Overcoming Anxiety About Responsibility: A Mental Health Perspective

I am worried about the things I am responsible for?

I have noticed that whenever I encounter situations where I need to take responsibility, I feel very anxious.
This symptom has recently emerged, and it even relates to events from a long time ago.
For example, I suddenly recalled a time in high school when I helped process a refund, but I don't understand why I would think about it now while in college.
I keep worrying if I actually refunded that person.
Even though I know I did, I still fear that I might have forgotten to return the money to someone, which makes me anxious about potentially having taken someone else's money.
Because of this, I even messaged a high school classmate to ask if I had refunded them (which I did).
Recently, when a student I was tutoring had to leave early due to health issues, I refunded the parents' payment.
However, I was extremely worried that if I accidentally lost the money during the process, the parents might suspect that I hadn't refunded it.
So, I ended up messaging them, writing in the contact book, and taking photos as proof.
I have started to feel anxious about every transaction I handle because I don't have receipts to confirm that I have managed the money properly.
I have always been someone who worries about trivial matters and often doubts my memory.
I have realized that my memory is quite poor.
While it doesn't affect my academic performance (I have achieved good results in both my studies and work, but I still feel anxious about it), I struggle to remember everyday details.
For instance, a classmate borrowed money from me, and after some time, I asked if they had repaid me.
They said they did, but I have no recollection of it.
I believe that classmate is trustworthy, but I genuinely cannot remember.

I am developing a fear of handling money.
If someone was supposed to repay me but didn't, I wouldn't feel as anxious because that wouldn't be my fault.
However, if I owe someone money and haven't paid them back, that would be very troubling, as even an accidental oversight could cause inconvenience to others.
What should I do?

Niming, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/01/03

Dr. Huang Xiaoxian reply Psychiatry

Dear Grace, thank you for your question.
You mentioned that you originally have a tendency to worry, and recently you have been feeling anxious about various issues related to financial repayments and obligations, requiring you to seek numerous confirmations and verifications.
This indicates that you are in a relatively anxious state.
I wonder if you have experienced any sudden stressors recently? It is advisable to seek medical assistance for further evaluation of these anxiety symptoms, which can provide appropriate treatment and counseling for improvement.

Reply Date: 2019/01/03

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing significant anxiety related to responsibility and financial transactions, which is impacting your daily life and mental well-being. This type of anxiety is not uncommon, especially among individuals who are conscientious and care deeply about their responsibilities. Let's explore some strategies to help you manage this anxiety and regain a sense of control.

Understanding Your Anxiety
First, it's important to recognize that anxiety often stems from a fear of making mistakes or letting others down. This fear can be exacerbated by past experiences, such as feeling responsible for financial matters or having a poor memory regarding transactions. Your tendency to double-check and seek reassurance from others, like your high school classmates or parents, indicates that you are trying to mitigate your anxiety through validation. However, this can create a cycle of worry and reinforce your fears rather than alleviate them.

Cognitive Behavioral Techniques
One effective approach to managing anxiety is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns. Here are some steps you can take:
1. Identify Negative Thoughts: Start by writing down the specific thoughts that trigger your anxiety. For instance, when you think, "What if I forgot to refund someone?" note that down.

2. Challenge Those Thoughts: Ask yourself questions like, "What evidence do I have that I forgot?" or "What is the worst that could happen if I did?" Often, you will find that your fears are exaggerated.

3. Reframe Your Thinking: Replace negative thoughts with more balanced ones. For example, instead of thinking, "I must have forgotten to refund," you could say, "I have a good track record of handling refunds, and I can check if needed."

Practical Strategies
In addition to cognitive techniques, consider implementing practical strategies to help manage your responsibilities:
1. Keep a Record: Maintain a simple ledger or digital record of all transactions. This can include dates, amounts, and the purpose of the transaction. Having a visual record can provide reassurance and reduce the need to rely on memory.

2. Set Reminders: Use your phone or a calendar app to set reminders for important tasks, such as refunds or payments. This can help alleviate the pressure of remembering everything.

3. Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises. These can help ground you in the present moment and reduce anxiety about past or future responsibilities.

4. Limit Information Seeking: While it’s natural to seek reassurance, try to limit the amount of time you spend checking in with others about past transactions. Set a specific time to address these concerns and then move on.

Seeking Professional Help
If your anxiety continues to interfere with your daily life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. A therapist can work with you to develop coping strategies tailored to your specific needs and help you address any underlying issues contributing to your anxiety.

Conclusion
Remember, it’s okay to feel anxious about responsibilities, especially when they involve financial matters. By implementing cognitive-behavioral techniques, practical strategies, and possibly seeking professional help, you can learn to manage your anxiety more effectively. Over time, you may find that your confidence in handling responsibilities increases, and your anxiety diminishes. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this process, and celebrate small victories along the way.

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