How Childhood Bullying Shapes Personality and Emotional Stability

Experiencing bullying in childhood can lead to changes in personality?

When I was younger, I was originally very optimistic and cheerful, but I became withdrawn after being bullied in elementary school.
Although I had teachers and classmates who helped me overcome this, my personality still tends to be unstable.
I often take out my frustrations on classmates over minor issues.
I know this is wrong, but I can't seem to control it.
Even though my classmates understand my past and are forgiving, I still hope to improve.

Wang, 10~19 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/09/29

Dr. Peng Liyun reply Psychiatry

Hello, from your letter, it is clear that you are experiencing discomfort and distress.
The diagnosis needs to be discussed with a physician, and a more in-depth evaluation of your personality may also be required.
However, it is important to ask yourself if you have coping strategies for these situations.
If you cannot find suitable ways to manage, or if these issues are indeed affecting your life and interpersonal relationships, I recommend seeking further evaluation and treatment at a hospital.
Treatment options typically vary based on the severity of the condition.
Our clinic has outpatient services available from Monday to Friday in the morning and afternoon, as well as on Saturday and public holidays (except Sundays) in the morning.
I suggest you consider coming in for an evaluation to discuss the best treatment options together.

Reply Date: 2020/09/29

More Info

Childhood bullying can have profound and lasting effects on an individual's personality and emotional stability. Your experience of transitioning from an optimistic and outgoing child to someone who feels isolated and struggles with emotional regulation is not uncommon among those who have faced bullying. The psychological impact of bullying can manifest in various ways, including anxiety, depression, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships.

When children are bullied, they often experience feelings of helplessness and low self-worth. These feelings can lead to a negative self-image, which may persist into adulthood. The emotional scars left by bullying can result in a heightened sensitivity to criticism and a tendency to react defensively or aggressively, as you described with your tendency to lash out at classmates. This behavior is often a projection of internalized pain and frustration, where the individual feels compelled to assert control in situations where they previously felt powerless.

The process of healing from bullying is complex and requires time, self-reflection, and often professional support. It is encouraging to hear that you have had supportive teachers and classmates who have helped you navigate your feelings. However, it is essential to continue working on your emotional regulation and interpersonal skills to foster healthier relationships and improve your overall emotional stability.

Here are some strategies that may help you in this journey:
1. Self-Awareness and Reflection: Acknowledge your feelings and triggers. Understanding what situations lead to feelings of anger or frustration can help you develop strategies to manage your reactions. Keeping a journal can be a helpful way to process your emotions and identify patterns in your behavior.

2. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded and reduce emotional reactivity. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can promote relaxation and help you manage stress more effectively.

3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Engaging in therapy, particularly CBT, can provide you with tools to challenge negative thought patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms. A therapist can help you explore the roots of your emotional instability and guide you in developing more constructive responses to stressors.

4. Building Healthy Relationships: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who understand your past and are willing to help you grow. Open communication with friends and family about your feelings can foster understanding and strengthen your connections.

5. Setting Boundaries: Learning to set boundaries with others can help you feel more in control of your interactions. This includes recognizing when to step back from situations that trigger negative emotions and asserting your needs in a respectful manner.

6. Engaging in Positive Activities: Find hobbies or activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Engaging in creative outlets, sports, or volunteer work can boost your self-esteem and provide a sense of purpose.

7. Seeking Professional Help: If you find that your emotional instability continues to interfere with your daily life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. They can provide tailored support and strategies to help you navigate your feelings and improve your emotional health.

In conclusion, while childhood bullying can leave deep emotional scars, it is possible to heal and develop a more stable and positive outlook on life. By actively working on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and building supportive relationships, you can move toward a healthier emotional state and improve your interactions with others. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, and taking proactive steps toward healing is a commendable journey.

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