Unconventional Thoughts: Seeking Help for Mental Health Issues

I feel like I might be a bit perverse?

Hello, doctor: I have been unsure about what to do and whether this is a kind of illness.
My thought processes are different from others, and only one classmate who shares similar issues knows about it.
We are cautious not to let anyone else know about our conversations.
Ultimately, we both agreed that we should see a psychiatrist together.
She has been feeling down and asked me if I would try to dissuade her if she considered suicide.
I calmly told her that at least there should be an explanation, rather than leaving without a word.
We even discussed methods of suicide.
She believes that "before happiness arrives, death is the happiest thing," and I agree.
I feel like I am twisted for wanting someone to die.
We reflect each other like a mirror; the difference is that she can easily contemplate death, feeling there is nothing in the world worth holding onto, including our classmates.
I, however, cannot.
I love my family, and they are my motivation to live, so I cannot die.
When I feel sad and think about dying, I only end up hurting myself, using physical pain to alleviate my emotional suffering, but I would never seriously injure myself because I fear pain.
I know this behavior is wrong, but I am easily influenced by others' emotions, just like my classmate.
She wants to die, and I do not stop or advise her against it.
Is this a kind of illness?

Amino, 20~29 year old female. Ask Date: 2003/02/04

Dr. Lin Yanhong reply Psychiatry

"Before happiness arrives, death may seem like the happiest thing," sounds terrifying, doesn't it? Perhaps your current life experiences tell you that ending it all seems meaningful.
Many people, when in a state of depression, easily develop pessimistic thoughts, even feelings of nihilism, or resort to self-harm to alleviate their pain.
Is depression a disease? Humans are emotional beings, and emotions naturally fluctuate.
Generally, after self-healing or psychological reconstruction, individuals gain new insights and motivation to move forward.
However, if one cannot find a way out and the situation worsens, leading to suicidal thoughts and impaired daily functioning, depression should be considered.
Yet, many people do not view depression as an illness (like a cold of the mind, which can be life-threatening in severe cases).
Of course, if it is an illness, there is a chance for recovery, depending on your willingness to seek help.
Online consultations can only provide basic advice; sustained effort and battling depression are necessary to demonstrate life's resilience and value.
People should not exist solely for themselves but also for others and for certain goals.
The meaning of life is sought through work, and one should not blame others or society for its harshness.
Self-worth must be created by oneself.
You and your friends share a common struggle; a gray palette cannot produce a colorful painting.
I encourage you to seek help with your friends.
If you are willing, you can also come to Xinying Hospital to see me; I would be happy to help you.
Dr.
Lin Yan-Hong

Reply Date: 2003/02/04

More Info

It's clear that you are grappling with some complex and distressing thoughts and feelings, both for yourself and in relation to your friend. The experiences you describe suggest that you and your friend may be dealing with significant emotional distress, which can manifest in various ways, including unconventional thoughts about life and death. It’s important to recognize that these thoughts and feelings are serious and deserve attention.

Firstly, it’s crucial to understand that having unconventional thoughts or feelings, especially those related to self-harm or suicide, can be indicative of underlying mental health issues. These might include anxiety, depression, or other mood disorders. The fact that you and your friend are discussing such heavy topics, including suicide, is a sign that you both may be in a vulnerable state. While it’s natural to want to support each other, it’s also essential to seek professional help. Mental health professionals, such as psychiatrists or psychologists, are trained to help individuals navigate these feelings and thoughts in a safe and constructive manner.

Your acknowledgment of your love for your family and your desire to live for them is a positive sign. It indicates that, despite the distress you feel, there are aspects of your life that you value. This can be a powerful motivator for seeking help. Self-harm, even if it is not severe, is a coping mechanism that can lead to further emotional and physical harm. It’s important to find healthier ways to cope with your feelings. Engaging in activities that bring you joy, practicing mindfulness, or exploring creative outlets can be beneficial.

Regarding your friend, it’s concerning that she expresses a desire to end her life. While you may feel a sense of calm about her thoughts, it’s vital to take them seriously. Encouraging her to seek help from a mental health professional is crucial. You can support her by listening without judgment and encouraging her to talk about her feelings, but ultimately, a trained professional can provide the necessary support and intervention.

In terms of what you can do, here are some steps you might consider:
1. Encourage Professional Help: Both you and your friend should consider seeing a mental health professional. This can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and thoughts without judgment.

2. Open Communication: Talk openly with your friend about your concerns for her well-being. Let her know that you care about her and that it’s okay to seek help.

3. Practice Self-Care: Focus on your own mental health as well. Engage in activities that promote well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones.

4. Educate Yourself: Understanding mental health issues can help you both recognize the signs of distress and the importance of seeking help.

5. Crisis Resources: If either of you ever feels overwhelmed, it’s important to know that there are crisis resources available. In the U.S., the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK) is available 24/7 for anyone in crisis.

6. Support Networks: Surround yourselves with supportive friends and family who can provide encouragement and understanding.

In conclusion, while it’s commendable that you are seeking to understand your thoughts and feelings, it’s crucial to recognize when professional help is needed. Mental health is a complex field, and navigating it alone can be challenging. By reaching out for help, you can find healthier ways to cope and support each other through this difficult time. Remember, you are not alone, and there are resources available to help you both.

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