and Managing Stress-Induced Hallucinations and Memory Loss

Recently, it has been occurring quite frequently?

About four years ago, during middle school, I experienced similar issues when under significant stress, such as auditory hallucinations and mild amnesia.
I often heard chain-like sounds and two overlapping musical notes (similar to a police siren but much lower and slower).
The amnesia was mild; I would snap back to reality and find myself at my destination, or during conversations, I might suddenly forget who I was talking to or what I was doing.
At that time, I was just anxious, but it didn't severely impact my life.
Given the immense pressures I faced (sexual assault, bullying, parental divorce, preparing for exams), mild amnesia as a protective mechanism of the brain is quite normal.
Anxiety can indeed cause abnormal brain discharges that lead to auditory hallucinations.
After all, since I was bullied, I had little opportunity for face-to-face conversations, and texting allowed me to review my words to avoid saying something wrong.
No one mentioned these symptoms to me after high school, and I felt that my daily life was manageable.
When things got slightly worse, it even helped me cope with life.
However, recently, things have become really frightening.
As I write this, I can hear knocking on the door.
I know it’s not real, but it’s still terrifying.
I’ve started to feel like I can't control myself.
For example, I love my boyfriend and our pet, but recently, when I see them, I feel an indescribable pressure that leads me to yell at them like a madwoman.
Then, there’s a gap in my memory; my boyfriend recorded a video of me holding a pillow and glaring at him.
What’s even scarier is that he said I didn’t just suddenly go crazy; I used to hit and grab him often and even showed me scars on his hands.
Before this, I had no idea about it! I know asking this might get me criticized, but I really don’t want to waste healthcare resources by seeing a doctor.
Is there any way I can increase my control over my body without seeing a doctor?

Tuzi, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2022/04/28

Dr. Wu Enliang reply Psychiatry

If you are not keen on seeking medical treatment, you might consider the free psychological counseling services provided by the health bureaus in various counties and cities.
It's a good idea to talk to a professional psychologist to find solutions.
- Dr.
Wu En-Liang

Reply Date: 2022/04/28

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a complex interplay of stress, anxiety, and memory issues that can be quite distressing. Your symptoms, including auditory hallucinations and selective memory loss, are often linked to high levels of stress and trauma. It’s important to understand that these experiences can be a response to overwhelming situations, such as bullying, family issues, and other significant life stressors.
When the brain is under extreme stress, it can react in various ways, including the manifestation of hallucinations and memory lapses. This is sometimes referred to as a dissociative response, where the mind attempts to protect itself from overwhelming emotions or memories by disconnecting from reality or blocking certain memories. The auditory hallucinations you describe, such as hearing knocking sounds, can occur when the brain is in a heightened state of anxiety or stress. This is not uncommon, especially in individuals who have experienced trauma.

Your mention of feeling out of control, particularly in your interactions with loved ones, is also a significant concern. It’s crucial to recognize that these feelings can stem from unresolved trauma and anxiety. The fact that you are aware of your love for your boyfriend and pets, yet feel compelled to react in ways that are contrary to those feelings, suggests a disconnect that can be very troubling. This can be a sign of emotional dysregulation, which is often seen in individuals who have experienced trauma or chronic stress.

While you express a reluctance to seek professional help, it’s important to consider that mental health professionals can provide valuable support and strategies to help you manage these symptoms. Therapy, particularly trauma-informed therapy, can help you process past experiences and develop coping mechanisms for stress and anxiety. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one effective approach that can help you reframe negative thought patterns and reduce anxiety.

In the meantime, there are several self-help strategies you can implement to regain a sense of control over your body and mind:
1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help ground you in the present moment and reduce anxiety. Techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided imagery can be beneficial.

2. Physical Activity: Regular exercise can significantly reduce stress and anxiety levels. It helps release endorphins, which can improve your mood and overall sense of well-being.

3. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process emotions and gain insight into your experiences. It can also help you track patterns in your mood and behavior.

4. Establishing a Routine: Creating a daily routine can provide structure and predictability, which can be comforting during times of stress.

5. Limit Stressors: Identify and minimize exposure to situations or people that trigger your anxiety. Setting boundaries can help you feel more in control.

6. Support System: Reach out to trusted friends or family members who can provide support. Sometimes, just talking about what you’re experiencing can alleviate some of the burden.

7. Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Ensure you are eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough sleep. These factors can significantly impact your mental health.

While these strategies can be helpful, they are not a substitute for professional help. If your symptoms persist or worsen, I strongly encourage you to reconsider seeking the guidance of a mental health professional. Remember, taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. You deserve support and understanding as you navigate these challenges.

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