Late-Onset Sexual Desire Issues at Age 39 - Psychiatry

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Sexual desire issues


At 38 years old, I have only recently started to experience sexual desire, which is typically expected in one's twenties.
I often think about seeking out sex workers, but I don't have the financial means to do so.
What should I do? I have asked this question before!

W, 30~39 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/08/30

Dr. Huang Xiaoxian reply Psychiatry


Hello: Sexual desire may naturally arise and become active after puberty, so experiencing this phenomenon is quite normal.
Ideally, it would be best to find a partner.
I wonder if you have a stable job? It seems that the key lies in interpersonal relationships; if you engage in normal social interactions and meet people of the opposite sex, you may find a suitable partner.
If you encounter obstacles in your interpersonal relationships, you might consider seeking medical advice for psychological counseling.
Wishing you all the best!

Reply Date: 2020/08/30

More Info


At the age of 39, experiencing a resurgence of sexual desire can be both confusing and concerning, especially if you feel that this is occurring later than what is typically expected. It's important to understand that sexual desire is influenced by a variety of factors, including hormonal changes, psychological well-being, and life circumstances.
Firstly, it's essential to recognize that sexual desire can fluctuate significantly throughout a person's life. While many people experience heightened sexual desire in their 20s, this is not a universal experience. Factors such as stress, mental health, relationship dynamics, and even physical health can all play a role in shaping one's sexual appetite. For some, sexual desire may not peak until later in life due to various life experiences, personal growth, or changes in circumstances.

In your case, the resurgence of sexual desire at 39 could be attributed to several factors. Hormonal changes, particularly in testosterone levels, can affect sexual desire in men. While testosterone levels typically peak in the late teens to early 20s, they can remain relatively stable into middle age before gradually declining. However, some men may experience fluctuations that can lead to increased sexual desire later in life.
Psychological factors also play a significant role. If you have recently experienced changes in your life—such as a new relationship, increased confidence, or even a shift in your mental health—these could contribute to a newfound interest in sexual activity. Additionally, societal pressures and personal expectations can influence how we perceive our sexual desires and when they should manifest.

Regarding your thoughts about seeking sexual experiences through sex work, it's crucial to approach this topic with caution. Engaging in sexual activities with sex workers can pose risks, including sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and emotional complications. If financial constraints are a concern, it may be beneficial to explore other avenues for sexual expression that do not involve financial transactions. For instance, masturbation is a healthy and normal way to explore your sexuality and relieve sexual tension without the risks associated with sexual encounters with others.

Moreover, if you find that your sexual desires are causing you distress or leading to compulsive thoughts about seeking sex work, it may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings about sexuality, relationships, and any underlying issues that may be contributing to your current state. A therapist can help you develop healthier coping mechanisms and strategies for managing your sexual desires in a way that aligns with your values and circumstances.

In summary, experiencing sexual desire at 39 is not unusual, and there are various factors that could explain this development. It's essential to approach your feelings with curiosity rather than judgment and to consider seeking support from a mental health professional if you feel overwhelmed. Engaging in healthy sexual practices, whether through self-exploration or building connections with others, can lead to a more fulfilling understanding of your sexuality. Remember, it's never too late to explore and understand your desires in a safe and healthy manner.

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