Feeling Trapped: Seeking Help for Mental Health Struggles

I'm not sure what to do?

Dear Doctor,
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter amidst your busy schedule.
I am unsure about what to do.
I have been experiencing symptoms for several years, and they have recently been worsening.
My symptoms include a persistent feeling that someone is monitoring my thoughts and that there are people hiding in the shadows watching me, possibly behind a chair, sending signals to my brain.
I feel that these could be certain individuals or negative experiences, which leads me to feel overwhelmed, believing that these people intend to harm me or that they are controlling and influencing my life.
These thoughts are incessant; they start as soon as I wake up.
However, I do not experience auditory hallucinations or have thoughts of harming others—only thoughts of self-harm.
(I researched online and found that schizophrenia can involve hallucinations.) I have had many jobs but left them quickly for this reason.
Even at an age when I should have graduated from college, I am still attending university and have switched schools multiple times.
My parents do not agree with me seeing a psychiatrist; they believe that I am just unable to handle pressure and do not want to work, but I am not pretending.
I feel helpless and do not understand what is wrong with me or what illness I might have.
If I need to seek treatment, I would have to hide it from my family, which is truly exhausting.

Xiao Ning, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2020/10/14

Dr. Guo Jialun reply Psychiatry

Based on your description, these symptoms have already impacted your work and daily life.
It is advisable to seek evaluation and treatment from a psychiatrist.
If your parents still oppose seeking treatment, you could ask them to accompany you to the appointment to hear the medical explanation and understand the evaluation results and recommendations.

Reply Date: 2020/10/14

More Info

It sounds like you are experiencing a significant amount of distress and confusion regarding your mental health, and I want to acknowledge how difficult this must be for you. The feelings of being monitored or controlled by others, along with the persistent negative thoughts, can be incredibly overwhelming. It’s important to understand that you are not alone in feeling this way, and there are pathways to help you navigate through these challenges.

From your description, it seems you may be dealing with symptoms that could be associated with anxiety disorders or even psychotic disorders, such as paranoid thoughts. While you mentioned that you do not experience hallucinations, the feeling of being watched or controlled can still be distressing and can significantly impact your daily life and functioning. It’s crucial to differentiate between these feelings and actual psychotic experiences, as the latter often involves hallucinations or delusions that are not based in reality.

The fact that these symptoms have persisted for several years and are worsening indicates that it would be beneficial for you to seek professional help. Mental health professionals, such as psychiatrists or psychologists, can provide a thorough assessment and help you understand what you are experiencing. They can also offer treatment options, which may include therapy, medication, or a combination of both. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is particularly effective for anxiety and can help you develop coping strategies to manage intrusive thoughts and feelings of paranoia.

I understand that you are concerned about your parents' reaction to seeking help. It’s common for individuals to feel hesitant about discussing mental health issues with family members, especially if they believe their loved ones may not understand or support them. However, it’s important to prioritize your well-being. If you feel comfortable, consider discussing your feelings with a trusted friend or a counselor at your university. They can provide support and may help you find the courage to seek professional help.

In the United States, mental health services are designed to be confidential. This means that your medical records and the details of your treatment will be kept private, and you have the right to control who knows about your mental health status. If you are worried about confidentiality, you can discuss this with the mental health professional before starting treatment.

Additionally, there are resources available, such as hotlines and support groups, where you can talk to someone who understands what you are going through. These can be great first steps in seeking help without the pressure of formal treatment.

Lastly, I want to emphasize that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It takes courage to confront these feelings and to reach out for support. You deserve to feel better and to live a life free from the burden of these distressing thoughts. Please consider taking that step towards healing, whether it’s through therapy, medication, or support from friends and family. You are not alone in this journey, and there are people who want to help you.

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