Struggling with Depression and Skin Picking: A Journey to Healing - Psychiatry

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Depression / Dermatillomania


I am currently unemployed and have only done some part-time jobs.
After graduating from university, I prepared for civil service exams due to my parents' expectations, even though I understood that this was not what I truly wanted.
I reluctantly studied for it.
In the past few years, I have made multiple attempts to pursue my interests, but I was always met with my parents' obstacles, criticism, and even cold remarks.
Several years have passed, and I have now lost my passion for my original dreams and find myself in a state of giving up on myself.
I feel powerless and unmotivated regarding my past ideals and aspirations.

I generally have a harmonious relationship with my parents, and they treat me well, but perhaps it is too suppressive.
Sometimes, when I disagree with them, after venting my anger, I find myself suddenly feeling sad and crying when I retreat to my own space.
I fear showing my vulnerable side to others; it seems that anger is just a way to mask my feelings.
After getting angry, I often feel regret and apologize.

In recent months, I have frequently picked at the skin around my thumbs and the inner sides of my fingers.
I do this when I am anxious, and even during relaxed moments like watching TV or browsing the internet.
Although I haven't drawn blood, I have likely picked at the skin down to the underlying layers, and sometimes it causes a dull pain.
Life seems to have lost its hope.
I haven't engaged in any serious self-harm, but I occasionally entertain thoughts of wishing my life could end and start over.
I feel like I should consult a psychiatrist, but I am anxious about face-to-face conversations and worry about an emotional breakdown.

Nìmíng, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/08/18

Dr. Huang Jiabin reply Psychiatry


Hello: It sounds like you have been unable to resolve the current conflicts.
You are anxious, which leads you to pick at the edges and inner skin of your thumbs; you are depressed, which causes you to pick until it hurts, making you aware of it; perhaps you feel a sense of nihilism, subconsciously manifesting in this way to harm yourself.
This situation can be addressed, and you need to readjust your cognitive framework.
Of course, this is not something one can do alone, which is why psychological therapy exists.
Let a professional evaluate your situation; you have been working hard, so don't lose hope!

Reply Date: 2018/08/18

More Info


Struggling with depression and skin picking can be a challenging journey, and it’s important to recognize that you are not alone in this experience. Many individuals face similar feelings of hopelessness, anxiety, and the urge to self-soothe through behaviors like skin picking. Understanding the underlying issues and seeking appropriate help can be crucial steps toward healing.

Firstly, it’s essential to acknowledge the emotional turmoil you are experiencing. The pressure from parental expectations, especially when they conflict with your own desires, can lead to significant stress and feelings of inadequacy. This conflict often manifests as a loss of passion for your dreams and aspirations, leading to a sense of disconnection from your true self. It’s not uncommon for individuals in such situations to feel trapped, leading to emotional outbursts followed by feelings of regret and sadness.

The act of skin picking, or dermatillomania, is often a coping mechanism for managing anxiety and emotional distress. It can provide a temporary distraction or relief from overwhelming feelings, but it can also lead to physical harm and further emotional distress. Recognizing this behavior as a symptom of deeper emotional struggles is an important step. It’s a way of expressing internal pain and discomfort when words may fail to convey what you’re feeling.

Given your situation, seeking help from a mental health professional is a vital step. While the thought of face-to-face conversations may be daunting, therapists are trained to create a safe and supportive environment where you can express your feelings without judgment. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one effective approach for treating both depression and skin picking. CBT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping strategies.
Additionally, it may be beneficial to explore mindfulness and relaxation techniques. Practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help ground you in the present moment and reduce anxiety. These techniques can also provide alternative ways to cope with overwhelming emotions, reducing the urge to engage in skin picking.

It’s also important to communicate with your parents about your feelings, if you feel comfortable doing so. They may not fully understand the impact of their expectations on your mental health. Open dialogue can foster a more supportive environment and help them recognize the importance of your emotional well-being over societal or familial expectations.

Lastly, consider joining support groups, either in-person or online, where you can connect with others who share similar experiences. Sharing your journey with others can provide validation and reduce feelings of isolation.
In summary, while the journey through depression and skin picking can be arduous, it is possible to find healing and regain a sense of hope. By seeking professional help, practicing self-care, and fostering open communication with loved ones, you can begin to navigate your emotions more effectively and work toward a healthier, more fulfilling life. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and taking that first step can lead to significant positive changes in your life.

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