Overcoming Anxiety and Depression: A Journey Through Trauma and Healing

Anxiety, panic, tension, depression?

Hello, doctor.
I am currently 19 years old and in my first year of college.
From middle school to high school, my family was not very harmonious, and there were often arguments.
My mother suffers from bipolar disorder and frequently says hurtful things to me, such as telling me to go die.
I have felt extremely sad because of these words, and since then, my mental health has not been good.
I often visit the school counseling office, and after talking and crying, I usually feel much better.
When I was in high school, my parents divorced, which was also very difficult for me.
There was one incident where my mother physically abused me at home, leaving bruises on my face and arms.
I endured it for a long time and planned to report the domestic violence.
I have already experienced a lot of mental torment.
Later, I had a panic attack where I felt like I was going to die, with rapid breathing and chest tightness.
I eventually saw a doctor and was prescribed medication for my autonomic nervous system, which helped improve my condition somewhat.
The social services also assigned a social worker to help me and monitor my situation.
Now that I am in my first year of college, I wanted to escape the torment from my family, so I rented a place to live alone.
However, my situation has not improved; it has actually worsened.
I have become very afraid of being alone, worried that I might die by myself, and I have many excessive worries.
My mind is filled with negativity, and I feel very lost and sad about my current situation.
The shadows of my past have caused me to feel extremely insecure about living; everything feels fake and unreal, and I often wish to escape this feeling, yet I feel powerless and at a loss.
Gradually, I have developed some depression and anxiety, with my pulse often exceeding 100, even reaching as high as 140.
I have tried exercising to improve my mood, but I often experience chest pain.
At this point, I feel negative and worry that I might suddenly have a rapid heartbeat and die.
The social worker has also helped me find a psychologist, and the school is arranging for me to receive both medication and counseling for simultaneous treatment.
I want to know if I will get better, as the psychological trauma from my past is significant and makes me feel very insecure about living.
Especially since my mother showed no guilt or apology for her abusive behavior, and my father has been indifferent, not wanting to escalate the situation, I feel a lack of recognition and psychological support from my family regarding my illness, which makes me feel even more lost.
Whenever I experience a health crisis or physical discomfort, they do not help me face my condition; they only tell me not to think too much, which leaves me feeling helpless, frustrated, and depressed.
Whenever I have thoughts of wanting to die, my friends and the teachers who help me are my sources of support, so I bravely face my condition.
I hope you can provide me with some suggestions to improve my situation and treatment.
Thank you very much!

yi, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/02/24

Dr. Lü Shangheng reply Psychiatry

Hello, what you are experiencing is quite challenging, and it is not easy at all.
However, there are many people around you who are helping you.
Since you are already receiving assistance, generally speaking, the treatment for anxiety and panic disorders includes both pharmacological and non-pharmacological approaches.
I recommend discussing your current situation further with your treating physician and counselor to explore the most beneficial options for you.
Wishing you all the best.

Reply Date: 2020/02/24

More Info

Overcoming anxiety and depression, especially in the context of trauma, is a complex journey that requires a multifaceted approach. Your experiences, particularly with family conflict, mental illness in a parent, and instances of abuse, have understandably left deep emotional scars. It’s commendable that you are seeking help and are open to discussing your feelings and experiences.
Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that the feelings you are experiencing—fear, anxiety, depression, and a sense of unreality—are valid responses to the trauma you have endured. Trauma can significantly affect mental health, leading to conditions such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), anxiety disorders, and depression. The symptoms you describe, including panic attacks, feelings of being overwhelmed, and physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, are common in individuals who have experienced significant emotional distress.

Your journey through therapy and medication is a crucial step. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for anxiety and depression, as it helps individuals identify and challenge negative thought patterns. It can also provide coping strategies to manage anxiety and improve emotional regulation. Additionally, exposure therapy may be beneficial if you find yourself avoiding situations that remind you of your trauma. This therapeutic approach gradually exposes you to those triggers in a safe environment, helping to reduce fear over time.

Medication can also play a vital role in your recovery. Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications can help stabilize mood and reduce anxiety symptoms. It’s essential to work closely with your healthcare provider to find the right medication and dosage for you, as this can take time and may require adjustments.

In addition to professional treatment, there are several self-care strategies you can incorporate into your daily routine to support your mental health:
1. Establish a Routine: Creating a daily schedule can provide structure and a sense of normalcy, which can be comforting during chaotic times.

2. Physical Activity: Regular exercise is known to release endorphins, which can improve mood and reduce anxiety. Even gentle activities like walking or yoga can be beneficial.

3. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or progressive muscle relaxation can help manage anxiety and promote a sense of calm.

4. Social Support: Continue to lean on friends, supportive teachers, and social workers. Building a network of understanding individuals can provide emotional support and reduce feelings of isolation.

5. Journaling: Writing about your feelings can be a therapeutic outlet. It allows you to process your emotions and reflect on your experiences.

6. Limit Negative Influences: If possible, try to distance yourself from toxic relationships that exacerbate your feelings of anxiety and depression. Surround yourself with positive influences that uplift you.

7. Seek Professional Help: Continue with therapy and medication as prescribed. If you feel your current therapist isn’t meeting your needs, don’t hesitate to seek a second opinion or find someone who specializes in trauma.

8. Educate Yourself: Understanding your mental health condition can empower you. Knowledge about anxiety and depression can demystify your experiences and help you feel more in control.

9. Emergency Plan: If you ever feel overwhelmed or have thoughts of self-harm, it’s crucial to have a plan in place. This could include reaching out to a trusted friend, calling a crisis hotline, or seeking immediate medical attention.

Recovery from trauma and mental health challenges is often non-linear, with ups and downs along the way. It’s essential to be patient with yourself and recognize that healing takes time. Celebrate small victories and progress, no matter how minor they may seem.

Lastly, remember that you are not alone in this journey. Many individuals have successfully navigated similar paths and found healing and hope. Your courage in seeking help and your willingness to confront your feelings are significant steps toward recovery. Keep advocating for yourself, and continue to seek the support you need.

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