My Boyfriend's Recent Fetish: Is It a Serious Issue? - Psychiatry

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My boyfriend has a fetish?


Hello, regarding the previous inquiry #146116, my boyfriend is 32 years old and has recently started to masturbate while smelling his own underwear.
The frequency is not high, and I have subtly asked him about it, but he pretends to know nothing and denies it, as if he is not the one doing it.
This behavior has only started in the past couple of months.
Currently, I am pregnant, and we have been having less sexual activity because of the baby.
Is this issue serious?

Xinxin, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2019/05/14

Dr. Wang Zhenyang reply Psychiatry


Hello, Miss: If the frequency of your recent sexual activities has decreased, your boyfriend's behavior may not be serious.
Human sexual fantasies are inherently diverse, and if your boyfriend's situation is not causing distress to himself or you, it may be worth observing further.
Dr.
Wang Zhenyang, Attending Physician and Director, Community Psychiatry Department, Taoyuan Psychiatric Hospital, Ministry of Health and Welfare, 71 Longshou Street, Taoyuan District, Taoyuan City, TEL: 03-3698553 ext 2027 FAX: 03-3699498

Reply Date: 2019/05/14

More Info


Understanding your boyfriend's recent fetish, particularly his interest in smelling used underwear, can indeed be a complex issue. It's important to approach this topic with sensitivity and an open mind, especially given the context of your relationship and your current pregnancy.

First, it's essential to recognize that fetishes, including those related to clothing or specific materials, are not uncommon. Many individuals have unique preferences that may not align with societal norms, and these preferences can vary widely in terms of their intensity and frequency. In your boyfriend's case, the fact that this behavior has only recently emerged and is not excessively frequent may suggest that it is more of a curiosity or a temporary exploration rather than a deeply ingrained compulsion.

From a psychological perspective, fetishes can be understood as a form of sexual expression. They often develop as a result of various factors, including personal experiences, emotional connections, or even biological predispositions. It's also worth noting that many people engage in behaviors that they may not fully understand or feel comfortable discussing openly. Your boyfriend's denial or reluctance to acknowledge his actions could stem from feelings of shame or embarrassment, which is not uncommon in individuals who have fetishes.

Given that you are currently pregnant and your sexual activity has decreased, it's possible that your boyfriend is seeking alternative outlets for his sexual expression. This can be a natural response to changes in intimacy and physical connection during pregnancy. However, it's crucial to ensure that both partners feel comfortable and respected in their relationship. Open communication is key to navigating this situation.

Here are some steps you might consider taking:
1. Open Dialogue: Create a safe space for conversation. Let your boyfriend know that you want to understand his feelings and experiences without judgment. This can help him feel more comfortable sharing his thoughts with you.

2. Explore Together: If he is open to it, consider exploring this aspect of his sexuality together. Understanding the context and feelings behind his fetish may help you both navigate this new territory in your relationship.

3. Set Boundaries: It's essential to establish boundaries that make both of you comfortable. If this behavior makes you uneasy, communicate that clearly. Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect and understanding.

4. Seek Professional Guidance: If this issue continues to cause distress or confusion in your relationship, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. A professional can provide a neutral perspective and help both of you explore these feelings in a constructive manner.

5. Assess the Impact: Reflect on how this fetish impacts your relationship. Does it create tension or conflict? Or is it something that you can both navigate together? Understanding the broader implications can help you decide how to proceed.

In conclusion, while your boyfriend's recent fetish may seem concerning, it is essential to approach it with an open mind and a willingness to communicate. Fetishes are a part of human sexuality, and understanding them can lead to deeper intimacy and connection in your relationship. However, it is equally important to ensure that both partners feel comfortable and respected in their sexual expressions. If necessary, don't hesitate to seek professional guidance to navigate this complex issue together.

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