The brain needs a break?
It’s easy to be concerned about what others think and fear that they might not like us.
When we express our dissatisfaction or show that we are in a bad mood, we often feel guilty, worried about making others unhappy.
Sometimes, it feels like we are trying to please others at the expense of our own happiness.
We tend to prioritize others' feelings over our own, which can be exhausting.
It feels like we are living for others or easily internalizing their life pressures as our own, such as when a friend is facing job instability or preparing for a national exam while we have stable employment.
This can lead to feelings of guilt, as if we are somehow at fault for our own success.
We should recognize that our achievements are the result of our hard work, yet we struggle to affirm this and feel guilty for doing well while our friends are struggling.
Some friends seem to manage their responsibilities clearly, understanding that everyone must bear their own burdens.
It’s important to practice self-care and prioritize our own well-being without fearing that others will be unhappy or dislike us.
Our minds need rest, as overthinking can lead to feelings of depression and discomfort.
This can prevent us from relaxing and feeling at ease, leading to tension.
How can we help ourselves in this situation?
ia, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/04/05
Dr. Huang Xiaoxian reply Psychiatry
Dear IA, thank you for your question.
It sounds like you have been feeling anxious lately, experiencing low mood, and being affected by interpersonal relationships.
Your mind seems to be constantly ruminating on past events, which may indicate some signs of anxiety or depression.
I recommend that you visit a mental health clinic for an evaluation to determine if appropriate medication and counseling are needed.
Additionally, I suggest scheduling activities that you enjoy to relieve stress, redirect your focus, and achieve relaxation.
Wishing you a swift improvement.
Reply Date: 2019/04/05
More Info
Finding peace amidst anxiety and guilt can be a challenging journey, especially when you find yourself overly concerned about others' feelings and opinions. This tendency to prioritize others' emotions over your own can lead to a cycle of guilt and anxiety, making it difficult to find balance and peace within yourself. Here are some strategies that may help you navigate these feelings and cultivate a healthier mindset.
Understanding the Root of Your Feelings
First, it's essential to recognize that your feelings of guilt and anxiety often stem from a deep-seated desire for approval and acceptance. This is a common human experience, but when it becomes overwhelming, it can lead to emotional distress. Understanding that it's okay to have your own feelings and that they are valid is the first step toward healing. You are not responsible for managing others' emotions; everyone has their own journey and challenges.
Setting Boundaries
One effective way to alleviate the pressure you feel is by establishing healthy boundaries. This means recognizing when you are taking on too much of others' emotional burdens and learning to say no when necessary. It's important to communicate your needs and feelings to your friends and family. For example, if a friend is going through a tough time, it's okay to offer support without sacrificing your own emotional well-being. You can be there for them while also prioritizing your own mental health.
Practicing Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is crucial in overcoming feelings of guilt and anxiety. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling good about your stable job while your friend struggles, try to acknowledge your hard work and achievements. Remind yourself that everyone has their own path, and it's okay to celebrate your successes without feeling guilty. Engage in positive self-talk and treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend in a similar situation.
Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques
Incorporating mindfulness practices into your daily routine can significantly help in managing anxiety and promoting relaxation. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga can help ground you in the present moment and reduce feelings of tension. When you find your mind racing with worries about others, take a moment to pause, breathe deeply, and focus on your own feelings. This practice can help create a sense of calm and clarity.
Seeking Professional Support
If you find that your feelings of anxiety and guilt are persistent and overwhelming, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A mental health professional can provide you with tools and strategies tailored to your specific situation. Therapy can offer a safe space to explore your feelings, understand their origins, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Engaging in Activities That Bring You Joy
Make time for activities that you enjoy and that bring you a sense of fulfillment. Whether it's pursuing a hobby, spending time in nature, or engaging in creative outlets, these activities can serve as a reminder of your worth and help shift your focus away from others' expectations. Engaging in what you love can also foster a sense of community and connection, which is vital for emotional well-being.
Conclusion
Finding peace in the midst of anxiety and guilt is a process that requires patience and self-awareness. By setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, engaging in mindfulness, and seeking support when needed, you can begin to cultivate a healthier relationship with yourself and others. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and to recognize that you are deserving of happiness and peace, just as much as anyone else.
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