aware and have slightly understood some things.
I am currently working as a cleaner, and occasionally I still oversleep and arrive late, but my supervisor continues to give me opportunities to keep going.
I don’t know what my supervisor's mindset is to keep giving me chances!? However, this morning, I still felt the urge to masturbate to release my dissatisfaction or emotions.
I promised myself that I would pass the civil service exam, no matter how hard it gets! I will only give up after exhausting all my efforts.
I have this determination, but reality feels difficult to achieve! I want to succeed so that others will respect me and see me differently, rather than as a once-ill, down-and-out loser! I still think about moving to another county, the scenery there, and the culture and experiences I could encounter.
I want to go out and see more.
Otherwise, I will remain in my hometown, stagnant and narrow-minded, feeling like a frog in a well, with no progress! The prerequisite is to pass the national exam! This would also allow me to distance myself from classmates who have bullied me, among others.
I sincerely hope I can achieve this.
Da Dao Zhi Jian, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2024/03/02
Dr. Qiu Junda reply Psychiatry
Hello.
You have a medical history.
Please continue to attend regular follow-up appointments.
If you have any psychological or emotional concerns, you can consult with your attending physician to discuss possible solutions for improvement.
Reply Date: 2024/03/02
More Info
Overcoming mental health struggles is indeed a challenging journey, particularly when one feels trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, societal judgment, and emotional turmoil. Your feelings of frustration, isolation, and the desire for self-discovery are valid and resonate with many who face similar challenges. It’s important to acknowledge that mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, can significantly impact one’s self-perception and overall quality of life.
Firstly, it’s commendable that you are seeking help and expressing your feelings. This is a crucial step in the journey toward healing. The feelings of inadequacy and the pressure to succeed, especially in the context of societal expectations, can be overwhelming. It’s common for individuals with mental health struggles to feel as though they are constantly falling short of their goals, particularly when faced with setbacks. The pressure to conform to societal norms, such as having a stable job, relationships, or a certain level of education, can exacerbate feelings of worthlessness.
Your mention of using masturbation as a coping mechanism for emotional distress is also noteworthy. While it is a natural behavior, relying on it excessively can sometimes lead to feelings of guilt or shame, especially if it becomes a primary means of emotional regulation. It’s essential to explore healthier coping strategies that can provide relief without the negative aftermath. Activities such as exercise, meditation, journaling, or engaging in hobbies can serve as constructive outlets for your emotions.
The desire to move away from your hometown and explore new opportunities reflects a longing for change and growth. It’s understandable to want to escape the memories of past bullying and the limitations you feel in your current environment. However, it’s crucial to approach this desire with a balanced perspective. While a change of scenery can provide new experiences and opportunities, it’s also important to address the underlying issues that contribute to your feelings of stagnation and inadequacy.
Your commitment to passing the civil service exam is admirable. Setting such goals can provide a sense of purpose and direction. However, it’s essential to approach this goal with self-compassion. Recognize that setbacks are a part of the journey, and they do not define your worth or potential. It may be beneficial to break down your goal into smaller, manageable steps, allowing you to celebrate small victories along the way. This can help build your confidence and reinforce a positive self-image.
Moreover, consider seeking professional support, such as therapy or counseling. A mental health professional can provide you with tools and strategies to cope with your feelings of inadequacy and help you navigate the complexities of your emotions. Therapy can also offer a safe space to explore your past experiences and how they shape your current self-perception.
Lastly, remember that self-discovery is a lifelong journey. It’s okay to feel lost or unsure about your identity and purpose. Many people experience similar feelings, and it’s a natural part of life’s ebb and flow. Embrace the process of learning about yourself, and allow yourself the grace to grow at your own pace. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift you and encourage your journey toward self-acceptance and fulfillment.
In conclusion, overcoming mental health struggles requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to seek help. By addressing your feelings, setting realistic goals, and exploring healthier coping mechanisms, you can navigate this challenging journey toward self-discovery and ultimately find a sense of peace and purpose in your life.
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