Finding Meaning in Life: Overcoming Feelings of Futility and Pain - Psychiatry

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In the past couple of years, I've been feeling that life is so dull and painful.
I even feel like I'm living for others.
How should I put it? It's like I don't enjoy studying, but due to the expectations of society and others, I have to finish my education.
I have to work to earn money, compete in society, and struggle against countless petty individuals.
After getting married, my husband might cheat, leading to divorce, and I have to raise my children while facing the pain of losing my loved ones one by one.
When my children grow up, they might not be filial, and I will be left with a lifetime of illness, pain, loneliness, and eventually death.
What is the meaning of life? Isn't it just like this? Any living being seems happier than humans, doesn't it? I can't wrap my head around it, which makes me very unhappy.
Everyone has different interests or things they want to do, but first, it's about studying well and earning good money; otherwise, there's nothing to discuss.
For example, wanting to travel but not having money makes it impossible.
Loving art but not being able to make a living from it.
Although there are outstanding individuals in every field, not everyone has that fortune.

mei you xiwang, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2002/11/25

Dr. Li Haogang reply Psychiatry


Dear no hope user: Hello! From your email, it appears that you are experiencing a state of: boredom with life, decreased interest, feelings of powerlessness, disappointment/loss, guilt, negative thoughts, and a pessimistic outlook on the future with no vision.
Clinically, you seem to be struggling with depressive symptoms, which may have reached the level of a depression diagnosis.
I recommend that you seek consultation with a psychiatrist, as your issues can likely be addressed effectively.
Sincerely, Dr.
Liu Jun-Hsien, written on 12/26/2002.

Reply Date: 2002/11/25

More Info


Finding meaning in life can often feel like an elusive quest, especially when faced with the pressures and expectations of society. Your feelings of futility and pain are not uncommon, and many people grapple with similar thoughts at various stages of their lives. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and understand that they can stem from a variety of sources, including societal expectations, personal experiences, and even mental health challenges.

Firstly, let’s address the societal pressures you mentioned. The expectation to excel academically, secure a stable job, and compete in a relentless rat race can be overwhelming. Many individuals feel trapped in a cycle of doing things they do not enjoy simply to meet external expectations. This can lead to a sense of disconnection from one’s true self and passions. It’s crucial to remember that while education and financial stability are important, they do not define your worth or the entirety of your existence.
You expressed a desire to pursue interests such as travel and art, but feel constrained by financial limitations and societal norms. This is a common struggle; however, it’s essential to explore ways to integrate your passions into your life, even in small ways. For instance, you could start by engaging in art as a hobby, which can be fulfilling and therapeutic, without the pressure of making it a career. Similarly, planning budget-friendly travel experiences or local adventures can reignite your sense of wonder and joy.

Moreover, the fear of loneliness and the pain of loss that you mentioned are significant emotional burdens. It’s natural to worry about the future, including the potential for relationship issues or the loss of loved ones. However, focusing on the present and cultivating meaningful relationships can help mitigate these fears. Building a supportive network of friends and family can provide a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of isolation. Engaging in community activities or volunteering can also foster connections and give you a sense of purpose.

In terms of mental health, feelings of despair and hopelessness can sometimes indicate underlying issues such as depression or anxiety. It’s important to seek professional help if these feelings persist. A mental health professional can provide support, coping strategies, and a safe space to explore your emotions. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), for example, can help reframe negative thoughts and develop healthier perspectives on life’s challenges.

Additionally, practicing mindfulness and self-compassion can be beneficial. Mindfulness encourages living in the moment and appreciating the small joys in life, while self-compassion allows you to treat yourself with kindness during difficult times. Engaging in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or journaling, can also enhance your overall mood and outlook on life.

Lastly, it’s essential to redefine what success and happiness mean to you personally. Instead of adhering strictly to societal definitions, consider what brings you joy and fulfillment. This might involve setting personal goals that align with your values and passions rather than external expectations.
In conclusion, while life can indeed feel burdensome and devoid of meaning at times, it’s crucial to explore your interests, build supportive relationships, and seek professional help if needed. By taking small steps towards self-discovery and self-care, you can gradually find a sense of purpose and joy in your life. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and to take the time you need to navigate your feelings. Life is a journey, and finding meaning is often about the small moments of connection and joy along the way.

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