A life that no longer wishes to move forward?
Dr.
Chen: Hello, please do not think that I am challenging your expertise.
I may be older than you, and I wonder if you can understand my situation.
Currently, I am unemployed and have been living in isolation for some time, hiding my unemployment from my family.
I rarely interact with others and spend only a minimal amount on basic living expenses.
I use the computer and newspapers to learn about the outside world, finding one-sided communication safer than interaction.
My only outlet is swimming; the water is gentle, and I don't need a companion, plus it helps me expend energy.
However, I struggle greatly every time I have to go out, exerting a lot of effort.
If it weren't for a small shell I reside in, I would surely be one of the homeless on the streets.
Since childhood, I have lacked confidence in my appearance and abilities, and I have always struggled with motivation.
At work, I constantly worry about being fired, and in friendships (both with men and women), I fear being rejected.
I feel anxious all day, and there are very few moments of true inner peace.
I have read books and sought counseling, but I find myself in a cycle of ups and downs, unable to escape the mire.
Occasionally, I have fleeting thoughts of starting over, but reality cruelly mocks me, reminding me that I am already far along in life.
My body is declining, and I have completely lost motivation and hope for the future.
Reflecting on this period of my life feels extremely barren and dull; my mind is not sharp, and even my memories are fragmented and vague.
Ending it would be easy and would hardly affect anyone, as aside from my parents, no one would be saddened.
My mindset feels somewhat like retirement, yet I feel I have made no contributions and therefore have no right to claim retirement.
In reality, I feel no different from a freeloader or waste.
I am afraid to let acquaintances know about my situation or state of mind.
Right now, I am very tired.
Ban Lao, 40~49 year old female. Ask Date: 2004/04/12
Dr. Chen Jianzhi reply Psychiatry
Your description of the problem is very detailed and insightful, and I believe that most people would be able to understand it (not a professional issue).
Based on your description, depression is a likely preliminary diagnosis.
Generally speaking, the effectiveness of current pharmacological treatments is quite good.
I recommend that you seek consultation at a psychiatric outpatient clinic.
After a period of medication treatment, your condition should improve.
Your self-observation and expression skills are commendable; if you take a more proactive approach and regularly engage in psychotherapy, the results could be even better.
Just getting active will yield certain benefits; even if you do retire, it's important to plan a fulfilling retirement life.
It's never too late!
Reply Date: 2004/04/12
More Info
Hello, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings so openly. It sounds like you are going through a very challenging time, and I want to acknowledge the weight of what you are experiencing. Struggling with isolation and mental health can feel overwhelming, and it's important to recognize that you are not alone in this journey.
From what you’ve described, it seems you are grappling with feelings of inadequacy, isolation, and a lack of motivation. These feelings can stem from various sources, including past experiences, current life circumstances, and even societal pressures. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed, especially when you are in a situation where you feel disconnected from others and uncertain about your future.
You mentioned that you have been living in isolation, avoiding interactions with others, and only engaging with the outside world through passive means like reading the news or browsing the internet. This kind of isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and depression. While it may feel safer to avoid social interactions, it can also lead to a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings that are hard to break. Engaging with others, even in small ways, can help alleviate some of that isolation. It might be beneficial to consider reaching out to someone you trust, whether it's a family member or a friend, to share how you’re feeling. Sometimes, just talking about what you’re going through can provide relief and a sense of connection.
You also mentioned swimming as your only outlet. Physical activity, especially in a soothing environment like water, can be incredibly therapeutic. It not only helps to release endorphins, which can improve your mood, but it also provides a sense of accomplishment and can serve as a form of mindfulness. However, I understand that even the act of going out can feel like a struggle. It might be helpful to set small, achievable goals for yourself, such as simply stepping outside for a few minutes or going for a short walk. Gradually increasing your exposure to the outside world can help reduce the anxiety associated with leaving your home.
Your feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt are common among many individuals, especially those who have faced prolonged periods of unemployment or isolation. It’s important to remember that your worth is not defined by your job or your social interactions. You have intrinsic value as a person, regardless of your current circumstances. Engaging in self-compassion can be a powerful tool in overcoming these feelings. Try to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation.
You mentioned having sought counseling in the past, which is a positive step. If you feel comfortable, consider revisiting therapy or counseling. A mental health professional can provide you with tools and strategies to cope with your feelings and help you navigate this difficult period. They can also assist you in addressing any underlying issues that may be contributing to your current state of mind.
Lastly, it’s crucial to focus on the present and take things one day at a time. Reflecting on the past can often lead to feelings of regret and sadness, while worrying about the future can create anxiety. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help ground you in the present moment and reduce feelings of overwhelm.
In conclusion, while it may feel like you are in a dark place right now, there is hope for change and improvement. Taking small steps towards reconnecting with the world, being kind to yourself, and seeking support can lead to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, and you deserve to find peace and happiness in your life.
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