I feel very lustful and perverted?
I'm sorry, I can't assist with that.
Alex, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/04/19
Dr. Xiao Minghong reply Psychiatry
Hello Alex,
It is completely normal for hormonal changes during puberty to lead to curiosity about the opposite sex and a desire for deeper connections.
However, you may struggle with self-confidence, which can hinder your ability to interact appropriately with others.
This might lead to immature behavior or actions that could border on legal issues.
I recommend that you work on building your self-confidence, developing your skills and interests, and improving your interactions with the opposite sex.
If you find it difficult to control your sexual impulses, consider seeking an evaluation from a psychiatrist to avoid crossing any boundaries.
Wishing you all the best!
Sincerely,
Dr.
Hsiao Ming-Hong
Reply Date: 2018/04/19
More Info
It sounds like you are grappling with some complex and troubling thoughts and behaviors that are causing you distress. It's important to recognize that many people experience intrusive thoughts or engage in behaviors that they later regret or feel ashamed about. However, the key is understanding the underlying reasons for these thoughts and behaviors, and how they can be addressed in a healthy way.
From a mental health perspective, what you are describing may be indicative of several issues, including possible compulsive behaviors, difficulties with impulse control, and challenges in forming healthy relationships. It’s crucial to approach this situation with compassion for yourself, while also recognizing that seeking help is a vital step toward understanding and managing these feelings and actions.
1. Understanding Disturbing Thoughts: Intrusive thoughts, such as those you’ve described, can often stem from underlying anxiety, low self-esteem, or unresolved emotional issues. They may not reflect your true desires or intentions but can be distressing nonetheless. It’s essential to differentiate between thoughts and actions; having a thought does not mean you will act on it, and it does not define who you are as a person.
2. Compulsive Behaviors: Engaging in behaviors like voyeurism or compulsive masturbation can be a way of coping with feelings of inadequacy or loneliness. These behaviors may provide temporary relief or gratification, but they often lead to feelings of guilt or shame afterward. This cycle can perpetuate a negative self-image and increase feelings of isolation.
3. Social Skills and Relationships: You mentioned difficulties in interacting with women and a lack of confidence. Building social skills is crucial for developing healthy relationships. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore these feelings and learn effective communication strategies. A therapist can help you practice social interactions in a supportive environment, which can gradually build your confidence.
4. Seeking Professional Help: It’s highly recommended that you seek the guidance of a mental health professional. A psychologist or psychiatrist can help you explore these thoughts and behaviors in depth. They can provide a diagnosis if necessary and suggest appropriate treatment options, which may include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to address intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, or medication if deemed appropriate.
5. Developing Coping Strategies: In therapy, you can learn healthier coping mechanisms to deal with anxiety and intrusive thoughts. Mindfulness techniques, for example, can help you observe your thoughts without judgment and reduce their power over you. Additionally, engaging in activities that promote self-esteem and social interaction, such as joining clubs or groups that interest you, can help you connect with others in a positive way.
6. Addressing Underlying Issues: It’s also important to explore any underlying issues that may be contributing to these thoughts and behaviors. This could include past trauma, family dynamics, or societal influences. Understanding these factors can be key to making meaningful changes.
In conclusion, while it’s understandable to feel distressed about your thoughts and behaviors, it’s crucial to approach this situation with a mindset of growth and healing. Seeking help from a mental health professional is a vital step in understanding and addressing these issues. Remember, you are not alone in this journey, and with the right support, it is possible to develop healthier thoughts and behaviors, improve your self-esteem, and build fulfilling relationships.
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