Intrusive Memories: Coping with PTSD and Selective Amnesia

Images unconsciously emerge in the mind..?

I previously experienced psychogenic amnesia, and I don't remember how much I forgot or what caused the forgetfulness.
Recently, fragmented images have begun to surface, leading me to believe that my amnesia may be related to family conflicts.
However, the images I recall are completely silent; I can't remember what was said or what the argument was about.
I only remember the expressions and actions, along with an overwhelming sense of fear that lingers.
In the past, due to some troubling issues at home, I developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Since then, I have easily triggered whenever I hear topics related to family.
The images from that day keep resurfacing in my mind, and the people in those images seem to be screaming; I just feel very scared, very scared.
Then I can't stop trembling and gasping for breath.
But my PTSD was several years ago, and I've been doing well for the past couple of years.
Until recently, memories began to involuntarily resurface, accompanied by headaches and insomnia.
All I really want is to sleep well, to live my life without bothering anyone, but the involuntary images make it hard for me to even get a good night's sleep; I either suffer from insomnia or have vivid dreams filled with inexplicable sadness and fear.
My family and I have always known that my memories are not complete, but according to them, forgetting memories is not a new occurrence, and almost all of the forgotten memories are sad and painful.
So they just tell me to let it go; I am simply choosing to forget.
However, I don't want to forget my memories more than anyone else, whether they are sad or happy, as they are the only moments shared with the people who were there with me.
But when it seems like I can finally remember something, I feel scared again.
The subconscious images trigger my PTSD, and fear surrounds me once more.
Moreover, my family and friends, who are aware of everything I’ve gone through, are moving forward, and I don’t want to drag everyone back into the past because of me.
My therapist often tells me that everything is fine before I can finish speaking, and my family doesn't want to hear about it either.
Yet, the fear, sadness, and sleep issues brought on by those images are very distressing, and I haven't let anyone know.
I thought it would pass in a few days, but it hasn't, especially as the fear during the image resurfacing becomes more intense.
What should I do...?

weid, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2018/11/04

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

Your psychologist refers to a "psychiatrist"? It is advisable to ask him or her for a referral to receive individual psychotherapy, which would allow for more time to address and process these internal psychological conflicts.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Reply Date: 2018/11/04

More Info

Coping with intrusive memories, especially in the context of PTSD and selective amnesia, can be a challenging and distressing experience. It’s important to understand that what you are going through is not uncommon among individuals who have faced traumatic events, particularly those related to family conflicts or other significant stressors. The memories that surface, even if fragmented or devoid of sound, can evoke strong emotional responses, including fear and anxiety, which can lead to physical symptoms such as trembling and difficulty breathing.

First, it’s crucial to recognize that the brain often employs mechanisms like selective amnesia as a protective strategy. This means that when faced with overwhelming emotional pain, the mind may block out certain memories to help the individual cope. However, as you have experienced, these memories can resurface unexpectedly, often triggered by specific cues or discussions related to the trauma. This can lead to a cycle of anxiety and distress, making it difficult to engage in daily life or achieve restful sleep.

Here are several strategies that may help you cope with these intrusive memories and the associated symptoms:
1. Therapeutic Support: Continuing to work with a mental health professional is vital. While it may feel frustrating when your therapist seems to dismiss your concerns, it’s important to communicate openly about your feelings. If you feel that your current therapist is not addressing your needs, consider seeking a second opinion or finding a therapist who specializes in trauma and PTSD. Therapists trained in trauma-informed care can provide you with techniques to process these memories safely.

2. Grounding Techniques: When intrusive memories arise, grounding techniques can help you stay connected to the present moment. This may include deep breathing exercises, focusing on your surroundings, or engaging in mindfulness practices. Techniques such as the 5-4-3-2-1 method, where you identify five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste, can help anchor you in the present.

3. Journaling: Writing about your experiences can be a powerful tool for processing emotions. You might find it helpful to keep a journal where you can express your thoughts and feelings about the memories that surface. This can also serve as a way to track your emotional responses and identify patterns or triggers.

4. Gradual Exposure: If you feel ready, gradually exposing yourself to discussions or media related to your family or the events that caused your trauma can help desensitize your emotional response. This should be done at your own pace, and it may be beneficial to do this with the support of a therapist.

5. Sleep Hygiene: Since you mentioned difficulties with sleep, establishing a consistent sleep routine can be beneficial. This includes going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, creating a relaxing bedtime routine, and minimizing exposure to screens before sleep. If nightmares or intrusive thoughts disrupt your sleep, consider discussing this with your healthcare provider, as they may recommend specific interventions or medications to help.

6. Support Networks: While it may feel isolating to deal with these memories, connecting with others who have similar experiences can be comforting. Support groups, either in-person or online, can provide a safe space to share your feelings and learn from others who understand what you’re going through.

7. Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself as you navigate these feelings. It’s normal to have ups and downs in your emotional journey, and acknowledging your feelings without judgment can be a significant step toward healing.

In conclusion, while the resurgence of intrusive memories can be distressing, there are effective strategies to help you cope. It’s essential to seek professional support and utilize coping techniques that resonate with you. Remember, healing is a process, and it’s okay to take the time you need to work through your experiences. You are not alone in this journey, and with the right support and strategies, it is possible to find relief and regain a sense of peace in your life.

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