Addressing Anxiety: Concerns About Shared Living Spaces and Hygiene - Psychiatry

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Recent issues that have arisen?


Hello Doctor,
Case 1: Recently, I rented a house with some friends, and the refrigerator in the kitchen has been having issues.
I called a technician to take a look, but since I was busy, I let him fix it by himself while I wasn't home, and there was no one else in the house.
Due to past experiences and news about male students misusing their senior's water bottles, as well as recent pranks by convenience store employees, I started to worry that he might tamper with the food and drinks in the refrigerator or the water in the kettle.
For example, I feared he might spit in it, ejaculate, add substances, or put dirty cloths in it.
I know that most people have good morals, except for a few who have committed such acts, but I find it hard not to think about the possibility of the technician being that kind of person.
I also feel guilty for thinking of him in such a negative light.
Case 2: In the building where I live, there are two rooms on one floor and one bathroom.
I started to think that while I am showering, if my upstairs roommate is using the toilet, the water I use might be contaminated.
I know that the plumbing is separate, but I can't help but think this way.
I even find myself trying to use the bathroom quickly when I know no one else is around.
This has been bothering me lately, and I hope you can give me some advice.
Thank you.

Niming, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/05/09

Dr. Liang Sunyuan reply Psychiatry


Hello: It is common for individuals to experience excessive worry at certain stages, and this is often just a temporary phenomenon.
It is advisable to first accept the reality of being prone to excessive worry.
When excessive worry arises again, try to smile internally and remind yourself that you are worrying excessively once more.
Then, proceed to engage in other activities that you should be doing.
It is recommended to dilute the impact of this excessive worry by focusing on other more important and interesting people, events, or things.
If the worry continues to be bothersome, it is advisable to seek medical assistance.

Reply Date: 2018/05/09

More Info


It's understandable to feel anxious about shared living spaces, especially when it comes to hygiene and the behavior of others. Your concerns, while they may seem extreme, are not uncommon among individuals who are navigating shared environments. The anxiety you are experiencing can stem from a variety of factors, including past experiences, a heightened sense of vulnerability, and a natural inclination to want to control your surroundings.

In your first scenario, the anxiety about the repairman potentially tampering with your food or drinks reflects a deeper fear of losing control over your personal space and belongings. This fear can be exacerbated by sensational news stories that highlight the worst of human behavior, leading to a general mistrust of others. It's important to recognize that while these thoughts may feel very real, they often do not reflect the reality of the situation. Most repair professionals are just that—professionals who are there to do their job and have no interest in causing harm or discomfort.

To address these feelings, consider implementing some strategies to manage your anxiety:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Techniques: Challenge your anxious thoughts by questioning their validity. Ask yourself, "What evidence do I have that this repairman will act inappropriately?" Often, you will find that your fears are based on assumptions rather than facts.

2. Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Practice mindfulness to help bring your focus back to the present moment. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or grounding exercises can help reduce anxiety when you start to feel overwhelmed.

3. Set Boundaries: If it helps, you might consider being present during repairs or asking a friend to be there with you. This can provide a sense of security and control over the situation.

In your second scenario, the concern about using the bathroom while someone else is using the toilet above you is another manifestation of anxiety. You are aware that plumbing systems are designed to prevent cross-contamination, yet the fear persists. This is a common issue known as "catastrophizing," where one imagines the worst possible outcome.

To cope with these feelings:
1. Educate Yourself: Understanding how plumbing works can alleviate some fears. Knowing that the systems are designed to keep waste and clean water separate can help reinforce the idea that your concerns are unfounded.

2. Limit Exposure to Triggers: If certain news stories or social media content heighten your anxiety, consider limiting your exposure to them. Curate your media consumption to include more positive or neutral content.

3. Talk About Your Feelings: Sharing your concerns with trusted friends or family can provide relief. They may offer reassurance or share similar experiences, which can help normalize your feelings.

4. Seek Professional Help: If your anxiety continues to interfere with your daily life, consider speaking with a mental health professional. They can provide tailored strategies and support to help you manage your anxiety effectively.

In conclusion, it's essential to acknowledge your feelings and understand that they are valid, even if they may seem irrational. By employing coping strategies and seeking support, you can work towards reducing your anxiety about shared living spaces and hygiene concerns. Remember, it's okay to ask for help and take steps to create a living environment that feels safe and comfortable for you.

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