Emotional Instability: Defining the Fine Line in Counseling

Emotional instability

Hello, teacher.
I am a psychological counselor from mainland China.
I would like to ask about the definition of emotional instability.
Recently, I encountered a scam that took some money from us for a training course.
I felt extremely low and angry at that time, but I did not engage in any self-harming behaviors, and my daily life remained normal without affecting my work.
In another counseling training group's course, I felt that the feedback from the instructor was very subjective.
Afterward, I discussed this with friends in the counseling field, and even counselors from mainland China consistently believe that when counselors lead a group, they must respect the information of the clients rather than label them based on personal subjectivity.
It felt like no matter what you said, they would just label you as such, which I found unprofessional.
At that time, I also felt somewhat fatigued because, in that emotional state, I felt confused, thinking that I was learning to become more professional and did not want to learn such unprofessional counseling models and methods.
I felt a bit burnt out and did not want to continue.
The counselor who recommended me to take this course comforted me, but later, I asked another friend about everyone's opinions, thinking it would be a friendly exchange.
Originally, I intended to share it in a group, but since the other party did not know this friend, they asked from a counselor's perspective why I wanted to share this, what my purpose was, and if I already had the answer, why I still needed to ask them.
At that moment, I felt very angry.
I thought it was just an exchange, and if they found the content inappropriate or did not want to respond, they could simply choose not to say anything.
However, the other party approached the situation from a condescending (counseling illness) perspective, seemingly trying to appear very professional.
Coupled with the previous scam incident—where they promised to do things but did nothing and took the money quickly—it made me feel a mix of old and new grievances, leading me to say that if a friend acted like that, I would cut ties.
The other party then said I was emotionally unstable.
I found this strange because throughout the entire situation, I did not raise my voice, did not curse, did not break anything, did not harm myself, and did not affect my daily work and life routines.
Yet, I was labeled as emotionally unstable.
Am I really emotionally unstable, or does this person have a counseling issue? I would like to clarify this and kindly ask for your assistance in answering.
Thank you, teacher.

Dai Dai, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/03/21

Dr. Zhang Fangrong reply Psychiatry

Dear Sir/Madam,
I noticed that you have recently encountered some uncomfortable situations, and I can sense your passion and dedication to the counseling profession, which is commendable.
Of course, in life and in the workplace, it is inevitable to face disappointments.
However, it is important and correct to uphold your professionalism and ideals.
If you can dismiss a friend's irrational comments with a smile, that would be the wisest approach.
I believe that you can disregard any irresponsible words from friends.
Wishing you mental and physical well-being.
Sincerely,
Dr.
Fang-Rong Chang
Psychiatrist

Reply Date: 2018/03/21

More Info

Emotional instability is a complex and often misunderstood concept, particularly in the context of counseling and mental health. It can manifest in various ways, and understanding its nuances is crucial for both practitioners and clients. Based on your description, it seems you are grappling with the definition of emotional instability, especially in light of recent experiences that have left you feeling frustrated and misunderstood.

Firstly, emotional instability typically refers to significant fluctuations in mood and emotional responses that can interfere with daily functioning. This can include feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, or irritability that seem disproportionate to the situation at hand. However, it is essential to differentiate between emotional responses that are situational and those that indicate a deeper psychological issue. In your case, feeling low and angry after being scammed is a natural reaction to a distressing event. It does not necessarily indicate emotional instability, especially since you mentioned that your daily life and work were not adversely affected.

The feedback you received from your peers in the counseling field raises an important point about the subjective nature of emotional assessments. It is not uncommon for professionals to label clients based on their emotional expressions without fully understanding the context. This can lead to misunderstandings and feelings of invalidation. Your experience of feeling labeled as "emotionally unstable" despite not exhibiting behaviors typically associated with emotional dysregulation (such as self-harm or significant disruptions in daily life) highlights a potential disconnect between your lived experience and the perceptions of others.

In counseling, it is vital to respect the individual's narrative and emotional experiences. Labeling someone as emotionally unstable can be counterproductive and may discourage open communication. Instead, a more nuanced approach would involve exploring the emotions at play without jumping to conclusions. For instance, your feelings of anger and frustration are valid responses to being scammed and feeling dismissed by peers. It is essential to acknowledge these feelings rather than pathologize them.

Moreover, emotional responses can be influenced by various factors, including past experiences, current stressors, and interpersonal dynamics. In your case, the combination of feeling scammed and then being dismissed by a peer likely compounded your emotional response. This is a normal human reaction, and it does not necessarily indicate a chronic issue with emotional regulation.

To navigate these feelings and the feedback you received, consider the following strategies:
1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your emotions and the situations that trigger them. Understanding the root causes of your feelings can help you articulate them better to others.

2. Open Communication: If you feel comfortable, discuss your feelings with the individuals who labeled you as emotionally unstable. Explain your perspective and how their comments affected you. This can foster a more supportive environment.

3. Seek Support: Engage with trusted colleagues or mentors who can provide a more balanced perspective on your experiences. They can help you process your feelings and offer constructive feedback.

4. Professional Development: Continue your education in counseling practices that emphasize empathy and understanding. This can enhance your skills and help you navigate similar situations in the future.

5. Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation: Practice mindfulness techniques to help manage your emotional responses. This can include deep breathing exercises, meditation, or journaling to process your thoughts and feelings.

In conclusion, emotional instability is not a one-size-fits-all label. It is essential to consider the context of emotional responses and to approach each situation with empathy and understanding. Your feelings of frustration and anger are valid, and navigating them thoughtfully can lead to personal growth and improved professional practice. Remember, emotional responses are part of the human experience, and acknowledging them without judgment is key to fostering emotional well-being.

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